Cell U R Tales From The Script

The script to the multimedia podcast novel. Gnathal, a virginal game-boy-human-cellphone, goes into debt to buy a custom automobile to seduce a gypsy fortune-teller belly-dancing professional escort who calls herself Vampire Elvirus. The State will not allow him to come of age, and when he expresses his frustration, he gets fired. He joins the DevaCops, gets kidnapped, and escapes to live as a hermit amongst Genetically Modified Organisms. When the equestrian daughter of a SuperUser rescues him, Daddy doesn't approve of their relationship until Ganthal becomes the murdered Godhead "Christopheles Rex," who promised to erase the inequities of iniquity, raise the late departed, and decease the ceased. Drugged into a confession, sentenced to Civil Death, Gnathal doesn't know he must enlist the aide of his lust object to rescue his fiance, who carries the seed of a new human race, or something worse... Our near future, as human cellphones that need a revolution.

A divorced man vacationing in Hawaii, during the off season, thinks he's losing his mind - all the women he meets seem like witches. He doesn't realize a conference of body-mind-spirit aficionado, witches, Wiccans, mediums, spiritualist and other Magic Thinkers, meet on the Big Island of Hawaii. A couple of chance encounters with one convinces both "it was meant to be" and so he joins two beautiful young nudists on a whirlwind tour of the Big Island's charms, and learns some frightening aspects of Godless Goddesses. "Women who read romances feel worthless. Sluts watch porn and feel perfect. The bigger a man's ego, the smaller his you-know-what. Men with tiny thingees overcompensate. They become muscle builders, or drive sports cars, and indulge in risky behavior. Women see that, they nod and lower the head, raise the eyebrows, roll the eyes, and say, "I knew it, no ding-a-ling." All the two-ton, gonad-dangling ball-and-socket hitched pickups in the world can't make up for a limp spaghetti or a puckered raisin. God made a mistake; Adam's rib wasn't a boner, it was a womb. God gave man a penis and a brain, and enough blood for one. Men get excited, the blood runs south, the tongue comes out, and a doglike brain takes over. That's why a man will stick his nose where it doesn't belong, and try to bury his bone by humping your leg while dancing. Men will do anything if they think it's foreplay. My last ex-boyfriend whined "I feel insecure. I can't stop thinking that you don't need me." He came the closest to being right. I appreciate a man who tells me what he wants or needs from me, so I can tell him to learn to get along without it. If you want to give me advice, ask, and I will tell you what to say. If a man can afford me, I might tolerate him. If you love me, I will take advantage of you. If you hurt me, I will destroy you. I think, therefore I am single. I don't want to be divorced. I want to be a widow." Sincerely, Your Next Girlfriend

Mr. Plimsoll joins a North-American 'Christian' philanthropic caravan that converges upon San Diego to deliver used computers to Cuba. The two hundred 'Caravanistas' from North America each donated computers, or paid around $1,000 to go to Cuba, to help end the trade embargo, sanctions, and accusations about Cuba's Human Rights violations. The leadership advertises their showdown with the Feds in the name of Civil Disobedience. Of course the Feds win, and take away all the computers. The 'Caravanistas' hear words of encouragement- to sit it out in a hunger strike until they get the computers back. This doesn't sit well with everyone, especially not with the outspoken Mark Plimsoll. In this first-person account of Mark Plimsoll's BILINGUAL participation on the tour, he adroitly describes the comedic confrontations with police, the FBI, professional protesters, star-crossed lovers, and U.S. Customs agents- and in Cuba, the sexual magnetism between people with money, and people without.

These twelve dazzling stories from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie — the Orange Broadband Prize–winning author of Half of a Yellow Sun — are her most intimate works to date. In these stories Adichie turns her penetrating eye to the ties that bind men and women, parents and children, Nigeria and the United States. In “A Private Experience,” a medical student hides from a violent riot with a poor Muslim woman, and the young mother at the centre of “Imitation” finds her comfortable life in Philadelphia threatened when she learns that her husband has moved his mistress into their Lagos home. Searing and profound, suffused with beauty, sorrow and longing, this collection is a resounding confirmation of Adichie’s prodigious literary powers.

National Book Award Finalist: “This man’s ideas may be the most influential, not to say controversial, of the second half of the twentieth century.”—Columbus Dispatch At the heart of this classic, seminal book is Julian Jaynes's still-controversial thesis that human consciousness did not begin far back in animal evolution but instead is a learned process that came about only three thousand years ago and is still developing. The implications of this revolutionary scientific paradigm extend into virtually every aspect of our psychology, our history and culture, our religion—and indeed our future. “Don’t be put off by the academic title of Julian Jaynes’s The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. Its prose is always lucid and often lyrical…he unfolds his case with the utmost intellectual rigor.”—The New York Times “When Julian Jaynes . . . speculates that until late in the twentieth millennium BC men had no consciousness but were automatically obeying the voices of the gods, we are astounded but compelled to follow this remarkable thesis.”—John Updike, The New Yorker “He is as startling as Freud was in The Interpretation of Dreams, and Jaynes is equally as adept at forcing a new view of known human behavior.”—American Journal of Psychiatry

Nkem is living a life of wealth and security in America, until she discovers that her husband is keeping a girlfriend back home in Nigeria. In this high-intensity story of passion and the masks we all wear, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of the acclaimed novels Half of a Yellow Sun and Americanah and winner of the Orange Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award, explores the ties that bind men and women, parents and children, Africa and the United States. “Imitation” is a selection from Adichie’s collection The Thing Around Your Neck. An eBook short.

From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

Whose truth is the lie? Stay up all night reading the sensational psychological thriller that has readers obsessed, from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Too Late and It Ends With Us. #1 New York Times Bestseller · USA Today Bestseller · Globe and Mail Bestseller · Publishers Weekly Bestseller Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity's recollection of the night her family was forever altered. Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents could devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue loving her.