Dad Jokes And Pine Cones

Have you ever noticed when you’re out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered “yes” to any of the following, you’re not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad’s persona. This comedic canon compiles more than four hundred of the best pseudo-witty quips so that dads can hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as: Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits! And many other gut-busting groaners for your amusement! With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the ultimate jokester and the master of all things punny—or just keep it for yourself.

This illustrated book by the New York Times–bestselling creators of the Happiness Is . . . project will leave your family in stitches. The World’s Best Dad Jokes for Kids is filled with hundreds of corny, brilliant, and silly jokes that dads love to tell—each paired with a small drawing that’s a sweet comic gem in itself. It’s the perfect book for road trips, rainy days, or those special moments when kids and parents can laugh together.

Hundreds and Hundreds of Jokes that Will Drive Your Family Crazy Nothing is more hilarious for moms, sons, and daughters than the bad jokes dads tell. (Well, at least he thinks they're hilarious . . .) Have you ever noticed when you’re out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered “yes” to any of the following, you’re not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad’s persona. This comedic compendium compiles more than eight hundred of the best jokes dads can use to hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food; no atmosphere. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality. With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the least funny/most "punny" guy in the room.

This Father’s Day, give Dad a taste of his own bad medicine with Dad Jokes, the joke book you’ll hate to love! Over 100 hilarious knock knock jokes, puns, and silly punchlines about all of Dad’s favorite things will have the whole family laughing. Q: What did the daddy volcano say to his son? A: I lava you. Q: What does the Sourdough daddy do at night? A: Tells breadtime stories.

The complete collection of the World's Greatest Dad Jokes is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling. With hundreds of jokes that will make you groan--then make you smile. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. Now the dad joke aficionado in your life will never run out of puns, no matter how much you might want them to. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse.

The Brick of Dad Jokes is the ultimate collection of puns, quips, and corny one-liners that is sure to get eyes rolling. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! The Brick of Dad Jokes is an eye-rolling, groan-inducing collection of hundreds of jokes for the dad joke aficionado in your life. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they’re good. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he’s heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse.

An all-encompassing guide to entertaining, amazing, and possibly even educating children, Be the Coolest Dad on the Block provides the perfect excuse to stand on a balloon, play with grated cheese in the microwave, and unroll an entire roll of toilet paper, all in the name of spending time with your kids. Written by a comedy writer and a cartoonist with thirty years’ combined experience as dads, Be the Coolest Dad on the Block is a cornucopia of practical parenting advice, like how to skip stones or teach a kid to ride a bike. It has answers to the pesky questions kids love, such as “Why is the sky blue?” or “Where do babies come from?” And it can help dads entertain large groups of kids with slapstick gags (“burp the alphabet”) or cool tricks (“the hole in the head”). Be the Coolest Dad on the Block also contains spooky myths for telling around the campfire and loads of quizzes and jokes for rainy days or endless car rides. With a range of ideas to suit all situations and sensibilities, Be the Coolest Dad on the Block gives any dad the right stuff to be the wackiest and smartest guy in the room.