Dad Jokes

The perfect gift for dads and pun-lovers alike "Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me." Ah, the dad joke--humor that reminds us of all the lovable, embarrassing dads out there. Be prepared for the obvious, silly, and awkward in this massive collection of the best groan-worthy dad jokes around, including clever quips, overly literal dialogue, and punny one-liners. These jokes may be on porpoise, but they whale definitely make you laugh: I used to hate facial hair, but then it started growing on me. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down Q: What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? A: The road. With over 600 knee-slappers, head-shakers, and groan-makers, Dad Jokes is packed with enough witty quips and cheesy-but-grate jokes for you to hold your own against even the most embarrassing of dads. But remember--you don't have to be a dad to tell dad jokes

Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!

A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”

New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!

A collection of the very best jokes from the hilarious Instagram account @dadsaysjokes - so bad they're good. From the most-followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @dadsaysjokes, comes a collection of hilariously cheesy jokes that will leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. This is the perfect gift for dads who want to expand their repertoire and anyone who fancies reminiscing about a childhood full of these no-nonsense 'bad' puns. Here are a couple of tasters: Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose. Q: Are you today's date? A: Cuz you're 10/10.

Dad’s comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade . . . to the relief of everyone around him! Cue the groans. Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch—line, that is! He’ll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! Dad: “I wouldn’t want to be buried in this graveyard.” Kid: “Why not?” Dad: “Because I'm not dead yet!” And many more!

A dad was washing his car with his son until the son said, "Dad, can you please just use a sponge?" Unleash the dadliest force known to man: dad jokes. A Daily Dose of Dad Jokes is packed with 365 jokes to make you groan--and then make you smile. Master jokesters Peter L. Harmon and Taylor Calmus (a.k.a. "Dude Dad") offer enough of their top-quality, best-worst puns, quips, one-liners, and made-up stories to last you an entire year. A Daily Dose of Dad Jokes includes: So bad, they're good--Nobody ever said dad jokes were good. Seriously, they're awful. That's what makes them awesome. Keep 'em coming--Day after day, drop new witticisms on anyone within hearing range: kids, spouses, colleagues, unsuspecting neighbors... Family friendly--These dad jokes are safe for the bar or breakfast table, so you can share them all--the good, the dad, and the ugly. Why hold back? Give your family and friends their daily dose of dad jokes!

All new content from the bestselling Dad Jokes All New Dad Jokes is the second book from the most followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @dadsaysjokes. Now with a following of over 1 million, All New Dad Jokes provides brand new content guaranteed to leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Instagram account with more than 1 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favorites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, an 18 year-old social networking mastermind started his career at the tender age of 14 , when he created his original platform, Football.Newz, to serve audiences for the World cup 2014. He has recently added another nine platforms in different genres (of which @DadJokes is one), with nine million followers and rising. This is his second book. Q: What do you call a snowman with a six pack? A: An abdominal snowman.