The Ultimate Book Of Dad Jokes

A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”

New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!

Dad’s comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade . . . to the relief of everyone around him! Cue the groans. Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch—line, that is! He’ll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! Dad: “I wouldn’t want to be buried in this graveyard.” Kid: “Why not?” Dad: “Because I'm not dead yet!” And many more!

A dad was washing his car with his son until the son said, "Dad, can you please just use a sponge?" Unleash the dadliest force known to man: dad jokes. A Daily Dose of Dad Jokes is packed with 365 jokes to make you groan--and then make you smile. Master jokesters Peter L. Harmon and Taylor Calmus (a.k.a. "Dude Dad") offer enough of their top-quality, best-worst puns, quips, one-liners, and made-up stories to last you an entire year. A Daily Dose of Dad Jokes includes: So bad, they're good--Nobody ever said dad jokes were good. Seriously, they're awful. That's what makes them awesome. Keep 'em coming--Day after day, drop new witticisms on anyone within hearing range: kids, spouses, colleagues, unsuspecting neighbors... Family friendly--These dad jokes are safe for the bar or breakfast table, so you can share them all--the good, the dad, and the ugly. Why hold back? Give your family and friends their daily dose of dad jokes!

Turn the bad jokes back on dad with this seriously silly joke book, the perfect funny Halloween gift for kids and families to laugh and celebrate together! Dads have been embarrassing their kids for decades with goofy and groan-worthy jokes, and now it's their children's turn! In this hilarious new joke book from USA Today bestselling author Jimmy Niro, kids can out-dad-joke their dads and even learn how to write some of their own. Filled with over 350 silly jokes about school, sports, animals, and more, Dad Jokes for Kids will have young readers rolling on the floor with laughter! Plus, children can learn to write their own dad jokes with fun activities in the back! This book is perfect for: The whole family - perfect for kids ages 7 to 12, but offers fun for the entire family! Reluctant readers - fun jokes help engage reluctant kids, helping them gain confidence and build reading comprehension and vocabulary Screen-free time - Endless laughs for road trips, vacations, sleepovers, game nights, and more! Gifts - makes a great holiday stocking stuffer, white elephant gag gift for kids, or Father's Day gift to share with dads Includes jokes like: Q: What did the carrot say to the broccoli? A: Nothing. Vegetables can't talk. You can't play hide-and-seek with mountains. They're always peaking.

All new content from the bestselling Dad Jokes All New Dad Jokes is the second book from the most followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @dadsaysjokes. Now with a following of over 1 million, All New Dad Jokes provides brand new content guaranteed to leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Instagram account with more than 1 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favorites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, an 18 year-old social networking mastermind started his career at the tender age of 14 , when he created his original platform, Football.Newz, to serve audiences for the World cup 2014. He has recently added another nine platforms in different genres (of which @DadJokes is one), with nine million followers and rising. This is his second book. Q: What do you call a snowman with a six pack? A: An abdominal snowman.

Hundreds and Hundreds of Jokes that Will Drive Your Family Crazy Nothing is more hilarious for moms, sons, and daughters than the bad jokes dads tell. (Well, at least he thinks they're hilarious . . .) Have you ever noticed when you’re out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered “yes” to any of the following, you’re not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad’s persona. This comedic compendium compiles more than eight hundred of the best jokes dads can use to hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food; no atmosphere. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality. With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the least funny/most "punny" guy in the room.

Featuring "From: __________ " on cover! Great gift for Dad from kids, from son, from daughter, from wife etcQ.What does a spy wear on his feet?A.Sneakers. : P Everyone loves cheesy, badly timed dad jokes because they are told by your dad, and you only get one dad right? So help your dad improve his collection of jokes that will make you cringe and laugh at the same time. This joke book for dads will make a great gift, as the giver can write who it's from on the cover, so dad will think of you while telling his cheesy jokes.