Don T Count The Candles

Examines extent of hunger and malnutrition problem in U.S.

Most of us have encountered frustrating incidents in our lifetimes. For humor columnist Wolfgang Niesielski, one of his most exasperating moments involves an expensive hotel room, a faulty thermostat, and a patronizing front desk clerk only to be rescued by two gentlemen who, after conferring with each other in hushed tones, change their pleasant demeanor into the serious miens of surgeons before a heart transplant operation. In this compilation of his humor columns, Niesielski provides an amusing take on everyday experiences. See what it's like to have an evil cyber presence monopolize your e-mail account, understand the overwhelming differences between first class and tourist class on an airplane, and find out why it's important to choose the right gift for a loved one even if it is a Salad Shooter or an electric nail-file buffing system. From learning how unforgiving Mother Nature truly is when he forgets how to water the lawn to the moment when he discovers he is a procrastinator in the worst way, Niesielski illustrates what fun life can be when one learns to laugh at himself. The Alien in My E-Mail and Other Stories takes others on a delightful ride through one man's wacky life Salad Shooter and all.

There's No Such Thing As Over The Hill, Because The Hill Has Been Moved!In this humorous, practical book, Joan Rivers shows every woman how to be the best she can be and stay youthful, healthy, and mellow at any--and every--age. Filled with the latest information as well as entertaining anecdotes and stories, Don't Count the Candles provides down-to-earth, sensible advice on everything that every woman needs to be her best, from wardrobe and fitness to surgery and sex.Here is Joan Rivers's own unique take on aging: IQ does not decrease with age. If you were a moron at twenty, you will be a moron at seventy-five. At fifty, confine your piercing to sardine cans and keep your hair short. Eat all you want, just don't swallow it. A roll in the hay keeps the doctor away--unless he happens to be in the hay with you. Take it from Joan Rivers--you've got a lot of living left to do!

Give your child a smart start with the revised and updated What Your Fourth Grader Needs to Know How can you help your child at home? This book answers that important question and more, offering the specific shared knowledge that thousands of parents and teachers across the nation have agreed upon for American fourth graders. Featuring full-color illustrations throughout, a bolder, easier-to-follow format, and a thoroughly updated curriculum, What Your Fourth Grader Needs to Know is designed for parents and teachers to enjoy with children. Hundreds of thousands of students have benefited from the Core Knowledge Series. This edition, featuring a new Introduction, gives today’s generation of fourth graders the advantage they need to make progress in school and establish an approach to learning that will last a lifetime. Inside you’ll discover • Favorite poems—old and new, from the familiar classic “Paul Revere’s Ride” to Langston Hughes’s “Dreams” • Literature—from around the world, including African and Chinese folktales, excerpts from beloved novels, and condensed versions of popular classics such as Gulliver’s Travels and “Rip Van Winkle” • Learning about language—the basics of written English, including grammar, punctuation, parts of speech, synonyms and antonyms, plus an introduction to common English sayings and phrases • World and American history and geography—explore world and American history, including creation of a constitutional government and early presidents and politics • Visual arts—a broad spectrum of art from around the world, including African masks, Islamic architecture, Chinese calligraphy, and great American painters—featuring full-color reproductions • Music—understanding and appreciating music, from the basics of musical notation to the orchestra, plus great composers and sing-along lyrics for such favorites as “Auld Lang Syne” and “Waltzing Matilda” • Math—challenging lessons ranging from fractions and decimals to understanding graphs, making change, square roots, and the metric system • Science—discover the wonders of the human body and its systems, learn about electricity, atoms, chemistry, geology, and meteorology, plus concise biographies of some of the great scientists of our time