Don T Poop In The Tub

When my bubble bath for one becomes a bubble bath for two, it's time to lay down some rules of what pirates do and don't do! Come join our adventure across the wide soap sea, I know you'll love it too, just you wait and see.

Why does your toddler get upset when his or her routine is disrupted? Why do they follow you from room to room and refuse to play on their own? Why are daily routines such as mealtimes, bath time, and bed time such a struggle? This accessible guide demystifies the difficult behaviors of anxious toddlers, offering tried-and-tested practical solutions to common parenting dilemmas. Each chapter begins with a real life example, clearly illustrating the behavior from the parent's and the toddler's perspective. Once the toddler's anxious behavior has been demystified and explained, new and effective parenting approaches are introduced to help parents tackle everyday difficulties and build up their child's resilience, independence, and coping mechanisms. Common difficulties with bath time, toileting, sleep, eating, transitions, social anxiety, separation anxiety, and sensory issues are solved, along with specific fears and phobias, and more extreme behaviors such as skin picking and hair pulling. A must-read for all parents of anxious toddlers, as well as for the professionals involved in supporting them.

In this wickedly funny novel, one bad afternoon and two regrettable comments make the inimitable Philip Sharpe go viral for all the worst reasons. Dr. Philip Sharpe, absent-minded professor extraordinaire, teaches philosophy at the University of Toronto and is one of Canada’s most combative public intellectuals. But when a live TV debate with his fiercest rival goes horribly off the rails, an oblivious Philip says some things to her that he really shouldn’t have. As a clip of Philip’s “slip” goes viral, it soon reveals all the cracks and fissures in his marriage with his young, stay-at-home wife, Grace. And while the two of them try to get on the same side of the situation, things quickly spiral out of control. Can Philip make amends and save his marriage? Is there any hope of salvaging his reputation? To do so, he’ll need to take a hard look at his on-air comments, and to conscript a band of misfits in a scheme to set things right.

This book is the unpolished view into the life of one little family in the South. The words are an honest reminder as to why some animals eat their young and why all parents pray for sudden lightning or magic fairy dust to render spontaneous combustion possible at least once a day until all their children move away. It is also kept as a meticulous record by one Southern mommaa diary of all the reasons she prays her grandchildren turn out just like her own precious offspring.

What I’ve Learned - An Encyclopedia of Perpetual Bullshit covers topics that affect us every single day, as seen through the eyes of Chris Heist. Just like you, he’s a nobody that wants to be a somebody. So he set out to write this book; losing two jobs, an apartment, and a marriage along the way. In this book you’ll learn how to properly reject etiquette, how to legally stare into your neighbor’s windows, how to properly support suicide, how to make sense out of idiotic laws, how to insult people’s mothers, how to piss off religious people, how to write a screenplay, how to use taboo words without getting your ass kicked, how to play drinking games, how to handle holidays, how to use the bible to avoid paying child support, how to spot a scumbag boss, how to disgust hotel staff, how to behave online, how to deal with addiction, how to properly be patriotic, how to skip high school, how to say impolite things in German, how to choose heroes, and how to enjoy what you have with the time you have to enjoy it. In his small circle of friends, he is both a legend and an asshole. But now, Christopher T. Heist can invade the lives of complete strangers as he shares his twisted perspective of everything he’s been exposed to. And yes, nothing is sacred. As a self-proclaimed actor, activist, poet, porn star, comedian, screenwriter, atheist, author, body-builder, recovered addict, part-time alcoholic, part-time racist, leader, winner, loser, counselor, ex-soldier, runner, bicyclist, laborer, prisoner, freethinker, singer, rapper, boxer, criminal, pimp, victim, street fighter, dirty fighter, dealer, director, graduate, guardian, sucker puncher, lover, photographer, model, artist, father, inventor, slave to the system, and all around survivalist; you may find yourself nodding in agreement to some of the crazy shit he hammers out in this book.

A light and lively companion to Sorry I Peed on You, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is a hilarious collection of full-color photos and letters of apologies and suggestions from dogs to the people who love them—no matter what bad thing they’ve done! Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.

Unconventional--yet effective--parenting strategies, carefully curated by the creator of the popular podcast The Longest Shortest Time Some of the best parenting advice that Hillary Frank ever received did not come from parenting experts, but from friends and podcast listeners who acted on a whim, often in moments of desperation. These "weird parenting wins" were born of moments when the expert advice wasn't working, and instead of freaking out, these parents had a stroke of genius. For example, there's the dad who pig-snorted in his baby's ear to get her to stop crying, and the mom who made a "flat daddy" out of cardboard and sat it at the dinner table when her kids were missing their deployed military father. Every parent and kid is unique, and as we get to know our kids, we can figure out what makes them tick. Because this is an ongoing process, Weird Parenting Wins covers children of all ages, ranging in topics from "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Act Like a Person" (on hygiene, potty training, and manners) to "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Tell You Things" (because eventually, they're going to be tight-lipped). You may find that someone else's weird parenting win works for you, or you might be inspired to try something new the next time you're stuck in a parenting rut. Or maybe you'll just get a good laugh out of the mom who got her kid to try beets because...it might turn her poop pink.

An indispensable survival manual for men entering the trenches of fatherhood, Be Prepared is loaded with one-of-a-kind insights, MacGyver-esque tips and tricks, and no-nonsense advice for mastering the first year as a dad. Finally, a book that teaches men all the things they really need to know about fatherhood...including how to: -Change a baby at a packed sports stadium -Create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls, and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear -Stay awake (or at least upright) at work -Babyproof a hotel room in four minutes flat -Construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock, and duct tape Packed with helpful diagrams and detailed instructions, and delivered with a wry sense of humor, Be Prepared is the ultimate guide for sleep-deprived, applesauce-covered fathers everywhere.