Don T Touch This Book

Larry the lovable monster from Don't Push the Button is back with another hilarious, interactive adventure I know what you're thinking: this is a pretty cool-looking book. But... DON'T TOUCH THIS BOOK (Don't even try it, bub.) Okay, okay. You can touch, but you can only use ONE finger. Whoa. How'd you do that? Larry is a loveable monster, but he has trouble sharing. It's up to you to show him how it's done

You are surely now asking yourself why you are supposed to keep your hands off this book. Is it just a clever advertising strategy? Hardly so. As you know, two books of Jan van Helsing had been banned in Germany and Switzerland due to their highly controversial contents. And the mainstream media too barely lets a day go by without warning the populace about the ideas of "Germany's most dangerous author of specialized books". Now Jan van Helsing is once again shaking up someone's world view - yours! The advice, "Don't touch this book!" absolutely was meant to be taken seriously. Because after reading this book, it won't be easy for you to continue living your life the way you have been. Today, you could possibly still think, "Nobody told me this, so how was I supposed to know?" Today, you could also still hold the opinion that you, as an individual, have no say anyway and cannot change anything. However, after reading this book, this point of view will be history! If you are someone who is not interested in secrets, who has never felt the wish for internal and external wealth, who is unconcerned about success and health, then it will certainly be better if you follow the well-meant advice and keep your hands off this book. But if you have always felt that something isn't quite right with this world, if you are interested in the last secrets of this "enlightened" world, and if you are someone who wants to find out what else life might have in store, then this book is for you! But don't say you haven't been warned! Because Jan van Helsing will tell you about things and events that will give you a chance to have power over your own life and the power to let others partake in it. And those who have power also bear a huge responsibility. So now you have to make a choice: Do you want to continue being lived by others or has the time come for you to take charge of your own destiny? The decision is yours!

An entertaining picture book that teaches the importance of asking for permission first as a young girl attempts to escape the curious hands that want to touch her hair. It seems that wherever Aria goes, someone wants to touch her hair. In the street, strangers reach for her fluffy curls; and even under the sea, in the jungle, and in space, she's chased by a mermaid, monkeys, and poked by aliens...until, finally, Aria has had enough! Author-illustrator Sharee Miller takes the tradition of appreciation of black hair to a new, fresh, level as she doesn't seek to convince or remind young readers that their curls are beautiful--she simply acknowledges black beauty while telling a fun, imaginative story.

There's only one rule in Larry's book: don't push the button. (Seriously, don't even think about it!) Even if it does look kind of nice, you must never push the button. Who knows what would happen? Okay, quick. No one is looking... push the button. Uh, oh.

Offering helpful, humor-laced advice on how to avoid getting stung, bit, poked, jabbed, or poisoned--and what to do if it happens--this guide explains everything from rashes to anaphylaxis, tetanus to spider bites, and cat-scratch fever to rabies, all in kid-friendly language. A strong foundation in biology grounds the discussion, which explains how certain plants and animals can be dangerous and reveals medical information on the physical reactions they can produce. The topical trivia and goofy puns make learning fun both in the classroom and at home.

From Jason Pargin, the New York Times bestselling author of the cult sensation John Dies at the End, comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection--the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking. "Like an episode of AMC's The Walking Dead written by Douglas Adams of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." –Washington Post "Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller... [Jason Pargin] is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." –SF Signal

On Halloween night, Sara, Sammy, Jenny and Pete follow a strange set of clues to a creepy haunted house.

In 1930s Paris, the &“Butcher of the Dances&” is on the prowl for young, loose women, and local dominatrix Agatha suddenly turns up dead. Everyone assumes it was suicide, but her sister Blanche is convinced that the Butcher is responsible. She decides to take matters into her own hands, and in her pursuit, she ends up hired into a luxury house of call-girls. She soon becomes adept at certain practices, but she does not lose sight of her ultimate goal—to find her sister's killer. A suspenseful spicy tale as only the French could so lightly get away with, this work is deceptive in its depth and realism.