Drinking Games To Play Alone

I was at my wit's end. I'd had enough of this job, this life, and my relationship had broken up. Should I eat chocolate, or go to India, or fall in love? Then I had a revelation: Why not do all three, in that order? And so it was that I embarked on a journey that was segmented into three parts and was then made into a major motion picture. Later, I woke up on an airplane with a hole in my face and a really bad hangover. I was ushered brusquely off the plane by my parents who took me to a rehab where I tested positive for coke, classic coke, special k (the drug), Special K (the cereal), mushrooms, pepperoni, and Restless Leg Syndrome. It was there that I first began painting with my feet. But rewind...the year was 1914. I was just a young German soldier serving in the trenches while simultaneously trying to destroy an evil ring with some help from an elf, a troll, and a giant sorcerer, all while cooking every recipe out of a Julia Child cookbook. What I'm trying to say is that there was a secret code hidden in a painting and I was looking for it with this girl who had a tattoo of a dragon! Let me clarify, it was the 1930s and a bunch of us were migrating out of Oklahoma, and I was this teenage wizard/CIA operative, okay? And, um then I floated off into the meta-verse as a ball of invisible energy that had no outer edge... Ugh, okay. None of this is true. I'm just kind of a normal guy from New Jersey who moved to New York, got into comedy, wrote this book about trying to write this book, and then moved to Alaska, became the mayor of a small town, spent $30,000 on underwear, and now I'm going to rule the world!!!

REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS Let’s face it, there are thousands of books out there to help you avoid self-destructive behavior—but what fun is that? Welcome to the first book designed to help you not help yourself. Here you’ll find unsound advice on everything from engineering a revenge affair to picking the gateway drug that’s best for you. Chapters include: • 12 Steps to a Drinking “Problem” • Condoms Are for Suckers • How to Lose Way Too Much Weight in 90 Days • And more! As you travel down the road to self-destruction, let this hedonistic handbook be your guide. It may steer you wrong—in fact, it’s sure to do so—but when being wrong is this much fun, who wants to be right?

Thoroughly revised for the revamped SAT, Up Your Score: SAT is the only test-prep guide written for students by students—all of whom achieved perfect or near-perfect scores and went on to the colleges of their choice. A complement and reality check to the mainstream SAT study guides, it’s the book that kids recommend to one another, because it’s as entertaining as it is effective, showing students how to: • Think like the SAT • Ramp up their “mental math” powers • Remember the 12 most important grammar rules • Hone speed and timing • Understand key vocabulary words in context • Be a better guesser (and why it’s always better to guess) • Vanquish anxiety and improve concentration • Best fill in the answer circles, saving nearly six minutes • Unwind with SAT Yoga

Thoroughly overhauled for the new SAT, Up Your Score is the only test-prep guide written by students—all of whom achieved perfect or near-perfect scores and went on to the colleges of their choice. A complement and reality check to the mainstream SAT study guides, it’s the book that kids recommend to each other, because it’s as entertaining as it is effective, showing students how to: • Think like the SAT • Master insider math tricks • Remember the 13 most important grammar rules • Hone their speed and timing • Be a better guesser (and why it’s always better to guess) • Vanquish anxiety and improve concentration • Best fill in the answer circles, saving nearly six minutes • Unwind with SAT Yoga Packed with up-to-date information and smart strategies for the redesigned SAT, this new edition of Up Your Score is written with a sharp sense of humor in the irreverent voice of a peer, so it engages kids, rather than puts them to sleep. And, to really keep that energy up, it includes a recipe for Sweet & Tasty 800 Bars.

More college-bound seniors than ever are taking the SAT—in 2012, 1.66 million of them. Up Your Score: SAT is the only guide written for students, by students. Filled with expert advice and proven strategies, it injects a feisty attitude into the dry business of test prep, fending off test anxiety with humor. Its four authors and guest editor achieved perfect or near-perfect scores and attended the colleges of their choice, and the book shows readers how they can do the same. Discover the eight core ways the test approaches math. Learn 600 key vocabulary words with proven tricks to make definitions memorable. Master the 13 most important grammar rules, and find out how to prepare your essay in advance. Plus, Up Your Score shows how to “psych out” the test. How to think like the SAT. The best ways to fill in answer circles and other strategies to save precious minutes. Tips for maintaining concentration. Why it’s always better to guess than to leave a question unanswered. And a recipe for energy-boosting Sweet & Tasty 800 Bars. Up Your Score is the inexpensive complement—and reality check—to the institutional tomes by Princeton Review and Kaplan. It’s the guerrilla guide that students recommend to each other—the only one kids actually want to use. But don’t take our word for it—check out these posts from Up Your Score’s Facebook page: “OMG, with this book, my second SAT score went up 220 points from my first score . . . thanks for the awesome tips. everyone should buy this book!:)” “Just bought the book for my SAT test . . . I’m already laughing and it’s making studying a little less terrible “I got a 1900 partly because of you guys, thank you SO much!”

The Imbible is the definitive guide to drinking games by Alex Bash, a recent college graduate, therefore an authority on the subject. What do you do when you wake up in an unfamiliar neighborhood hand-cuffed to a fire hydrant, clothed in nothing but socks and pink nail polish, your hand clutching a stained legal document...written in French? Celebrate! You just had a great night! And to think—it all started with The ImBible. This book contains all the drinking game classics, from Quarters to Kings, to today's newest, coolest, and most debauched drinking games, including Beer Roulette and The Lord of the Rings drinking game (every time a character draws a sword more slowly and cinematic than is pragmatic to do in the heat of the battle, drink). Containing original illustrations and more boob jokes than is necessary, this will truly be the bible of drinking games.