Ex Gay No Way

Bringing to light an extreme fundamentalist Christian view, this insider’s perspective offers hope to people grappling with the aftereffects of a cult-like movement often known as “Reparative Therapy.” The movement assumes that going from gay to straight is easily changeable and change-worthy, despite decades of psycho/sexual research to the contrary. Although it did not succeed in making the author—a Southern Baptist who attended an ex-gay ministry at a young age—straight, it did undermine his self-esteem and confuse him significantly, thus leading him to pursue an advanced degree in sexology in order to help others in similar positions. Offering a detailed comparison of the ex-gay world and the phenomenon known as Religious Abuse, this manual shares a personal journey through the hopeless mistreatment and manipulative system of ex-gay ministries and the recovery process involved in regaining strength, acceptance, and self-worth.

"The National Organization of Psychologists has spoken: "reparative therapy" is not only unnecessary, it is damaging to those who attempt and fail to change their sexuality. Yet "reparative therapy" and "ex-gay" groups abound, often creating in their members guilt, shame, addiction and even suicide. This wookbook is designed by people who have been damaged by such groups to help those still feeling the effects of their "ex-gay" experience- excellent for either group discussion or personal use."--Page 4 of cover.

Foreword INDIES Award Finalist IVP Readers' Choice Award In an age where neither society nor the church knows what to do with gay Christians, Greg Coles tells his own story. Let's make a deal, you and me. Let's make promises to each other. I promise to tell you my story. The whole story. I'll tell you about a boy in love with Jesus who, at the fateful onset of puberty, realized his sexual attractions were persistently and exclusively for other guys. I'll tell you how I lay on my bed in the middle of the night and whispered to myself the words I've whispered a thousand times since: "I'm gay." I'll show you the world through my eyes. I'll tell you what it's like to belong nowhere. To know that much of my Christian family will forever consider me unnatural, dangerous, because of something that feels as involuntary as my eye color. And to know that much of the LGBTQ community that shares my experience as a sexual minority will disagree with the way I've chosen to interpret the call of Jesus, believing I've bought into a tragic, archaic ritual of self-hatred. But I promise my story won't all be sadness and loneliness and struggle. I'll tell you good things too, hopeful things, funny things, like the time I accidentally came out to my best friend during his bachelor party. I'll tell you what it felt like the first time someone looked me in the eyes and said, "You are not a mistake." I'll tell you that joy and sorrow are not opposites, that my life has never been more beautiful than when it was most brokenhearted. If you'll listen, I promise I'll tell you everything, and you can decide for yourself what you want to believe about me.

In Be Not Deceived, Michelle Wolkomir explores the difficult dilemma that gay Christians face in their attempts to reconcile their religious and sexual identities. She introduces the ideologies and practices of two alternative and competing ministries that offer solutions for Christians who experience homosexual desire. Through careful analysis of the groups’ ideologies, interactions, and symbolic resources, Be Not Deceived goes far beyond the obvious differences between the ministries to uncover their similarities, namely that both continue to define heterosexuality as the normative and dominant lifestyle.

The real story behind “ex-gay” ministries and reparative therapy! Nationally known activist Wayne Besen spent four years examining the phenomenon of “ex-gay” ministries and reparative therapies—interviewing leaders, attending conferences, and visiting ministries undercover as he accumulated hundreds of hours of research. The result is Anything but Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth, a groundbreaking exposé of the controversial movement that's revered by independent religious groups and reviled by gay and lesbian organizations. The book presents a historical perspective on the dispute, examining “ex-gay” groups such as Love In Action, Exodus International, Homosexuals Anonymous, and profiling a cast of characters that includes Pat Robertson, the Rev. Jerry Falwell, “ex-gay” poster boy John Paulk, National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality activist Richard Cohen, and psychiatrist Dr. Robert Spitzer. An in-depth, well-researched, and historically significant account, Anything but Straight is full of startling facts and alarming surprises. The original content and novel material in the book includes: a first-ever comprehensive history of the “ex-gay” ministries and “reparative therapy” the inside story of the night the author photographed “ex-gay” poster boy John Paulk inside a gay bar the author's discovery that Anne Paulk lied about being a lesbian and has admitted to having a strong attraction to men BEFORE she became “ex-gay” previously undisclosed bizarre techniques used by the “ex-gay” ministries and “reparative therapists” the author's exclusive in-depth interviews with leading “ex-gay” leaders—they disclose their deepest secrets, hidden desires, and true motivations an extraordinary new study that shows that most “ex-gay” leaders have suffered from substance abuse or severe emotional problems—while many “ex-gay” leaders claim they were “unhappy being gay,” this report helps prove that their dissatisfactions came not from their homosexuality, but from poor life choices and irresponsible behavior new revelations that one of the nation's leading “reparative therapists” hailed from a secretive cult that was scandalized for practicing nude therapy From the author: Through my extensive experience, I have learned that the extraordinary claims made by the “ex-gay” groups are without merit and the efficacy of their programs is dubious at best and harmful at worst . . . One frequent question I get is, “Why can't gay activists simply leave 'ex-gay' groups alone and let them go about their business?” This is exactly what happened for nearly three decades while “ex-gay” groups labored in near anonymity. But all this recently changed when the “ex-gay” groups intricately aligned themselves with the anti-gay political agenda of the Religious Right. With “ex-gays” added to their arsenal, the Right could disingenuously claim to love gay people and offer them “hope for change,” while simultaneously fighting for punitive legislation. Their insidious message: Since gays and lesbians can change, there is no need for laws that protect them against arbitrary prejudice. Anything but Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth is an essential read for activists on both sides of the “ex-gay” fence, family members of gays and lesbians, Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian, and Transgender church members, psychiatric and social science professionals, and anyone who has dealt with “coming out” issues. An appendix of resources and a helpful bibliography make it easy to find additional information on this fascinating topic.

In sharing his own story of being a committed believer who struggled with same sex attraction early in his life, author, husband, and father Alan Chambers will help you understand the issues from the inside. And as the former president of the largest ex-gay ministry, Alan knows all the arguments, the concerns, the scriptures, and the heartaches. My Exodus encourages us to look for and affirm the image of God in everyone. It’s a reminder that God is still at work and deeply loves his creation. And it’s a book for everyone who wants to be welcoming and loving to all people without compromising their faith or their biblical theology. Through personal and powerful stories and opening the scriptures, you will come to understand how to love all people and positively engage our culture in the red hot conversations and topics surrounding LGBT and the Church Ultimately, My Exodus equips us all to be better and do better in God-honoring ways. By embracing the idea of loving well because we want to and not because we have to, we will find hope for ourselves, for the Church, and for our world.

Addresses some of the questions raised by Christians with same-sex attraction. As a Christian who experiences same-sex attraction, is it possible to live a life that's both faithful and fulfiling? Rachel Gilson wants to show you that it is and that it's not just a case of limping to the finish line, it's possible to run the race with joy. In this powerful and personal book, she describes her own unexpected journey of coming out and coming to faith... and what came next. As she does so, she addresses many of the questions that Christians living with same-sex attraction are wrestling with: Am I consigned to a life of loneliness? How do I navigate my friendships? Will my desires ever change? Is there some greater purpose to all this? What comes next, and next, and next? Drawing on insights from the Bible and the experiences of others, Born Again This Way provides assurance and encouragement for Christians with same-sex attraction, and paints a compelling picture of discipleship for every believer. Whatever your sexuality, this book is an inspiring testimony of how a life submitted to Jesus will be fulfilling and fruitful, but not always in the ways we might expect.

“I used to be a lesbian.” In Gay Girl, Good God, author Jackie Hill Perry shares her own story, offering practical tools that helped her in the process of finding wholeness. Jackie grew up fatherless and experienced gender confusion. She embraced masculinity and homosexuality with every fiber of her being. She knew that Christians had a lot to say about all of the above. But was she supposed to change herself? How was she supposed to stop loving women, when homosexuality felt more natural to her than heterosexuality ever could? At age nineteen, Jackie came face-to-face with what it meant to be made new. And not in a church, or through contact with Christians. God broke in and turned her heart toward Him right in her own bedroom in light of His gospel. Read in order to understand. Read in order to hope. Or read in order, like Jackie, to be made new.