Finding Love That Lasts

Everyone wants to be loved--to find someone who will stick with them through all of life's ups and downs, someone who is in it for the long haul. But in a world where dating is increasingly based on split-second decisions and geared toward casual relationships rather than marriage, it's easy for single people to feel discouraged, used, or unworthy of true love and lasting affection. Reality just never seems to match up with our (often wildly unrealistic) expectations. Jonathan "JP" Pokluda has counseled thousands of young singles through the pain and heartbreak of dating the world's way. Now he wants to dispel the myths, misconceptions, and fairy tales you've believed about dating and replace them with the truth from the One who invented marriage, created you to crave relationship, and is the very embodiment of true love. With plenty of true stories about relationships healed and love found, this practical book explains God's purposes for singleness, dating, and marriage and covers why you should date, who you should date, and how you should date. If you're ready to trade the world's way of dating for the way that actually works, it's time to begin dating well.

This book includes case histories from patients, volunteers from the general community and participants in personal growth groups offer insight into how to recognize and break negative relationship patterns and how to move forward to healthier and more rewarding relationships.

Every day, another Millennial becomes an adult. For many young people, the transition is a bumpy one, fraught with opportunities to make mistakes and bad choices. The clear expectations they had at home or in school are gone, and they may feel unprepared to face what comes next. But sometimes we make it harder than it has to be. Combining entertaining stories from his own experience, insights from the Bible, and compelling evidence from research, "JP" Pokluda lays out a roadmap for how to navigate life as an adult, addressing topics like - friendships and dating - career and money management - interpersonal conflict - controlling anxiety - recovering from addiction - and discovering your purpose on this earth Anyone struggling to find a footing in the world of adult life will welcome this witty, non-patronizing guide.

In Love That Lasts, New York Times bestselling author of Jesus > Religion Jefferson Bethke and his wife, Alyssa, expose the distorted views of love that permeate our culture and damage our hearts, minds, and souls. Drawing from Jeff’s “prodigal son” personal history and from Alyssa’s “True Love Waits” experience, the Bethkes point to a third and better way. Blending personal storytelling with biblical teaching, they offer readers an inspiring, realistic vision of love, dating, marriage, and sex. Young people today enter adulthood with expectations of blissful dating followed by a romantic, fulfilling marriage only to discover they’ve been duped. They learned about love and sexuality from social media, their friends, Disney fairy tales, pornography, or even their own rocky past, and they have no idea what healthy, lifelong love is supposed to be like. The results are often disastrous, with this generation becoming one of the most relationally sick, sexually addicted, and divorce ridden in history. Looking to God’s design while drawing lessons from their own successes and failures, the Bethkes explode the fictions and falsehoods of our current moment. One by one, they peel back lies such as, the belief that every person has only one soul mate, that marriage will complete you, and that pornography and hook-ups are harmless.

“Highly recommended for romantics of all stripes."—Library Journal, starred review Why isn’t real-life romance more like fiction? Patience Bloom asked herself this question, many times over. As a teen she fell in love with Harlequin novels and imagined her life would turn out just like their heroines: That shy guy she had a crush on would sweep her off her feet and turn out to be a rock star. Not exactly her reality, but Patience kept hoping. Years later she found her dream job, editing romances for Harlequin itself. Every day, her fantasies came true—on the page. Her dating life, however, remained uninspired. She nearly gave up hope. Then one day Patience got a real-life chance at romance, but Sam lived thousands of miles away. Was it worth the risk? Could love conquer all?

Am I with the right person? Will our love last? Men and women in love are haunted by these questions. Love -- especially why it blossoms in relationships and why it later dies -- is a mystery to them. Will Our Love Last? A Couple's Road Map solves this mystery by giving readers a new understanding of love -- an understanding they can actually use to evaluate the soundness of their relationships and to answer confidently the crucial questions that mystified them before. Based on hundreds of cases in his twenty-four years as a marital therapist and twenty-nine years in his own happy marriage, Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., explains how compatibility is the key to lasting love. He shows how compatibility on three major dimensions -- the Practical Dimension, the Sexual Dimension, and the Wavelength Dimension -- is essential to the mutual understanding and affirmation that keep love alive, and he leads readers through a simple but systematic procedure for assessing their compatibility with a romantic partner in these crucial relationship areas. Dr. Hamburg introduces a new technique, The Hand Rotation Exercise, to help readers express their degree of compatibility and then convey that visually to their partner. In addition, he presents two new original techniques for working through relationship conflicts and coming to agreement on difficult issues: His Way/Her Way and The Long Conversation. Written in a clear, direct style that is free of jargon, Will Our Love Last? empowers readers to make important relationship decisions that are intellectually and emotionally informed. Will Our Love Last? will help couples trying to decide if they should take the next step to a more committed relationship. It will aid individuals embarking on a new relationship, or who are between relationships, to evaluate the rightness of a new or prospective partner. And it will assist people who are already in committed relationships to make an honest assessment of their prospects for happiness with their current partner. People have it in their power to make sure that they truly are with the right person. Will Our Love Last? shows the way.

"A beautiful and brilliant reexamination of love and its perils."—Barbara Fisher, Boston Globe Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships—it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks. "Those who read this book will love more wisely because of it."—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon "[A] work on romance that is rich and multi-layered."—Publishers Weekly "Cheerful, open, and humane—you'd definitely have wanted him as your analyst."—Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times Book Review "[T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic."—JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com

"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today applies the insights of science toward understanding the real meaning of trust between a couple. He decodes the "why" behind betrayal and shows how partners can avoid or recover from unfaithfulness and maintain a loving relationship.Dr. John Gottman, the country's pre-eminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His thirty-five years of exploration have earned him numerous major awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray. A Love You Can Trust shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of--"sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. A Love You Can Trust guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will let them repair and maintain a long-term, intimate, and romantic relationship"--