From Resentment To Forgiveness

The Forgiving Life offers scientifically supported guidance to help people forgive those in their lives who have acted unfairly and have inflicted emotional hurt. It does not minimize the devastation of that hurt. It does not require reconciliation with the one who inflicted the hurt. Rather, it describes a process, followed with success by people around the world, to confront the pain, rise above it to forgive, and in so doing, to loosen the grip of depression, anger, and resentment that has soured life. In this book, noted forgiveness expert Robert D. Enright invites readers to learn the benefits of forgiveness and to embark on a path of forgiveness, leaving behind a legacy of love. Guided by thought-provoking questions, journaling exercises, and Enright’s kind encouragement, readers can chart their own journey through a new life of forgiveness.

A fascinating book about our struggle to forgive—and how we can—from a renowned psychologist and award-winning author. Why do we harden our hearts, even against those we want to love? Why do we find it so hard to admit being wrong? Why are the worst grudges the ones we hold against ourselves? When we nurse our resentments, Robert Karen says, we are acting from an insecure aspect of the self that harbors unresolved pain from childhood. But we also have a forgiving self which is not compliant or fake, but rather the strongest, most loving part of who we are. Through it, we are able to voice anger without doing damage, to acknowledge our own part in what has gone wrong, to see the flaws in ourselves and others as part of our humanity. Using movies, people in the news, and sessions from his practice, Karan illuminate how we can move beyond our feelings of being wronged without betraying our legitimate anger and need for repair. The forgiving self, when we are able to locate it, brings relief from compulsive self-hatred and bitterness, and allows for a re-emergence of love.

In this understanding and supportive guide, renowned writer, lecturer, and counselor Earnie Larsen lays out a new strategy for identifying and facing up to our underground reservoirs of resentment and rage and moving beyond them to forgiveness. Gently, patiently, he teaches us that we can learn how to reclaim the power that anger has over us, and restablish relationships and rebuild bridges that might have been burned--as we move forward toward a new serenity and understanding of ourselves, and the hidden needs that have kept us stuck and helpless.

By demonstrating how forgiveness, approached in the correct manner, benefits the forgiver far more than the forgiven this self-help book benefits people who have been deeply hurt by another and caught in a vortex of anger, depression, and resentment.

Anger is not just ubiquitous, it is also popular. Many people think it is impossible to care sufficiently for justice without anger at injustice. Many believe that it is impossible for individuals to vindicate their own self-respect or to move beyond an injury without anger. To not feel anger in those cases would be considered suspect. Is this how we should think about anger, or is anger above all a disease, deforming both the personal and the political? In this wide-ranging book, Martha C. Nussbaum, one of our leading public intellectuals, argues that anger is conceptually confused and normatively pernicious. It assumes that the suffering of the wrongdoer restores the thing that was damaged, and it betrays an all-too-lively interest in relative status and humiliation. Studying anger in intimate relationships, casual daily interactions, the workplace, the criminal justice system, and movements for social transformation, Nussbaum shows that anger's core ideas are both infantile and harmful. Is forgiveness the best way of transcending anger? Nussbaum examines different conceptions of this much-sentimentalized notion, both in the Jewish and Christian traditions and in secular morality. Some forms of forgiveness are ethically promising, she claims, but others are subtle allies of retribution: those that exact a performance of contrition and abasement as a condition of waiving angry feelings. In general, she argues, a spirit of generosity (combined, in some cases, with a reliance on impartial welfare-oriented legal institutions) is the best way to respond to injury. Applied to the personal and the political realms, Nussbaum's profoundly insightful and erudite view of anger and forgiveness puts both in a startling new light.

After Injury explores the practices of forgiveness, resentment, and apology in three key moments when they were undergoing a dramatic change. The three moments are early Christian history (for forgiveness), the shift from British eighteenth-century to Continental nineteenth-century philosophers (for resentment), and the moment in the 1950s postwar world in which British ordinary language philosophers and American sociologists of everyday life theorized what it means to express or perform an apology. The debates that arose in those key moments have largely defined our contemporary study of these practices.

Free yourself from anger, pain, and the past Have you ever felt betrayed, hurt, or wronged? Are you struggling to get over a nasty divorce, the death of a loved one, a shattered friendship, or broken family ties? This book will help you deal with conflicted emotions and find it in your heart to forgive. Written by Dr. Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang, an internationally known speaker on conflict resolution and trauma recovery, Finding Forgiveness offers a remarkably sensitive yet powerful approach to healing your heart, lifting your spirit, and finding the power to love, grow, and forgive. The 7 Steps Toward Forgiveness Clear your mind of negative thoughts that get in the way of your happiness. Uncover your feelings of bitterness, betrayal, victimization, and blame. Let go of your anger and move on with your life. Work through your guilt and learn to forgive yourself as well as others. Reframe the situation that hurt you and restore your faith in others. Absorb the pain of the past without the need for apologies or revenge. Gain inner peace through newfound compassion, understanding, and acceptance.