Happily Married With Kids

Happily Married With Kids shows what you can do to make your marriage better and grow closer to your spouse after the kids arrive. This book is engaging, fun and practical, and filled with easy-to-follow tips to help you learn how to: * GROW even closer with your spouse * LEARN to communicate, even to disagree affectionately * CREATE warm, loving, reliable support networks * BALANCE life, love, work and parenting * REJUVENATE your sex life * CELEBRATE your marriage as much as your kids Are you having less sex, less fun and more arguments than you did before kids? The arrival of a newborn puts a tremendous strain on even the best marriages. Happily Married With Kids has steps you can take to work toward a warm, loving relationship with your spouse that will last a lifetime.

When it first appeared in 1995, The Good Marriage became a best-seller. It offers timeless clues to the secret of happy, long-lasting marriages. Based on a groundbreaking study of fifty couples who consider themselves happily married, psychologist Judith Wallerstein presents the four basic types of marriage — romantic, rescue, companionate, and traditional — and identifies nine developmental tasks that must be successfully undertaken in a “good marriage” — separation from the family of origin, up-and-down vicissitudes of early years, children, balance of work and home, dealing with infidelities, and more. The men and women Wallerstein interviewed readily admit that even the best relationship requires hard work and continuing negotiation, especially in the midst of societal pressures that can tear marriages apart. But they also convey an inspirational message, for almost all of them feel that their marriage is their single greatest accomplishment. The Good Marriage explains why, and its lively mix of storytelling and analysis will challenge every couple to think in a profoundly different way about the most important relationship in their lives. “Should be required reading for all who are interested in marriage.” — W. Walter Menninger “Should prove a lifesaver for many couples.” — Publishers Weekly “Will enrich the sparse literature on happy marriages.” — USA Today “One of the nice things about The Good Marriage is its modesty. It doesn’t pretend to offer a philosophy or even a lecture on marriage. It takes no position on the ideologically charged issues of women’s marital roles and status. Equally important, it ignores the two most common ways of talking about marriage — as a contract negotiated between two equal parties and as the pathway to individual fulfillment. For this reason it is refreshingly free of ‘rights’ talk and therapy talk. Indeed, Wallerstein places much more emphasis on the development of good judgment and a moral sense than on the acquisition of effective communication or negotiation skills.” — Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, The Atlantic “A lagniappe to enduring couplehood... The strength of this study is that Ms. Wallerstein, a gifted interviewer, persuades the couples to reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.” — Susan Jacoby, The New York Times Book Review “Written in a masterful style that often reads like the best popular fiction... Wallerstein and Blakeslee again combine their substantial talents... deftly and entertainingly exploring the foundations of good marriages.” — Tara Aronson, San Francisco Examiner & Chronicle “Groundbreaking.” — Boston Globe “This is a wonderfully readable and immensely valuable book, full of wise and original insights about the many, many roads to marital happiness.” — Judith Viorst “With wisdom, humor, and sympathetic understanding, Judith Wallerstein helps us recognize and rediscover the good marriage... lucid, psychologically sophisticated, and generously wise.” — David Blankenhorn, Newsday “Historically informative as well as profoundly wise psychologically.” — Joan M. Erikson “For a long time, as a Rabbi, I’ve been using The Good Marriage, by the late Judith Wallerstein... in my pre-marital counseling. She provides... amazingly helpful insights [which] open up conversations and lead couples to think much more deeply about what they are getting themselves into — and what they might need to do to keep their marriages strong.” — Rabbi Carl M. Perkins “A welcome addition to the field of literature on contemporary marriage... The style [is] clear, concise, sensitive and, occasionally, personal. Her personal additions... add warmth, emotional consciousness, and greater insight into what makes individuals and couples happy in their relationships. This book has value for the many audiences interested in relational theory that want to approach relationships from a realistic and positive perspective.” — Nancy Williford, Clinical Social Work Journal “In The Good Marriage, Wallerstein’s new study of 50 married couples offers affirmation that the process of marriage itself presents a vehicle for transformation... A best-selling author, Wallerstein employs a thoughtful, nonaggressive style that appeals to the general public. Wallerstein has performed an invaluable service in The Good Marriage.” — Elizabeth M. Tully, M.D., Journal of Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry “Solid... impressive... Those interested in social policy should be pleased that so well-respected a liberal academic as Ms. Wallerstein has written a book that celebrates marriage and points the way toward restructuring it.” — Wall Street Journal “With extraordinary skill and compassion Wallerstein and Blakeslee take us inside the lives of fifty American couples and find that a good marriage still provides the best framework for enduring love and intimacy.” — Sylvia Ann Hewlett “A very appealing book... clearly written and clearly thought out.” — Library Journal “Wallerstein’s major contribution is not about how and why love lasts, but about how and why love develops. It is in such a context, less idyllic, but more realistic, that the book will prove to be a lasting contribution.” — Readings: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health

Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by: • maintaining intimacy and romance • replacing a culture of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation • preventing post-partum depression • creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby Complete with exercises that separate the “master” from the “disaster” couples, And Baby Makes Three helps new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy.

A marriage counselor and happily married mother of two explores why parenthood can sometimes wreak havoc on dreams of a happily ever after--and reveals what couples can do to make their marriages solid and satisfying.

According to American Demographics magazine, by the year 2010 the number of married couples without children is expected to increase by nearly 50%, to nearly 31 million. The non-profit organization, Childless By Choice, reports that one in seven married couples in the United States is consciously deciding not to have children. For more married couples than ever before, their life plan together does not include raising a family. Yet, as these numbers grow, in many ways society continues to frown on the choice not to have children. Although more couples are making this decision, they often feel misunderstood, and face societal misperceptions about themselves, their marriage, and their choice not to have children. Through candid interviews and photographs, Families of Two: Interviews with Happily Married Couples Without Children by Choice takes us into the lives of happily married couples without children by choice. It dispels the myths often associated with this choice, helps couples who are deciding whether to have children, and offers insight to friends and family of couples who have chosen or may choose not to have children. Families of Two expands our ways of understanding marriage in todays society, and gives examples of roadmaps for marriage without children. Families of Two celebrates the many people who are living lives that do not include parenthood, and the many ways to live happily ever after.

"Make Love Whenever Possible When Married With Children" is playful and poignant with spirited vignettes like "Seduce your spouse with humor," "Be a flasher," and "Experience the post-vasectomy sexual renaissance." Leslie Mancillas and Peg Melnik teamed up to write the book based on the following prescription program for staying sane within the madness of family life: 1. Be an opportunist. Make love whenever possible. 2. Date your spouse. Don't put off dating for two decades until your kids are conveniently in college. 3. Tend to your spouse. Even adults need to be nurtured. 4. Plan for chaos. 5. Become a top-flight negotiator. Marriage is one long, unwieldy negotiation. Keep closing the deal. 6. Keep close to your spirit. Find ways to nurture yourself. The co-authors firmly believe couples are living their most challenging years when they have children under their roof. Parents inhabit a different world than do those without children, one ruled by the needs of small people. The sheer responsibility that comes with parenthood can, over time, complicate even the healthiest marriage. While the divorce rate in America is at an astonishing 62 percent, staying happily married with children is not an insurmountable challenge as long as you realize it requires a kind of vigilance. It requires perspective, insight and, most importantly, the energy to keep a strong connection with your spouse. The authors use wisdom and wit to detail valuable tips drawn from their own experiences both positive and negative. The book is broken into six chapters, with a series of vignettes approximately one to three pages in length. Some of the more visual scenes from the book include playing hooky with your spouse, renewing marriage vows at Notre Dame and absent-mindedly driving to work with a plateful of cookies flying off the roof of the car, littering the road. Mancillas and Melnik's 100-page survival guide will no doubt be a compelling read, the best-selling bible for the married-with-kids crowd.

"Get this for your pregnant friends, or yourself" (People): a hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice. Recommended by Nicole Cliffe in Slate Featured in People Picks A Red Tricycle Best Baby and Toddler Parenting Book of the Year One of Mother magazine's favorite parenting books of the Year How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper? Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child. Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate -- and rebuild -- your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children. Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.

It's never too late to have a good divorce Based on two decades of groundbreaking research, The Good Divorce presents the surprising finding that in more than fifty percent of divorces couples end their marriages, yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children. The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that divorce inevitability leaves emotionally troubles children in its wake. It is a powerful tonic for the millions of divorcing and long-divorces parents who are tired of hearing only the damage reports. It will make us change the way we think about divorce and the way we divorce, reconfirming our commitment to children and families.