Have Jokes Will Travel

What is the one thing we have in common? We love to laugh! From the car that creates its own music out of thin air and a mass murderer appearing on Jeopardy to the strange way in which the hunt for Osama bin Ladin first began, Have Jokes, Will Travel has it all. Author James Alan Cason provides an entertaining collection of witticisms as he ponders every topic imaginable: I wonder what tooth fairies do with all those teeth. They probably sell them to old people. Wayne is a recruiter for McDonalds. High school guidance counselors provide him with the names of students who definitely have no future. Question: What's another name for the material used during cosmetic surgeries? Answer: Ugly-be-gone. I refuse to eat German Chocolate cake! I'm not eating anything that was baked by a Nazi. Nothing is off limits for Cason, so if you love to laugh, you're in luck. Sit back, take a break from reality and enjoy the comedy in Have Jokes, Will Travel.

"If I had my life to live over again, I wouldn't have time." -- Bob Hope The legendary wit and unmistakable voice of America's favorite showman are captured here in the master entertainer's memoir of his first fifty years in show business. From his one-night stands in vaudeville to countless performances for servicemen on U.S. military bases across the globe, this delightfully candid book of funny life stories is pure Hope. In his own words, Hope recalls his brief career as an amateur prizefighter; his flops and successes in vaudeville; memories of sharing the stage with Ethel Merman and Jimmy Durante; his courtship of the young singer who would become his bride; his forgettable first screen test; his friendship with Bing Crosby and their high jinks on the sets of the famous "Road" pictures; poignant and hair-raising trips to entertain the troops; a personal request from General Patton; and eighteen holes of golf with President Eisenhower. Bob Hope was the unchallenged king of the one-liner, a consummate performer, and a beloved supporter of our men in uniform, and his irrepressible spirit shines through in these hilarious, nostalgic, and truly memorable stories from a life lived to bring laughter to others.

Perfect for Families & Kids on the Go! Don't forget to pack this book for your next family vacation! Try Not to Laugh Challenge Joke Book, Vacation Edition has over 330 Punny Jokes, Silly Riddles & Funny Knock-knock Jokes for your Summer, Winter, Spring or Fall, Holiday Vacation! This Joke book will ProvideTons of Travel Fun and Laughter on all your Family Adventures! Perfect for Families & Kids on the Go! Don't forget to pack this book for your next family vacation! The Rules are Simple: Pick your team, or go one on one. Sit across from each other & make eye contact. Take turns reading jokes to each other. You can make silly faces, funny sound effects, etc. When your opponent laughs, you get a point! First team to win 3 points, WINS! If You're Laughing, You're Losing! (But you're having tons of fun!) Gopher it today. Rabbit up as a gift or Get One for Yourself Meow!

When fifty-eight-year-old Gabe Kaplan, perhaps best known for his performance in the title role of the popular seventies sitcom Welcome Back, Kotter, got an e-mail asking him to participate in a show called Celebrity Boxing, he couldn't resist the urge to have a little fun with the request. After exchanging a series of ludicrous e-mails with the show's talent coordinator in a mock-serious attempt at negotiation, Gabe was inspired to start a prank e-mail campaign. The result is this hilarious collection of correspondence. See how people react to Gabe Kaplan's absurd claims that he: * has slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain * is an expert at Cossack dancing * thinks he's smart enough to become a member of MENSA * wants his image on a U.S. postage stamp * would like NASA to send him into orbit with Jimmy Carter and Dr. J * and many more! Witty, irreverent, and ridiculously comical, Gabe's e-mails and the responses he receives are sure to entertain anyone with a taste for the surreal.

Here's Johnny is like sitting with Ed and Johnny over lunch: The last time I saw Johnny, about a year before he died, we had chicken, a couple of glasses of red wine, and then we just sat there and reminisced, going back and forth the way we did on the show. We talked about our kids, and our careers and the state of America, just two lucky guys who loved each other and the good luck of our careers. Ed McMahon is the only person who was with Johnny Carson, even before The Tonight Show, when they both first appeared on Who Do You Trust. Now, with Johnny's blessing before he died, McMahon can finally share all the stories that only he knows. From the sofa at Johnny's right, to backstage, to their personal relationship - McMahon will provide a real view of the man who was so careful to only show one side of himself to the public. Brilliant in front of the camera, but shy in person, Carson seldom gave interviews. Only McMahon can tell the stories and provide the insights into the personality that made Johnny Carson more of a friend we invited into our home than a television star. This entertaining tribute will feature over 200 pictures, many never before published, from both McMahon's and Carson's private archives.

Danny Gill was born and bred in the old slum tenements in Glasgow’s South Side. His years as a bricklayer took him half way round the world. His story recounts his travels, the ladies in his life and his fondness for a drink and tells of his life in Irish politics resulting in death threats against him. While building bricks in all sorts of weather, he also managed a more steady side to his life when he got married and had three daughters. After a career of 46 years, a combination of wear and tear coupled with the worst recession in living memory forced him into retirement but he never regrets a moment and now has more time to spend with his wonderful family and five grandchildren to date.

In this “fast-paced, tongue-in-cheek adventure” from New York Times–bestselling authors, best friends journey with a magical sword to save their kingdom (Publishers Weekly). It is strange enough that Odo and Eleanor have stumbled upon a sword in a dried-up river outside their village. It is even stranger that Odo is able to remove it from where it’s buried. And it’s remarkably strange when the sword starts to talk. Odo and Eleanor have unearthed Biter, a famous fighter from earlier times. By finding Biter, Odo instantly becomes a knight—a role he is exquisitely unsuited for. Eleanor, however, would make a perfect knight—but she’s not the one with the sword. Finding Biter is only the start—boy, girl, and sword must soon go on a quest to save their kingdom from threats in both human and dragon form, in this new fantasy triumph from Garth Nix and Sean Williams.