I Nearly Shit Myself 3

I Nearly Shit Myself 3, is a dark tale from Joe KING that will show you how sometimes it is better to stick with what you have, rather than risk it all. With profanity from the beginning, your sense of humour/humor will be pushed to its limits! When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As Joel’s drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself 3 is now being published as, The PLONKER with an alternative ending.

I Nearly Shit Myself #1. Do you believe in ghosts? Bill End doesn't, but as his first night back as a Security Guard, he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, but they are also out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible! I Nearly Shit Myself #2. A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack McKenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of the city, and they soon realise they will have to go down the sewers to find out what is killing all of them. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan! I Nearly Shit Myself #3. When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As his drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself #4. When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins! The, I Nearly Shit Myself, series are now being published under new titles with alternative endings.

A fun story packed with comedy/ horror, humour and a hugely different type of ghost, which will leave you looking down the toilet before you commit yourself, that is if your sense of humour is up to it! Do you believe in ghosts? Bill begins to think differently as his first night shift back as a Security Guard gets off to a bumpy start and he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, but they are also out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible during the Night Shift from hell. This book is now published as… Night Shift. Horror & Hilarity with a Banana Taste! This edition has an alternative ending.

I Nearly Shit Myself 4: Nature has a funny way of doing things sometimes, and it only takes a slight change in an Ecosystem and everything can go to pot. Take parasites for example, they have developed themselves over millions of years, and even use us humans for their own ends. Like the unassuming tapeworm. Their reproduction can be quite amazing and the lengths they will go to get what they want, and like all living things, the end goal is to reproduce and multiply, but when humans get involved, it generally does not end well! When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins! I Nearly Shit Myself, are a series of books that are written for the sole purpose of humour, but not just any old humour. This series of books are aimed at readers with a warped and twisted sense of humour/humor. You have been warned. PG 18.

I Nearly Shit Myself 2, is a comedy/horror story with a strange type of entity, which will leave you looking down the toilet before you commit yourself, that is if your sense of humour is up to it! This fun detective story from Joe KING, has plenty of humour/humor to give you something quite different to read! A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack McKenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of the city, and they soon realise they will have to go down the sewers to find out what is killing all of them. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan!

When Zoe Read decides that having sex in the local woodlands was a good idea to lift her relationships ailing sex life, little did she realise that she was being watched. This watcher, though, was no ordinary voyeur. The shadow figure she sees while having her fun is going to change her life beyond her wildest dreams. The shadow figure, a dark malevolent featureless outline of a human, has been tracking her. Waiting, and timing the arrival to this very moment in Zoe’s life. The future is coming. A future that has set the Earth as Zoe knows it on its extinction day. Many things have been going wrong with society. Many things that the Others believe they can change for the better of humanity, but not humanity for the good of all. A humanity that is set to realign a path that has now been broken. John Oaks has discovered a signal from a rogue satellite. His life is one of paranormal investigations and so far, he has found nothing more interesting that a plume of smoke he believes is a visitation from another world. The signal he had discovered will be way beyond his comprehension as his investigation takes on a new level of understanding as the military takes over what he thought was something he had control over. Sergeant, and a professor, Sam Steel is head of the investigation team for the military, as John soon discovers when he is kidnapped. Their connections are strong, and they somehow know each other but not of this timeline, a timeline they know they must have been linked together somehow. With a new understanding and the seriousness of what he learns, his life also spirals out of this world to become another cog in the machine of the universe. A portal so advanced becomes his nemesis and his best friend as the team he has now assigned to discover how far the Others will go to retain the path the Earth is set to follow. Some things in life are meant to be discovered. Other things, well…knowing when to walk away is not so easy when you are a human of form! With timelines interfering with the Earth’s destiny and the Others racing to undo all that has been set in motion, an Earth end date is looming, and a race begins to save the planet and the billions of lives that are set to be destroyed in this science fiction thriller.

The PLONKER is a dark tale from Joe KING that will show you how sometimes it is better to stick with what you have, rather than risk it all. With profanity from the beginning, your sense of humour/humor will be pushed to its limits! When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As Joel’s drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending!

As this epic Sci fi concludes, Ava has finally discovered how to correct all her mistakes, but like everything she is learning about humans, they never do as she predicts. Liev Malik is the only one who can change the past to recover a possible future. Time again is running out to stop the planet from regressing into anarchy. With each Nexus point returned to, a new wave of destruction threatens all life on Earth. Nova, the nemesis Ava must destroy, is also learning and planning to preserve her own self inside the invisible world she resides in. But not for the greater good of the human species, she wants the world for herself. As Liev Malik's life gets turned inside out, and Ava trying to figure out how to reverse all that the Earth has gone through, Liev Malik is once again called upon to rid the planet of those that have wrought havoc as his role is made clear. Kill, with no remorse for those select few that believe their own interests are greater than the masses. Ava must leave no traces of her existence behind but falling in love is something she had never planned for and doubts emerge on what she must do. Wrestling with her own emotions, there was only ever one real choice, but other people with their own ideas trying to stop her, the utopian nexus she must find was never going to be easy but leaving Rebecca will be the hardest thing she has ever had to do.