Living Your Unlived Life

The esteemed Jungian psychologist counsels on how to cope with feelings of failure or regret in the latter half of life and how to open to a more meaningful existence, even if outer circumstances cannot be changed. In Living Your Unlived Life, the renowned therapist Robert A. Johnson, writing with longtime collaborator and fellow Jungian psychologist Jerry M. Ruhl, offers a simple but transformative premise: Our abandoned, unrealized, or underdeveloped talents, when they are not fully integrated into our lives, can become profoundly troublesome in midlife, leading us to depression, suddenly hating our spouses, our jobs, or even our lives. When our unlived lives are brought to consciousness, however, they can become the fuel that can propel us beyond our limitations?even if our outer circumstances cannot always be visibly altered.

From the leading psychoanalyst Adam Phillips comes Missing Out, a transformative book about the lives we wish we had and what they can teach us about who we are All of us lead two parallel lives: the one we are actively living, and the one we feel we should have had or might yet have. As hard as we try to exist in the moment, the unlived life is an inescapable presence, a shadow at our heels. And this itself can become the story of our lives: an elegy to unmet needs and sacrificed desires. We become haunted by the myth of our own potential, of what we have in ourselves to be or to do. And this can make of our lives a perpetual falling-short. But what happens if we remove the idea of failure from the equation? With his flair for graceful paradox, the acclaimed psychoanalyst Adam Phillips suggests that if we accept frustration as a way of outlining what we really want, satisfaction suddenly becomes possible. To crave a life without frustration is to crave a life without the potential to identify and accomplish our desires. In this elegant, compassionate, and absorbing book, Phillips draws deeply on his own clinical experience as well as on the works of Shakespeare and Freud, of D. W. Winnicott and William James, to suggest that frustration, not getting it, and and getting away with it are all chapters in our unlived lives—and may be essential to the one fully lived.

The author and psychotherapist shares her journey of illness and recovery in this inspiring guide to living your life to the fullest. In I Will Not Die an Unlived Life, Dawna Markova recounts her incredible journey from being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness to finding deeper meaning in her life. Along the way, she guides readers toward discovering their own sense of value and purpose. When we feel lost, Markova points out, we can either continue to live habitual lives and resign our strength—or we can choose to follow our passions. Many of us have times of feeling stagnant and sapped of energy. Rather than judging these moments negatively, Dr. Markova reframes them as periods of rest for our passions. In doing so, she challenges us to slow down and stay in touch with ourselves. Poetic and inspiring, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life is a powerful reminder that it is never too late to live your life.

A captivating book about the emotional and literary power of the lives we might have lived had our chances or choices been different. We each live one life, formed by paths taken and untaken. Choosing a job, getting married, deciding on a place to live or whether to have children—every decision precludes another. But what if you’d gone the other way? It can be a seductive thought, even a haunting one. Andrew H. Miller illuminates this theme of modern culture: the allure of the alternate self. From Robert Frost to Sharon Olds, Virginia Woolf to Ian McEwan, Jane Hirshfield to Carl Dennis, storytellers of every stripe write of the lives we didn’t have. What forces encourage us to think this way about ourselves, and to identify with fictional and poetic voices speaking from the shadows of what might have been? Not only poets and novelists, but psychologists and philosophers have much to say on this question. Miller finds wisdom in all these sources, revealing the beauty, the power, and the struggle of our unled lives. In an elegant and provocative rumination, he lingers with other selves, listening to what they say. Peering down the path not taken can be frightening, but it has its rewards. On Not Being Someone Else offers the balm that when we confront our imaginary selves, we discover who we are.

What does it really mean to be a grown up in today’s world? We assume that once we “get it together” with the right job, marry the right person, have children, and buy a home, all is settled and well. But adulthood presents varying levels of growth, and is rarely the respite of stability we expected. Turbulent emotional shifts can take place anywhere between the age of thirty-five and seventy when we question the choices we’ve made, realize our limitations, and feel stuck— commonly known as the “midlife crisis.” Jungian psycho-analyst James Hollis believes it is only in the second half of life that we can truly come to know who we are and thus create a life that has meaning. In Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life, Hollis explores the ways we can grow and evolve to fully become ourselves when the traditional roles of adulthood aren’t quite working for us, revealing a new way of uncovering and embracing our authentic selves. Offering wisdom to anyone facing a career that no longer seems fulfilling, a long-term relationship that has shifted, or family transitions that raise issues of aging and mortality, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life provides a reassuring message and a crucial bridge across this critical passage of adult development.

Analyst and author Ann Belford Ulanov draws on her years of clinical work and reflection to make the point that madness and creativity share a kinship, an insight that shakes both analysand and analyst to the core, reminding us as it does that the suffering places of the human psyche are inextricably—and, often inexplicably—related to the fountains of creativity, service, and even genius. She poses disturbing questions: How do we depend on order, when chaos is a necessary part of existence? What are we to make of evil—both that surrounding us and that within us? Is there a myth of meaning that can contain all the differences that threaten to shatter us? Ulanov’s insights unfold in conversation with themes in Jung’s Red Book which, according to Jung, present the most important experiences of his life, themes he explicated in his subsequent theories. In words and paintings Jung displays his psychic encounters from1913–1928, describing them as inner images that “burst forth from the unconscious and flooded me like an enigmatic stream and threatened to break me.” Responding to some of Jung’s more fantastic encounters as he illustrated them, Ulanov suggests that our problems and compulsions may show us the path our creativity should take. With Jung she asserts that the multiplicities within and around us are, paradoxically, pieces of a greater whole that can provide healing and unity as, in her words, “every part of us and of our world gets a seat at the table.” Taken from Ulanov’s addresses at the 2012 Fay Lectures in Analytical Psychology, Madness and Creativity stands as a carefully crafted presentation, with many clinical examples of human courage and fulfillment.

Provides an illuminating explanation of the origins and meaning of romantic love and shows how a proper understanding of its psychological dynamics can revitalize our most important relationships.

To put it very simply, Dawna Markova is a teacher. A Ph.D. educator, she travels the world working with schools, Fortune 500 companies, and individuals. While coaching people on systems thinking and how to revolutionize the way children are taught, she also teaches people the most important lesson anyone can ever learn -- how to listen to one's own heart and how to live with heart and mind wide open to all life's possibilities. Wide Open is the gift of Dawna's wisdom, wrapped up in gorgeous photos. In thirty luminous lessons and passages, Markova encourages us to learn from our wounds, find our gifts, celebrate our values, and live our dreams -- to live on purpose and with passion. Twenty years ago, Dawna Markova discovered these eternal truths when she faced a life-threatening illness and began a journey of rediscovery. This book follows her path to finding deeper meaning in life. "In a similar way to A Gift from the Sea, the readers of this book are invited to accompany me on a journey to come to know more intimately the value and purpose of their lives."