Making Amends

Did you know there are hidden rewards to making amends? Without a willingness to experience our painful feelings, we can never grow and mature into the person we'd like to be. We can never reach our potential. We can never become our true-self. To grow, we must stay in close contact with our experience, whatever it is. We need to stay in close contact with how we behaved in our relationships in order to make a thorough list of those we have harmed. We must face the wrongs we have done without running away from the truth. If we were rigorously honest with ourselves while making the list of people we had harmed, we probably felt one or more of the following feelings: anxiety, shame, discomfort, or guilt. This is exactly what we were suppose to feel. We were learning that we don't have to feel comfortable to be OK. In fact, another hidden reward is that the more willing we are to feel uncomfortable the more comfortable we become. Yes, another paradox! One of the many hidden rewards in working Steps 8,9, and 10 is to stay in close contact with our experience so we can learn from it. This self-understanding is at the heart of self-forgiveness and emotional recovery. --Excerpted from 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends

It is often assumed that wrongdoing can only be resolved through punishment or forgiveness. But this book explores the responses that wrongdoers can and should make to their own misdeeds, responses such as apology, repentance, reparations, and self-punishment. It examines the possibility of atonement in a broad spectrum of contexts -- from cases of relatively minor wrongs in personal relationships, to crimes, to the historical injustices of our political and religious communities. It argues that wrongdoers often have the ability to earn redemption within the moral community, that respect and trust among victims, communities and wrongdoers can be rebuilt, and that the moral responsibility of wrongdoing groups can be addressed without treating their members unfairly.

Reparation, or making amends, is an ancient theme in criminal justice. It was revived in both Europe and North America in the 1980s as a practical alternative both to retributivism, and to the various utilitarian projects traditionally associated with retributive justice.Making Amends examines the practice of these schemes in the UK, USA, and Germany, and shows how criminal justice institutions were unresponsive to these attempts to cast justice in a new form. Yet the experiments reflected an abiding dissatisfaction with criminal courts and with the manner in which justice is conceived and expressed within the criminal framework. The authors' conclusions therefore have implications for the workings of the criminal justice system as a whole.

Winner NATIONAL JEWISH BOOK AWARDS in Contemporary Jewish Life & Practice Myra H. Kraft Memorial Award A crucial new lens on repentance, atonement, forgiveness, and repair from harm—from personal transgressions to our culture’s most painful and unresolved issues American culture focuses on letting go of grudges and redemption narratives instead of the perpetrator’s obligations or recompense for harmed parties. As survivor communities have pointed out, these emphases have too often only caused more harm. But Danya Ruttenberg knew there was a better model, rooted in the work of the medieval philosopher Maimonides. For Maimonides, upon whose work Ruttenberg elaborates, forgiveness is much less important than the repair work to which the person who caused harm is obligated. The word traditionally translated as repentance really means something more like return, and in this book, returning is a restoration, as much as is possible, to the victim, and, for the perpetrator of harm, a coming back, in humility and intentionality, to behaving as the person we might like to believe we are. Maimonides laid out 5 steps: naming and owning harm; starting to change/transformation; restitution and accepting consequences; apology; and making different choices. Applying this lens to both our personal relationships and some of the most significant and painful issues of our day, including systemic racism and the legacy of enslavement, sexual violence and harassment in the wake of #MeToo, and Native American land rights, On Repentance and Repair helps us envision a way forward. Rooted in traditional Jewish concepts while doggedly accessible and available to people from any, or no, religious background, On Repentance and Repair is a book for anyone who cares about creating a country and culture that is more whole than the one in which we live, and for anyone who has been hurt or who is struggling to take responsibility for their mistakes.

Twelve Steps to recovery.

A 75th anniversary e-book version of the most important and practical self-help book ever written, Alcoholics Anonymous. Here is a special deluxe edition of a book that has changed millions of lives and launched the modern recovery movement: Alcoholics Anonymous. This edition not only reproduces the original 1939 text of Alcoholics Anonymous, but as a special bonus features the complete 1941 Saturday Evening Post article “Alcoholics Anonymous” by journalist Jack Alexander, which, at the time, did as much as the book itself to introduce millions of seekers to AA’s program. Alcoholics Anonymous has touched and transformed myriad lives, and finally appears in a volume that honors its posterity and impact.

Volume Two of one of our most popular books. Sober AA members describe the positive transformations sobriety can bring as they practice the principles of the program in all aspects of their lives.

We find our way forward by going back. The invented history of the Western world is crumbling fast, Anishinaabe writer Patty Krawec says, but we can still honor the bonds between us. Settlers dominated and divided, but Indigenous peoples won't just send them all "home." Weaving her own story with the story of her ancestors and with the broader themes of creation, replacement, and disappearance, Krawec helps readers see settler colonialism through the eyes of an Indigenous writer. Settler colonialism tried to force us into one particular way of living, but the old ways of kinship can help us imagine a different future. Krawec asks, What would it look like to remember that we are all related? How might we become better relatives to the land, to one another, and to Indigenous movements for solidarity? Braiding together historical, scientific, and cultural analysis, Indigenous ways of knowing, and the vivid threads of communal memory, Krawec crafts a stunning, forceful call to "unforget" our history. This remarkable sojourn through Native and settler history, myth, identity, and spirituality helps us retrace our steps and pick up what was lost along the way: chances to honor rather than violate treaties, to see the land as a relative rather than a resource, and to unravel the history we have been taught.