Miss Manners Rescues Civilization

In an era of American history that has shown a heightened sensitivity toward the ideals of democracy, self-expression, freedom, and individual rights, we are paradoxically experiencing a breakdown in our nation's ability to function as a civil people. From athletes who shout obscenities on national television to surgeons who blast their favorite music while operating, from gang members who kill those who've "dissed" them to mourners who treat funerals casually, we trample over the rights of others in a savage pursuit of individual agendas. We have cashed in etiquette (yes, the "E word") for a generous helping of self-importance, and the exchange is crippling our ability to function as a civil society. In her ground-breaking new book, MISS MANNERS RESCUES CIVILIZATION: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing and Other Lapses in Civility, Judith Martin puts etiquette on the public agenda in response to our nation's cry for a return to civility. A thought-provoking book that calls on etiquette to champion the quest for civil decency, MISS MANNERS RESCUES CIVILIZATION discusses the futility of using the law to correct our ever-increasing list of societal offenses cluttering the courts and declaring new laws has proved to be both costly and ineffective. However, a rebirth of good manners places the privileges and challenges of a civil society back where it belongs in the hands of the individual. This witty, thoughtful, and timely book responds to the public cry for a return to civility and puts etiquette on an equal plane with morality as society's most powerful guiding force.

She shows the crucial role of etiquette in such contemporary issues as political correctness, multiculturalism, sexual harassment, educational failure and freedom of speech.

An indispensable manual to navigating life from birth to death without making a false move. Your neighbor denounces cellular telephones as instruments of the devil. Your niece swears that no one expects thank-you letters anymore. Your father-in-law insists that married women have to take their husbands' names. Your guests plead that asking them to commit themselves to attending your party ruins the spontaneity. Who is right? Miss Manners, of course. With all those amateurs issuing unauthorized etiquette pronouncements, aren't you glad that there is a gold standard to consult about what has really changed and what has not? The freshly updated version of the classic bestseller includes the latest letters, essays, and illustrations, along with the laugh-out-loud wisdom of Miss Manners as she meets the new millennium of American misbehavior head-on. This wickedly witty guide rules on the challenges brought about by our ever-evolving society, once again proving that etiquette, far from being an optional extra, is the essential currency of a civilized world.

For those citizens clamoring for a return to civility, Miss Manners has revised, edited, and updated her most authoritative work on how to behave like a decent member of society. Line drawings.

“Both a sad and hilarious commentary on the state of the modern workplace.”—New York Times What do your colleagues, overlords, underlings, clients, and customers have in common? Not knowing how much they annoy you. Not to mention how much you may be annoying them. The route from cubicle to corner office is strewn with etiquette landmines. And now that the boundaries that once cleanly separated work from personal life are blurred, even polite people don’t recognize the difference between professional and social manners. What do you say to a colleague who has just been fired? How do you maintain a family-friendly office without discriminating against singles? What’s the difference between showing romantic interest and sexual harassment? Which colleagues should be invited to family weddings? When should you be unavailable, at or away from work? Don’t convene a focus group or appeal to Human Resources—consult Miss Manners! With wit and wisdom, Miss Manners restores civility, guiding you around your coworker’s messy cubicle, past your overly prying boss, around the bridal shower for the new temp, and through tedious staff meetings. In Miss Manners Minds Your Business, Judith Martin and her son, executive Nicholas Ivor Martin, equip readers with the practical, pertinent, and utterly correct advice necessary to win the job, keep the job, and leave the job with sanity and dignity intact.

Bride and mother-of-the-bride rebel against today’s monster weddings and explain how weddings can be charming, affordable—and excruciatingly correct. Today’s brides are bombarded with wedding advice that promises perfection but urges achieving it through selfishness (“It’s your wedding, and you can do whatever you like”), greed (choosing the presents that guests are directed to buy), and showing off (“This is your chance to show everyone what you’re about”). Couples wishing to resist such pressure see elopement or a slapdash wedding as the only alternatives to a gaudy blowout. But none of these choices appealed to a bride who happened to have been brought up by Miss Manners. Judith Martin and her newlywed daughter, Jacobina, explain how to have a dignified ceremony and delightful celebration without succumbing to the now-prevalent pattern of the vulgar, money-draining wedding that exhausts families and exploits friends.

America's leading civility expert knocks household discourteousness off its foundations. As the rudeness rampant in America's streets sends its citizens fleeing inside to bolt the doors and draw the shades, they are finding what was once the relative safety of the hearth threatened by an unwelcome addition to their living space--the same rudeness presumably left behind when they stepped across their own cozy thresholds. With the keen wit and insight that distinguishes her column and previous books, Judith Martin's newest work equips residences everywhere with the tools to return manners to domestic life. Refusing to recognize that the harried household cannot meet her standards of propriety--especially since all households are now harried--Miss Manners explains how this is done. Whether your family is nuclear, blended, extended, or unrelated; whether you are single, divorced, living together, or married; at a family dinner or dinner party; engaged in combat with the neighbors or with the relatives--there is simply no substitute for the core of civility that must reside at the heart of every house, condo or apartment if it is truly to be a home. Miss Manners is prepared to sweep through your house and get rid of those lurking traces of rudeness that you were pretending not to notice. You know you are not going to be able to enjoy a pleasant and peaceful household until these few chores are done. Table of Contents Chapter One--The People Allotting due space and respect to parents, children, roommates, relatives--and whoever those other people are whom one of them must have brought home Chapter Two--The Place Making use of the rooms instead of turning them into a mess or a museum, while everybody huddles upstairs Chapter Three--The Rules Negotiating compromises without having to leave home for Domestic Dispute Court Chapter Four--The System Keeping track of where everybody is, where they are supposed to be, and what they are supposed to be doing (if they remember) Chapter Five--The Help Getting the housework done when you can't complain about the Servant Problem--because theservants are you and the people in the phone book who may be there sometime today Chapter Six--The Visitors Offering hospitality without surrendering your privacy or your resources to the thankless Chapter Seven--Entertaining: The Social Contract Reviving the art of not-for-profit entertaining to make friends who will love you for yourself Chapter Eight--Entertaining: The Social Event Learning to give a variety of parties, formal and informal--because it beats staying home alone watching TV Chapter Nine--Entertaining: The Relatives Kindling warm memories rather than heated conflict at family occasions Chapter Ten--The Community Being pleasant enough to the neighbors so you're not afraid to walk out your own front door

Traces the history of American manners, citing the nation's early stand against hierarchical European etiquette, and describing its adoption of a frequently misunderstood egalitarian respect system.