My Two Holidays

When Sam's classmates talk about which winter holiday each one celebrates, he gets embarrassed because his family enjoys both Christmas and Hanukkah.

For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece. When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list . . . well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: • You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze • Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out? • Why You Won’t Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year. Praise for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat “Mann’s writing has transcended from witty anecdotes and complaints to notable satire. Hidden among the many laugh-out-loud zingers are lessons on how we relate to each other, and how ridiculous parenting culture has become.”—Associated Press “Following the success of her first book, she is now punching throats at holidays, starting from her being age two and continuing to the present, where she is a harried mother bemoaning not just Christmas but all holidays. . . . Harried holiday haters will chuckle and perhaps see themselves somewhere in Mann’s lifetime dislike of and misbehavior during America’s increasingly commercialized celebrations.”—Booklist “The cure for my cold holiday spirit this year is the sidesplitting new book by Jen Mann. . . . Mann delivers her signature punch lines and sharp critique on the oftentimes ridiculous shenanigans of the modern family. Her ability to make an otherwise boring subject come alive with colorful personalities, biting sarcasm, and impressively astute observations on suburban culture is what makes Mann so much fun to read and so easy to relate to.”—The Huffington Post “A lighthearted, laugh-out-loud book . . . with a feel of peeking into a diary.”—Mommy’s Memorandum “It really does make you laugh out loud.”—Shooting Stars Mag “A quick and delightful read that you can sneak in right before bed or when the kids are finally napping.”—FangirlNation “Grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and enjoy Jen’s latest collection of humorous rants dissecting the ‘most wonderful time’ of the year. She unleashes her biting wit and hilarious opinions on everything from cookie exchanges to annual humblebrag Christmas letters from overachieving moms to horrifying Christmases of her childhood.”—Creating Serenity “[Mann] has really mastered the short story format. . . . She packs the maximum amount of funny into the fewest words, and many of these essays are downright hilarious. . . . If you’ve read and liked her other books, you will definitely want to read this one, too.”—Bug Bug Book Reviews

Jacqueline Wilson's Happy Holidays is the perfect summer read for any fan! Don’t just spend your summer holiday with just one pal from Jacqueline Wilson’s world, hang out with a whole bunch of them! As well as puzzles, fun facts and activities this bumper book also features short stories from: Tracy Beaker Hetty Feather Beauty (from Cookie) Gemma (from Best Friends) Lily (from Lily Alone) Plus a holiday adventure with Tim and Biscuits from Cliffhanger! Whether you’re spending the day making sandcastles on the beach, or spending all your pocket money in the seafront arcades, it’s going to be an amazing summer with Jacqueline Wilson!

A young African American boy reflects on the spirit of Christmas and thinks of ways he can behave in more caring ways and share what he has with others.

Celebrate the Jewish holidays all year round in this acclaimed picture book! Here is the world, ever changing and new, Spinning with joy at the wonder of you! Here Is the World is a joyous celebration of the Jewish holidays throughout the year for young children. Beginning with the weekly observance of Shabbat, readers join a family through the holidays and the corresponding seasons. From sounding the shofar on Rosh Hashanah to lighting the menorah for Chanukah to rattling a grogger for Purim, and on through the Jewish year, the joy and significance of each holiday beautifully come to life. Back matter includes a description of each holiday and easy crafts and recipes for every season!

Twenty-five years ago, Dr. Brian Wallace and Belle Colby were married with two sets of twins--toddler boys and infant girls. Then the young family was torn apart. Each took a girl and boy and went their separate ways--never to see one another again. Brian is stunned to return home from a mission to find all the siblings reunited at their mother's Texas ranch. He has never forgotten Belle or how much he loved her. Will unanswered questions stand in the way of this family finding their long-awaited second chance?

David Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favoritesas the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the difficulties of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves"); what to do when you've been locked out in a snowstorm ("Let It Snow"); the puzzling Christmas traditions of other nations ("Six to Eight Black Men"); what Halloween at the medical examiner's looks like ("The Monster Mash"); and a barnyard secret Santa scheme gone awry ("Cow and Turkey"). No matter what your favorite holiday, you won't want to miss celebrating it with the author who has been called "one of the funniest writers alive" (Economist).

'A splendid romp. Vive la France!' Peter Mayle, author of 'A Year in Provence' and many other bestsellers 'Mike Buchanan is the best kind of opinionated, middle-aged, middle-class Englishman abroad: the funny kind.' Andy Heslop 'If you have a sense of humour, this book will put a big smile on your face. I laughed out loud many times. A refreshing absence of political correctness.' The lovely Maureen Padley Political correctness is a curse of the modern era. This book is not politically correct. And it celebrates la belle France: the beautiful ladies, the fine food and wine, the glorious scenery and weather, and more besides. If you're offended by the book's contents, kindly moan about it to someone else, not the author. He's had more than his fill of being moaned at over the years. Mike Buchanan is a 50-year-old overweight diabetic short-sighted businessman and published author, who lives in Bedford. He's been a Francophile for as long as he can remember, and is rarely happier than when holidaying in France. In August 2007, following the breakdown of his second marriage, he took a holiday in France with his chauffeur, the (equally) politically-incorrect Thunderin' Paul Carrington. The two men enjoyed themselves so much that they took a second holiday in France in July 2008. This book relates the story of both holidays, in chapters with the following titles: 1 Our first week with Anne and Mark Phillips 2 Why my dinner cost 40 times more than Paul's 3 Hobnobbing with Ivana Trump in Monte Carlo 4 'Would you like to have sex with my wife?' 5 We witness a miracle in Lourdes 6 In defence of pate de foie gras 7 Paul worries about becoming a gay icon 8 Nuits-St-Georges is twinned with Hitchin 9 'It's always better if you have a big one!'