Never Do Anything Ever Dear Dumb Diary 4

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be.Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her?

Jamie Kelly writes in her diary about her search for inner beauty, her fund raising efforts for the Juvenile Optometry Federation, and her practice strategy for the Jump-Rope-A-Thon.

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be- named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on . . . Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World). Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be.Dear Dumb Diary,My social studies teacher, Mr. VanDoy, never smiles. I know that's hard to believe, because everybody smiles about something, right?Isabella smiles when her brothers get in trouble. Angeline smiles when she thinks about how much prettier she is than, like, a waterfall or a unicorn. I smile when I think about a unicorn kicking Angeline over a waterfall. But Mr. VanDoy doesn't smile at all. I wonder if when you become an adult, you can lose your sense of humor the way you lose your teeth or hair or fashion sense.

Middle schooler Jamie Kelly returns with another dumb diary: “You’ll laugh out loud at what this girl has to say.” —Knight Ridder Tribune Dear Dumb Diary, I went five whole days without seeing or hearing from Angeline. I was beginning to get used to it. It’s true that I have learned to overlook many of Angeline’s flaws, like her flawlessness, but she can still be difficult to be around. Like when she’s lit perfectly, for example. To my extreme credit, I have learned to pretend to ignore Angeline’s failure to not be perfect. Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don’t tell her . . . Praise for New York Times–bestselling author Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

Return to Mackerel Middle School with a special full-color extra-dumb diary from the New York Times–bestselling author! Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever—but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she’s come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They’re going to be rich! The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat. Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, “She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and—forget it. I’m hungry. I want some cookies.” This is sure to go well. Praise for Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.Dear Dumb Diary,So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker's puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn't live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy.

Jamie contends with Angeline, the school's most irritatingly perfect girl and the impending visit of her troll-like little cousin. Will Jamie survive? Will she go mad?