Overcoming Child Abuse

The traumatic affects of childhood sexual abuse can remain and recur throughout life for women who have not healed emotionally. This book by a family therapist shares stories from 18 women abused as children, explaining that healing can occur at any stage of life, and that healing, itself, occurs in stages. The author offers guidance to recognize the long-lingering potential affects of childhood sexual abuse including depression, anxiety, dissociation, and chronic shock, and she explains steps to take for recovery. Also presented are letters from women who have healed or are in recovery. Sexual abuse by men, juveniles, and female perpetrators is discussed, as is how children may act out the abusive behavior taught by perpetrators. The incidence of abuse by family members is also addressed. Duncan explains the dual dilemma—moral and legal—that women face in exposing a sexual perpetrator within the family when not protected by the legal system due to statutes of limitations. She also discusses controversial topics including false memory and disclosure of memory to the perpetrator.

“Anyone who had a troubled childhood ought to read this book.”—Anne H. Cohn, D.P.H., Executive Director, National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse Do you have trouble finding friends, lovers, acquaintances? Once you find them, do they dump on you, take advantage of you, or leave? Are you in a relationship you know isn't good for you? Are you still trying to figure out what you want to do when you grow up? Are you drinking too much, eating too much or trying to numb your pain with drugs of any kind? These are just a few of the problems abused children experience when they become adults. You may not realize you were abused. You may think your parents didn't mean it, didn't know better, or that others had it much worse. You may not even have made the connection between the past and your current problems. Outgrowing the Pain is an important book for any adult who was abused or neglected in childhood. It's an important book for professionals who help others. It's a book of questions that can pinpoint and illuminate destructive patterns. The answers you discover can lead to a life filled with new insight, hope, and love. “The best book available to help survivors cope and understand.”—Dan Sexton, Director, Childhelp's National Abuse Hotline “An invaluable aid for adult survivors of child abuse.”—Suzanne M. Sgroi, M.D., Executive Director, New England Clinical Associates

Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault. In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences. Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination. This book is based on the author’s powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You’ll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you’ll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion—pride.

Published in 2000. Child abuse is endemic, it comes in many forms and its categories are not closed. This book looks at responses to aspects of child abuse in all five continents. The definitions are different, though not all that different, the legal emphases vary and so do management techniques. This book reveals the importance of culture and structure in the commitment to eradicate the problem.

I wrote this book to share a mindset that has helped me reach a goal that I set long before my first child was born. That goal was to be a good father and have the evidence of well adjusted, respectful, engaged, goal oriented, self-governing, assertive, grateful, and considerate kids. To sum it up I wanted to be an effective father and end up with great kids. That was no small task considering the fact that I was a victim of child abuse. This is a book about overcoming. For those who also experienced an abusive childhood it will provide hope. Those without that to overcome will also be encouraged. All readers will be empowered. It is a win -win for parent and child alike! I often get compliments on the behavior of my children. For example, people say they are polite, or engaging, or thankful, or assertive yet humble. I get positive remarks about their hand shake, their people skills, and their work ethic to name a few. Am I bragging? Yes, but I am not doing so because I think I am super special. I am just repeating what I have heard. More often than not I respond to those compliments with this statement - "I purchased the good child option at the hospital." Of course, I say that in jest, but the entire time it is coming out of my mouth I am thinking that any father can do what I have done. My kids are "easy to love," and have been their entire life. They are my credentials. In fact, the way they have turned out is the very reason you should read this book. I wrote this book to empower fathers. I was an abused child and I share some of my story as an encouragement. For the person who also suffered an abusive childhood this book will be a beacon of hope. Anybody who had a great childhood will also be greatly encouraged because they have way less to overcome. There is value in this book. Some of that value is in the form of tactics that I have used successfully. It is also present in the hope of overcoming which is a common theme throughout the book. The greatest value is found in an attitude that will empower fathers to be more effective. I wrote this book in hopes that grandparents would give it to their children to help those that they love. I want my own kids to read it for exactly that reason.

This book will help the sufferer understand the links between past trauma and present difficulties and offers ways to gain control over these problems, allowing the individual to deal with intrusive memories, manage mood swings and build better relationships in adulthood.