Raising The Perfect Child Through Guilt And Manipulation

A hysterically tongue-in-cheek, parody parenting guide by “a wonder writer and an expressive, hilarious comedian” (Zack Galifianakis). Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation is not one of those traditional, all-too-earnest parenting guides that, for generations, have sucked all the fun out of child rearing. The foundation of Elizabeth Beckwith’s Guilt and Manipulation family philosophy is simple: We do things a certain way, and everyone else is an a**hole. Is that something you should put on a bumper sticker and slap on your minivan? Of course not—that would be trashy. But in the privacy of your own home, you can employ these essential components of Guilt and Manipulation to mold the little runts ruthlessly yet effectively into children you won't be embarrassed to admit are yours: Creating a Team: “Us” vs. “Them” How to Scare the Crap Out of Your Child (in a Positive Way) Don’t Be Afraid to Raise a Nerd Mind Control: Why It’s a Good Thing

Parenting is hard. But parenting is not really about children. Many of the problems we face as parents occur because we don't understand how to take care of our own wellbeing, nor how to resolve the pain and trauma of our past. Learning to have compassion for ourselves and finding the tools to practice self-care can transform parenting from a frustrating exercise in self-will to the transcendent experience it's meant to be. This book is the story of one family's parent-child struggle to find happiness and fulfillment, with insights into parenting and childhood development which can help everyone to become a better parent.

Why do so many of our kids--raised in the most affluent nation on earth--fail to thrive and strive and enter adulthood lacking appropriate and effective coping skills? Drs. Swihart and Cotter have come up with a revolutionary theory on why our kids are having such a tough time of it today: It is because we allow our children to manipulate us, and the world around them, rather than teaching them how to respond to life and life's tough situations. The result is that manipulative behavior is directly tied to low self-esteem, which only heightens its negative impact on kids, families, and the larger communities we live in. The good news is that Drs. Swihart and Cotter have created a radical and clinically proven program for breaking manipulative behavior and getting our kids back on track. The program teaches parents to say no without feeling guilt; to resist the urge to feel responsible for their child's happiness; to view their children as emotionally competent and resilient; and most importantly, to realize that effective parenting means allowing your child to make mistakes and develop a sense of competence, which leads to enhanced self-esteem and an ability to live independently and successfully in the real world. Drawing on their twenty-five years in private practice, the authors illustrate their program with examples of successful kids, as well as case studies of how parents have regained control and effectively blocked their children's manipulative behavior. The positive results will enlighten, and even astound you, and give you the tools needed to become a better parent.

Fresh, funny, and poignant, My (not so) Storybook Life is old-fashioned humor mashed with literary spoofery. Elizabeth thinks of herself and her husband, Matt, as a modern-day Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. Together they’ve endured paint-color mishaps, sewage disasters, pest infestations, and a schnauzer that poops at tornado sirens. It’s hardly the domestic perfection a young Liz imagined while reading Anne of Green Gables and Pride and Prejudice. Could it be that these literary stalwarts had led her astray? Liz tells the story of her own path to happiness, along the way seeking revenge on her literary heroes: Jo March has to cope with a soul-sucking job, Elizabeth Bennett shepherds a Duggar-size brood of kids, and Anne Shirley deals with a penny-pinching husband. But every comedy is balanced by tragedy. Angela was one of Liz’s closest friends, a kindred spirit who, at age thirty-one, was diagnosed with cancer. Before Angela, Liz was discontented. But it was the journey she took with this friend that made her realize that her house and its decorations and plumbing and dirty-clothes-covered Man Cave were not burdens to be tweaked and perfected, but blessings to be thankful for.

Humorist-writer-mammal Carlos Kotkin is lucky in love-if lucky in love means he's had enough horrible, pathetic, and downright bizarre dating experiences to write a book. His trouble with females usually begins upon opening his mouth. Here, Carlos shares his ups and mostly downs of bachelorhood, including romantic conquests with a slew of childhood crushes, insane yogis, a Playboy vixen, a STD host, the flaky, the deaf, and the just plain dumb. His unique mating style is not to be duplicated, but it will definitely make readers laugh-and want to get tested ASAP.

The good news is that Drs. Swihart and Cotter have created a radical and clinically proven program for breaking manipulative behavior and getting our kids back on track. At its core is the concept of value-guided parenting, wherein parents do the difficult work of establishing a set of values - a family identity - and then demanding that they and their children behave based on these values. The program teaches parents to say no without feeling guilt; to resist the urge to feel responsible for their child's happiness (which negates the child's chance to struggle with and learn from life's vicissitudes); to view their children as emotionally competent and resilient; and most importantly, to realize that effective parenting means allowing your child to make mistakes and develop a sense of competence, which leads to enhanced self-esteem and an ability to live independently and successfully in the real world.

No more starvation, fasting, or exhaustion and struggling to stay healthy and look good. Learn how to work with your own physiology to achieve real and lasting health. This book is an autobiographical journey through devastating illness and return to health which resulted in unique and unmatched insights into the workings of the human body, the origins of disease, and real and accessible solutions to the health problems which plague our modern societies.