The Manipulative Child

Why do so many of our kids--raised in the most affluent nation on earth--fail to thrive and strive and enter adulthood lacking appropriate and effective coping skills? Drs. Swihart and Cotter have come up with a revolutionary theory on why our kids are having such a tough time of it today: It is because we allow our children to manipulate us, and the world around them, rather than teaching them how to respond to life and life's tough situations. The result is that manipulative behavior is directly tied to low self-esteem, which only heightens its negative impact on kids, families, and the larger communities we live in. The good news is that Drs. Swihart and Cotter have created a radical and clinically proven program for breaking manipulative behavior and getting our kids back on track. The program teaches parents to say no without feeling guilt; to resist the urge to feel responsible for their child's happiness; to view their children as emotionally competent and resilient; and most importantly, to realize that effective parenting means allowing your child to make mistakes and develop a sense of competence, which leads to enhanced self-esteem and an ability to live independently and successfully in the real world. Drawing on their twenty-five years in private practice, the authors illustrate their program with examples of successful kids, as well as case studies of how parents have regained control and effectively blocked their children's manipulative behavior. The positive results will enlighten, and even astound you, and give you the tools needed to become a better parent.

Advises parents on how to deal with problem behavior at all age levels.

Solve typical toddler challenges with eight key mindshifts that will help you parent with clarity, calmness and self-control. Through stories from her practice, Claire Lerner shows parents how making critical mindshifts—seeing their children’s behaviors through a new lens —empowers parents to solve their most vexing childrearing challenges. This process puts parents back in the driver’s seat, where they belong and where their children need them to be. These real life stories provide a roadmap for how to tune into the root causes of children’s behavior and how to create and implement strategies that are tailored to the unique needs of each child and family. Through these stories, Claire provides a treasure trove of practical solutions that are based in science and which work in real life. Why Is My Child In Charge? picks up where other books have left parents hanging. Most parenting books offer solutions that sound good on paper but don’t work in practice. They are aspirational rather than achievable, or they offer one-size-fits-all approaches that don’t meet the needs of an individual child. They can compound parents’ feelings of frustration and thus, can be counterproductive. Case by case, Claire unpacks the individualized process she guides parents through to solve the most common challenges such as throwing tantrums in public; delaying bedtime for hours; refusing to participate in family mealtimes; and resisting potty training. Employing a relatable story-telling approach, Claire elucidates: The faulty mindsets that pose obstacles to parents seeing the situation more objectively The essential mindshifts that enable parents to quickly identify the root causes of the problem The development of an action plan tailored to each unique child and family Why is My Child in Charge? is like having a child development specialist in your home. It shows how you can develop “win-win” strategies that translate into adaptable, happy kids and calm, connected and in-control parents. It will help you be the parent you want to be.

A modern parenting classic—a guide to a new and gentle way of understanding the care and nurture of infants, by the internationally renowned childcare expert, podcaster, and author of No Bad Kids “An absolute go-to for all parents, therapists, anyone who works with, is, or knows parents of young children.”—Wendy Denham, PhD A Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE) teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, Janet Lansbury helps parents look at the world through the eyes of their infants and relate to them as whole people who have natural abilities to learn without being taught. Once we are able to view our children in this light, even the most common daily parenting experiences become stimulating opportunities to learn, discover, and connect with our child. A collection of the most-read articles from Janet’s popular and long-running blog, Elevating Child Care focuses on common infant issues, including: • Nourishing our babies’ healthy eating habits • Calming your clingy, fearful child • How to build your child’s focus and attention span • Developing routines that promote restful sleep Eschewing the quick-fix tips and tricks of popular parenting culture, Lansbury’s gentle, insightful guidance lays the foundation for a closer, more fulfilling parent-child relationship, and children who grow up to be authentic, confident, successful adults.

Offers a groundbreaking and clinically proven program for blocking manipulative behavior and getting our kids back on track. The authors tell parents: why we've allowed ourselves to view our children as victims, rather than as emotionally competent, resilient, and capable individuals; how manipulative behavior and low self-esteem are connected; how your child's temperament influences his or her style of manipulative behavior; what the 17 characteristics of a healthy child are; how to regain control and become "manipulative-proof"; and how to step out of the way, promote your child's independence, and enjoy the fruits of value-guided parenting.

A modern classic on the gentle art of discipline for toddlers, by the internationally renowned childcare expert, podcaster, and author of Elevating Child Care “No Bad Kids provides practical ways to respond to the challenges of toddlerhood while nurturing a respectful relationship with your child.”—Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline Janet Lansbury is unique among parenting experts. As a RIE teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, her advice is not based solely on formal studies and the research of others, but also on her more than twenty years of hands-on experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers. A collection of her most popular articles about toddler behavior, No Bad Kids presents her signature approach to discipline, which she sees as a parent’s act of compassion and love for a child. Full of wisdom and encouragement, it covers common toddler concerns such as: • Why toddlers need clear boundaries—and how to set them without yelling • What's going on when they bite, hit, kick, tantrum, whine, and talk back • Advice for parenting a strong-willed child • How to be a gentle leader, and Lansbury’s secret for staying calm For parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love, No Bad Kids is a practical, indispensable resource for putting respectful discipline into action.

Offers proven strategies for taming toxic thought patterns of parents about their unruly children, and provides guidelines to improving the defiant behavior of children by changing one's own parenting mindset.

A family psychologist offers parents clear and simple techniques for disarming the strategies kids use to manipulate them. Every parent knows that children quickly learn how to push their buttons. Now, this invaluable and insightful book, written by a prominent clinical psychologist, identifies the specific ways kids manipulate their parents?and how to stop each tactic. These uncannily sophisticated and undermining strategies include: ? Emotional blackmail ? Shutting down ? Negotiation ? Protest ? Playing the victim ? Dividing the parents Filled with informative and practical advice, this insightful guide is designed to help parents restore harmony, discipline, and healthy relationships?and put an end to selfish, manipulative behavior for good.