Sadomasochism In Everyday Life

Table of Contents Acknowledgments Introduction Reflecting on a Set of Personal and Political Criteria 1 Pt. 1 Expanding the Scope of Sadomasochism Ch. 1 Exploring Sadomasochism in the American Context 15 Ch. 2 Defining a Basic Dynamic: Parodoxes[sic] at the Heart of Sadomasochism 43 Ch. 3 Combining the Insights of Existentialism and Psychoanalysis: Why Sadomasochism? 69 Pt. 2 Sadomasochism in Its Social Settings Ch. 4 Employing Chains of Command: Sadomasochism and the Workplace 93 Ch. 5 Engendering Sadomasochism: Dominance, Subordination, and the Contaminated World of Patriarchy 125 Ch. 6 Creating Enemies in Everyday Life: Following the Example of Others 155 Ch. 7 A Theoretical Finale 187 Epilogue 215 Notes 223 Index 231

Why do men and women lock themselves in painful intimacies, continue to work for tyrannical bosses, and put up with people who humiliate them? Exploring the self-inflicted suffering of everyday life, this book sheds light on a widespread psychological phenomenon of our time--and points the way to breaking that pattern of unhappiness.

Explains the subtle but pervasive aspects of sadomasochism that affect everyday relationships across our lives, detailing when the power and control dynamics become neurotic and describing actions that can be taken to better individuals and improve society. For most people, a whip-wielding, leather-clad sexual subculture comes to mind when they hear the phrase "sadomasochism." But as psychiatrist Martin Kantor explains in this book, sadomasochism is generally about power, control, dominance, and submission, dynamics that are subtle and pervasive in all of our lives, from home life to work life to social interactions including political arenas. The bottom line: sadomasochism is about the giving or receiving pleasure from the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation and both pain and pleasure can be purely emotional, no sexual or physical context necessary. Kantor deconstructs sadomasochism to show us how it affects each of us, consciously or not. He explains the "life phases" of sadomasochism, the role early trauma plays in this self-defeating action when it reaches a neurotic level, and the damage it does to individuals, loved ones, and society. This ground-breaking book will appeal to psychology students and researchers, as well as general readers with an interest in psychology.

Sadomasochism is explored from three distinct vantage points in this volume. First, there is an extensive critical overview of the etiology of the clinical syndrome that singles out specific parent-child interactions responsible for its causation. Second, the author presents a sociological perspective tracing the sadomasochistic elements existing in all basic interactions between men and women and argues compellingly that sexism is ultimately an expression of a sadomasochistic arrangement between the sexes. Finally a detailed and specific treatment plan is offered. Richly illustrated with four case histories, this plan integrates the developmental phases of normal infancy with specific phases of the therapeutic process.

Contributing to revised notions of inclusivity and acceptance, this interdisciplinary work deftly identifies both historical and current approaches to understanding and analyzing kink, and pinpoints avenues for future research.

Dr Estela V. Welldon contests the view that sadomasochism is an isolated 'perversion'. Using numerous examples from literature, film, opera and other media, she undertakes an exploration of the psychodynamic aspects of sadomasochism that carries us from the writings of de Sade and von Sacher-Masoch to the contemporary underground S & M club scene. Challenging our expectations that S & M is concerned only with 'bizarre' activities, Dr Welldon illuminates the dynamics of power and control in everyday family life and sexual relationships. Her investigation deepens to include the downward spiral of domestic violence and child abuse, and the 'malignant bonding' between couples in cases such as Ian Brady and Myra Hindley, and Fred and Rosemary West. Is sadomasochism invariably present in the victim-perpetrator cycle? Is it learned or innate? Are sadism and masochism complete opposites or do they complement one another? Are they specifically related to the genders? Dr Welldon asks these questions and many more in a fluent, thought provoking essay.

Explains the subtle but pervasive aspects of sadomasochism that affect everyday relationships across our lives, detailing when the power and control dynamics become neurotic and describing actions that can be taken to better individuals and improve society. For most people, a whip-wielding, leather-clad sexual subculture comes to mind when they hear the phrase "sadomasochism." But as psychiatrist Martin Kantor explains in this book, sadomasochism is generally about power, control, dominance, and submission, dynamics that are subtle and pervasive in all of our lives, from home life to work life to social interactions including political arenas. The bottom line: sadomasochism is about the giving or receiving pleasure from the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation and both pain and pleasure can be purely emotional, no sexual or physical context necessary. Kantor deconstructs sadomasochism to show us how it affects each of us, consciously or not. He explains the "life phases" of sadomasochism, the role early trauma plays in this self-defeating action when it reaches a neurotic level, and the damage it does to individuals, loved ones, and society. This ground-breaking book will appeal to psychology students and researchers, as well as general readers with an interest in psychology.

In this eye-opening book Thomas Moore, the author of the national bestsellers Care of the Soul and Soul Mates, turns to the dark side of love: its cruelties, perversions, and appalling tortures. Bravely and with brilliant insights, Moore re-imagines the repulsive fictions of the Marquis de Sade to learn what they can teach about the horrors hidden deep inside the human soul, revealing unsuspected poetic and imaginative powers within violence and sexual victimization. The book also shows the sadomasochism that lies unseen in many aspects of everyday life. With a foreword by Adolf Guggenbühl-Craig and a new afterword by the author.