Setting Boundaries With Difficult People

Continuing her popular Setting Boundaries® series, Allison Bottke offer her distinctive “Six Steps to SANITY” to readers who must deal with difficult people. S…Stop your own negative behavior A…Assemble a support group N…Nip excuses in the bud I…Implement rules and boundaries T….Trust your instincts Y…Yield everything to God Whether it’s a spouse, in-law, boss, coworker, family member, neighbor, or friend, readers who have allowed others to overstep their boundaries will learn how these six steps can help them reset those boundaries and take back their life…for good. Setting Boundaries® with Difficult People is designed to inspire, empower, and equip readers with the tools to transform lives.

Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.

When to say yes, when to say no to take control of your life.

Button-pushers come in all shapes and sizes, but they have one thing in common: Their behavior drives us crazy and makes us dream of ways to escape the mess we're in. The person who pushes your buttons is likely someone who matters to you – a spouse, a parent, a boss, a fellow church member. Almost always this difficult person is connected to you by blood, love, faith, or money, so you can't just end the relationship without causing pain and upheaval in your life. Our friends and today's culture will often advise us to abandon such relationships quickly – to end this unpleasant chapter and get on with our lives. Psychologist and author Dr. John Townsend disagrees, "Your button-pusher is not someone you would easily and casually leave. You are intertwined at many levels. It is worth the trouble to take a look at the ways the relationship you had, and want, can be revived and reborn." In this easy-to-read book he offers Expert insights to help you understand your own button-pusher Wise assistance in determining the nature of the problem Compassionate help in identifying your failed attempts to fix things A hope-filled vision for what can be and how to make it come true Rich resources to help you navigate the necessary changes

Finally…Hope for Parents in Pain What parent doesn’t want their children to grow up to be happy, responsible adults? Yet despite parents’ best efforts, most heartfelt prayers, and most loving environments, some kids never successfully make the transition to independently functioning adulthood. Following her own journey, Allison Bottke developed a tough-love approach to parenting adult children that helps both you and your child by focusing on setting you free from the repeated pain of your adult child’s broken promises, lies, and deception. Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children offers practical hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God As you love your child with arms and heart wide open, know that no matter what happens you are never alone. God is in control and will be with you.

Setting Boundaries is not just about saying 'no'. It is about pursuing the things that set our soul on fire, loving deeply without losing ourselves, and better resisting the demands and expectations of others. Dr Rebecca Ray, Australian clinical psychologist and author, shows how boundaries are the key to many of the emotional and practical difficulties we encounter in daily life. Many of us, raised to be people-pleasers, find ourselves giving in to draining colleagues, friends, partners and relatives. In Setting Boundaries, Dr Ray shares science-based advice and tools to help you: - identify your boundaries and when they have been crossed - recognise the patterns and habits that have failed to support you to feel empowered - engage in difficult conversations from a place of strength and self-kindness - set clear, intentional boundaries and become your most loving, fulfilled and authentic self. Accessible, inspiring and deeply practical, Setting Boundaries ignites us to rethink our relationships, reclaim our lives and protect our mental health and wellbeing. Praise for Setting Boundaries 'Within the first two pages I found myself exclaiming, She's so brilliant. That's exactly how it is! - Dr Libby Weaver 'Yet another valuable contribution from Dr Rebecca Ray and one I can genuinely and sincerely recommend.' - Dr Tim Sharp 'I will return to this book over and over again when I'm feeling lost and need a comforting voice of support.' - Alison Daddo 'This book has changed my life so much. I think it's Beck's style of writing and connection to her audience. It's real, relatable and doable! I have radically seen shifts in my life from reading Beck's words.' - Tanya Hennessy, Sexy

Isn’t it time you took a stand? Many women struggle with assertiveness, but if you’re prone to anxiety and avoidance, it is especially difficult. Grounded in attachment theory, this essential guide will help you identify your thoughts and feelings, balance your emotions, communicate your needs, and set healthy boundaries to improve your life. When you’re assertive, you’re able to communicate your needs and wishes clearly while respecting yourself and anyone else involved in the interaction. But when you aren’t assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren’t being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways. People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances. Using strategies based in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), The Assertiveness Guide for Women can help you understand the attachment styles that keep you from asserting yourself. You’ll learn about the three communication stances—from the passive Doormat to the aggressive (or passive-aggressive) Sword to the assertive Lantern—and find practical examples that show you how to apply your new communication and emotional awareness skills in your own life. Rather than being caught in a cycle of rumination and regret when you’re unable to express yourself or even acknowledge your own needs, you’ll be ready to assert yourself and get what you want. Whether you’re anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, this book will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.

Do you have trouble saying "no," or constantly sacrifice your own needs to please others? If so, this evidence-based workbook will help you set healthy boundaries in all aspects of your life—without feeling guilty or afraid. If you find yourself feeling responsible for others’ happiness, worrying about letting people down, or struggling to speak up for yourself, you probably have difficulty setting healthy boundaries. Establishing clear personal boundaries is essential to creating and nurturing mutually respectful relationships based on equality. Setting limits can also protect you from getting involved in exploitative relationships, and help you avoid toxic personalities who don’t have your best interests at heart. This evidence-based workbook will show you how to set healthy boundaries across all aspects of life—without sacrificing your kindness or compassion for others. You’ll learn to define your boundaries and discover why they’re so important for your emotional well-being. You’ll also find a wealth of tips for maintaining boundaries in a "constantly-connected" world, strategies for what to do when people get upset or threatened by your assertiveness, and ways to make sure your needs are met. If you’re tired of feeling guilty or afraid of putting your mental and physical health first, are ready to take back control of your life, and create healthy and balanced relationships, this book will show you how to step up and set limits, assert yourself confidently, and realize your full potential.