Sh Tty Mom

“Nearly criminally funny . . . carries a powerful message to all parents, but especially moms, that distilled to its essence is this: chill.” —Time Sh*tty Mom is the ultimate parenting guide, written by four moms who have seen it all. As hilarious as it is universal, each chapter presents a common parenting scenario with advice on how to get through it in the easiest and most efficient way possible. With chapters such as How to Sleep Until 9 A.M. Every Weekend and When Seeing an Infant Triggers a Mental Illness That Makes You Want to Have Another Baby, as well as a Sh*tty Mom quiz, this is a must-have, laugh-out-loud funny book for the sh*tty parent in all of us. “A totally hilarious and uncensored look at some of the impossible situations we mothers find ourselves in.” —The Bump “As the attachment parenting craze has hit a zenith in American culture, four very funny moms—comedy writers, TV producers, and a novelist—blast open a long-locked safe filled with frustrations faced by all modern mothers, with sympathetic and sharp humor . . . The authors’ unfiltered candor is a welcome reminder for readers that they’re not alone.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review) “Hilariously entertaining. A must-read survivor’s guide for every mother!”—Christy Turlington Burns, founder of Every Mother Counts “A long overdue little burst of honesty from the supposed minority of mothers who are, in fact, not that maternal . . . After a generation of supermoms one-upping each other in dead earnest on playgrounds and schoolyards, the emerging mass appeal of Sh*tty Mom is a welcome relief.” —The New York Observer

The authors of the New York Times–bestselling Sh*tty Mom are back with a hilarious guide presenting common parenting scenarios with advice for getting through the year the sh*tty mom way. Told in the same tongue-in-cheek voice as the original, this sequel is full of funny parenting tips and relatable stories for contemporary moms. Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons explores the occasions throughout the year that test every mother’s patience and inspire self-deprecating humor and that second glass of wine. With chapters organized by season, the book will teach you how to navigate the bumpy roads of motherhood, learn to laugh at the occasional parenting fail, and maybe even appreciate your own mother. Or not. Sample chapters for the sh*tty mom year include: Fall: “Yes, We All Have to Be Here: The Annual PTO Funsraiser” Winter: “Mom’s Real New Year’s Resolutions” Spring: “I’m Running Off with the Gardner: April Fools!” Summer: “Summer Reading Lists & Other Great Reasons Why You Don’t Home School” The Emmy Award–winning TODAY show producers and self-proclaimed sh*tty moms, Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner, together with humorist Erin Clune, bring you the perfect book for mothers who don’t take themselves too seriously.

A hilarious and reassuring gift for every mom: because we’re all doing the best we can, and the natural world is filled with moms worse than you! A mom giraffe is pretty nice until the fetus drops. She’ll birth a newborn baby calf, then kick him ’til he walks. Whenever you feel guilty that you haven’t cleaned the house: Sexton beetles raise their kids in a decomposing mouse. A koala mom will feed her kids her own poop. Yes, poop. Panda moms will abandon one twin because raising two is, well, just too much. And every now and then a cuddly little hamster mom will —yup— eat her newborn pups. These and other true facts from the animal kingdom offer a hilarious reality check on what constitutes “good parenting.” So, human mother, time to stop worrying about the job you're doing —because you’re a great mom.

This pocket-sized parenting guide for moms and moms-to-be is perfect for a baby shower or Mother's Day gift. This little handbook is filled with all the secrets and strategies a smart mother needs to know. Featuring tips for mastering quick and easy meals, suggestions for baby-proofing like an expert, advice on stocking your medicine cabinet, tricks to making a long wait fun, and much, much more, such as: • How to Swaddle a Baby • Fifteen Birthday-Party Survival Tips • The Truth about Potty Training • The Miracle of White Noise • Comebacks for Unsolicited Parenting Advice

An honest, irreverent, laugh-out-loud guide to coping with death and dying from Emmy-nominated writer and New York Times bestselling co-author of Sh*tty Mom Laurie Kilmartin. Death is not for the faint of heart, and sometimes the best way to cope is through humor. No one knows this better than comedian Laurie Kilmartin. She made headlines by live-tweeting her father’s time in hospice and her grieving process after he passed, and channeled her experience into a comedy special, 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad. Dead People Suck is her hilarious guide to surviving (sometimes) death, dying, and grief without losing your mind. If you are old and about to die, sick and about to die, or with a loved one who is about to pass away or who has passed away, there’s something for you. With chapters like “Are You An Old Man With Daughters? Please Shred Your Porn,” “If Cancer was an STD, It Would Be Cured By Now,” and “Unsubscribing Your Dead Parent from Tea Party Emails,” Laurie Kilmartin guides you through some of life’s most complicated moments with equal parts heart and sarcasm.

If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

Forget everything society has taught you about becoming a mom. Successful curve model Amanda Tice is here to tell you what motherhood is really like. Standing exposed in a scant bikini in front of Heidi Klum's creative team, revealing a postpartum body she hardly recognized, Amanda faced the harsh realization that she would never be her "old self" again. In refreshingly honest, hilarious, and raw conversation, Amanda takes you through her clumsy journey into motherhood and shares how she learned to embrace her new self-stretch marks, rolls, and all. With journal prompts, exercises, and "Tice Advice," Amanda helps you Understand what really takes place postpartum-mentally and physically. Thrive through the first few years of motherhood. Learn how to love and embrace your new identity. This book will rewire your brain and rewrite your new mom code-because, Mama, you deserve to have it all (and more)!

Two producers of Today share their experiences and wisdom on baby's first year, along with priceless advice and anecdotes from the anchors and experts on America's number-one morning show. Being a new mother can be extremely nerve-racking and exhausting, and many moms find parenting advice, comfort, and humor on the Today show. Now all that advice and more is collected in Today's Moms, a one-stop guide to everything a new mother needs to know about her baby's first year, from the best breastfeeding products to reclaiming fun and intimacy with her partner after the baby. Full of behind-the-scenes stories with moms and experts, Today's Moms provides the most up-to-date news and information with easy, entertaining ways to help mothers keep their sanity. And it's all medically reviewed by NBC medical experts Dr. Nancy Snyderman and Dr. Tanya Benenson. Contributors include Meredith Vieira, Ann Curry, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Kathie Lee Gifford, and many others. Written in a friendly and accessible tone, with straightforward, honest advice and expert information, Today's Moms will help all moms feel more confident about their first year of motherhood.