Talking With Children About Loss

Through captivating stories and thoughtful analysis, Maria Trozzi explains how to handle the difficult job of talking with children and adolescents about loss, with discussions about: * How children perceive and interpret events such as death, disability, and divorce * Guiding children through the four tasks of mourning * Helping children face funerals, wakes, and memorial services * Children's fears and fantasies: how they express them, and how to address them * Age-appropriate responses to children's questions and concerns * Talking to children about long-term illness, suicide, family or community tragedy, and other special situations * What to do when children won't talk about loss, and when to seek professional help"The wisdom, authenticity, and sheer presence of the author are evident from page one until the end of the beautifully written book. Terms like 'ground-breaking' and 'innovative' have been triviliazed by overuse. In this case they are deserved." --Stan Turecki, M.D., author of The Difficult Child

Through captivating stories and thoughtful analysis, Maria Trozzi explains how to handle the difficult job of talking with children and adolescents about loss, with discussions about: * How children perceive and interpret events such as death, disability, and divorce * Guiding children through the four tasks of mourning * Helping children face funerals, wakes, and memorial services * Children's fears and fantasies: how they express them, and how to address them * Age-appropriate responses to children's questions and concerns * Talking to children about long-term illness, suicide, family or community tragedy, and other special situations * What to do when children won't talk about loss, and when to seek professional help"The wisdom, authenticity, and sheer presence of the author are evident from page one until the end of the beautifully written book. Terms like 'ground-breaking' and 'innovative' have been triviliazed by overuse. In this case they are deserved." --Stan Turecki, M.D., author of The Difficult Child

An invaluable tool for kids to discuss death, explore grief, and honor the life of loved ones.

A powerful exploration of grief and resilience following the death of the author's son that combines memoir, reportage, and lessons in how to heal Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Helen Macdonald found solace in training a wild gos­hawk. Cheryl Strayed found strength in hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. For Carol Smith, a Pulitzer Prize­ nominated journalist struggling with the sudden death of her seven-year-old son, Christopher, the way to cross the river of sorrow was through work. In Crossing the River, Smith recounts how she faced down her crippling loss through reporting a series of profiles of people coping with their own intense chal­lenges, whether a life-altering accident, injury, or diag­nosis. These were stories of survival and transformation, of people facing devastating situations that changed them in unexpected ways. Smith deftly mixes the stories of these individuals and their families with her own account of how they helped her heal. General John Shalikashvili, once the most powerful member of the American military, taught Carol how to face fear with discipline and endurance. Seth, a young boy with a rare and incurable illness, shed light on the totality of her son's experiences, and in turn helps readers see that the value of a life is not measured in days. Crossing the River is a beautiful and profoundly moving book, an unforgettable journey through grief toward hope, and a valuable, illuminating read for anyone coping with loss.

From Molly Potter, best-selling author of How Are You Feeling Today? and What's Worrying You?, comes a picture book for starting conversations with children about death, bereavement and what happens next. When someone dies, we can feel a whole host of different emotions and explaining them to a child isn't so easy. This book uses clear, easy-to-understand language to answer complex questions about death and how a child might feel when someone dies. It covers all manner of tricky subjects with sensitivity and honesty, from what death is to why people die. Each double page spread takes a child through how they might feel, what they might think and how they might behave. With engaging illustrations, gentle guidance and simple advice for parents and carers, Let's Talk About When Someone Dies fulfils an important but difficult need for starting conversations with children about death and bereavement, in an accessible and supportive way.

First published in 1984. A common myth is that that young children (say around three years of age) do not understand death or give the death of friend, pet, brother, sister, parent, grandparent, other relative, or give it a Raggedy-Ann doll meaning. However, research has indicated that they do. If it is difficult for us to think about our death, it is the author’s hypothesis that to think of the death of our children is an even greater difficulty. We dread the thought of our children suffering pain, dying, and death. Similarly the thought of our children suffering grief is difficult for us to comprehend. Helping Children Cope With Grief is more universal to more than the area of grief and is a valuable tool for parents, teachers, and counselors when their goal is to develop happier, more loving children.

One out of seven children will lose a parent before they are 20. The statistics are sobering, but they are also a call for preparedness. However, pastors and counselors of all types are often at a loss when dealing with a grieving child. Talking to adults about death and grief is difficult; it's all the more challenging to talk to children and teens. The stakes are high: grieving children are high-risk for substance abuse, promiscuity, depression, isolation, and suicide. Yet, despite this, most of these kids grow up to be normal or exceptional adults. But their chance to become healthy adults increases with the support of a loving community. Supporting grieving children requires intentionality, open communication, and patience. Rather than avoid all conversations on death or pretend like it never happened, normalizing grief and offering support requires us to be in-tune with kids through dialogue as they grapple with questions of “how” and “why.” When listening to children in grief, we often have to embrace the mystery, offer love and compassion, and stick with the basics. The author says, "We don’t have to answer the why and how for them, but we can assure our children that God is with us as we suffer. We can do so by doing good for others and pointing out all of those moments when someone has done something good for us. I believe that most of the time that’s as far as we will get, and that is okay."

Inspired by the website that the New York Times hailed as "redefining mourning," this book is a fresh and irreverent examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss through candid original essays from a variety of voices, accompanied by gorgeous two-color illustrations and wry infographics. At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it’s clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let’s face it: most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We’re awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit. Enter Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, who can help us do better. Each having lost parents as young adults, they co-founded Modern Loss, responding to a need to change the dialogue around the messy experience of grief. Now, in this wise and often funny book, they offer the insights of the Modern Loss community to help us cry, laugh, grieve, identify, and—above all—empathize. Soffer and Birkner, along with forty guest contributors including Lucy Kalanithi, singer Amanda Palmer, and CNN’s Brian Stelter, reveal their own stories on a wide range of topics including triggers, sex, secrets, and inheritance. Accompanied by beautiful hand-drawn illustrations and witty "how to" cartoons, each contribution provides a unique perspective on loss as well as a remarkable life-affirming message. Brutally honest and inspiring, Modern Loss invites us to talk intimately and humorously about grief, helping us confront the humanity (and mortality) we all share. Beginners welcome.