The Grief Garden Path

Have you lost somebody close to you? This book can help you to deal with loss, grief and bereavement. “It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey of grief is personal and individual. However, there are similarities for everyone in the process of grief. My aim is to help everyone to understand that there really is some light at the end of the tunnel, and to help them on their journey towards it.” The Grief Garden Path is easy to read, with plenty of practical advice, which you can dip into whenever you have time. Chapters include information about the ‘grief path’, and outlining the types of grief you might experience. You’ll find simple exercises you can follow to help you going forward, with tips to help you feel better, even on your worst days. And you’ll be able to share personal stories from people who have experienced the loss of people very close to them, including their own tips on how to cope with grief. At a time when you might not feel able to join a group in order to share your own feelings, we are sure that you will find it inspirational to hear about how others have coped with the pain of losing a loved one. Julie New is always happy to hear from anyone who is struggling to overcome personal setbacks. You’ll find her contact details on her website: www.julienew.co.uk Linda Magistris, the founder of the Good Grief Trust (www.thegoodgrieftrust.org) has included a foreword.

In this “volume of rare sensitivity, penetrating understanding, and profound insights” (Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, author of Living When a Loved One Has Died), Dr. Kenneth Doka explores a new, compassionate way to grieve, explaining that grief is not an illness to get over but an individual and ongoing journey. There is no “one-size-fits-all” way to cope with loss. The vital bonds that we form with those we love in life continue long after death—in very different ways. Grief Is a Journey is the first book to overturn prevailing, often judgmental, ideas about grief and replace them with a hopeful, inclusive, personalized, and research-backed approach. New science and studies behind Dr. Doka’s teaching upend the dominant but incorrect view that grief proceeds by stages. Dr. Doka helps us realize that our experiences following a death are far more individual and much less predictable than the conventional “five stages” model would have us believe. Common patterns of experiencing and expressing grief still prevail, yet many other life changes accompany a primary loss. For example, the deaths of parents, even for adults, modify family patterns, change relationships, and alter old family rituals. Unique to this book, Dr. Doka also explains how to cope with disenfranchised grief—the types of loss that are not so readily recognized or supported by society. These include the death of ex-spouses, as well as non-fatal losses such as divorce, the end of a friendship, job loss, or infertility. In addition, Dr. Doka considers losses that might be stigmatized, including death by suicide or from disease or self-destructive behaviors such as smoking or alcoholism. And finally, Dr. Doka reminds us that, however painful, grief provides opportunities for growth.

Subject: When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable, especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, 'NO!' with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should. This book is a companion for life and most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. The author, who is also a bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field accompanies the reader along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities, as well as her own experience with loss, the author opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief

A grieving widow discovers a most unexpected form of healing—hunting for mushrooms. “Moving . . . Long tells the story of finding hope after despair lightly and artfully, with self-effacement and so much gentle good nature.”—The New York Times Long Litt Woon met Eiolf a month after arriving in Norway from Malaysia as an exchange student. They fell in love, married, and settled into domestic bliss. Then Eiolf’s unexpected death at fifty-four left Woon struggling to imagine a life without the man who had been her partner and anchor for thirty-two years. Adrift in grief, she signed up for a beginner’s course on mushrooming—a course the two of them had planned to take together—and found, to her surprise, that the pursuit of mushrooms rekindled her zest for life. The Way Through the Woods tells the story of parallel journeys: an inner one, through the landscape of mourning, and an outer one, into the fascinating realm of mushrooms—resilient, adaptable, and essential to nature’s cycle of death and rebirth. From idyllic Norwegian forests and urban flower beds to the sandy beaches of Corsica and New York’s Central Park, Woon uncovers an abundance of surprises often hidden in plain sight: salmon-pink Bloody Milk Caps, which ooze red liquid when cut; delectable morels, prized for their earthy yet delicate flavor; and bioluminescent mushrooms that light up the forest at night. Along the way, she discovers the warm fellowship of other mushroom obsessives, and finds that giving her full attention to the natural world transforms her, opening a way for her to survive Eiolf’s death, to see herself anew, and to reengage with life. Praise for The Way Through the Woods “In her search for new meaning in life after the death of her husband, Long Litt Woon undertook the study of mushrooms. What she found in the woods, and expresses with such tender joy in this heartfelt memoir, was nothing less than salvation.”—Eugenia Bone, author of Mycophilia and Microbia

Losing a father can be absolutely wrenching. This insightful guide tells the story of the strong connections between daughters and dads throughout life, and the consequential grief and loss a daughter feels when her father dies. Stories from 50 women offer glimpses into the many aspects of father/daughter relationships that are warm and nurturing, sometimes complicated and conflicted, and always solid and enduring. The Italian American women interviewed ultimately find great peace and meaning in the on-going relationship with their fathers, even after death. Using these women’s stories, the readers are presented a multi-faceted discussion filled with amusement, complexity and intensity, struggle and resistance, and above all, remarkably powerful family bonds. The daughters’ reactions to the passing of their fathers display the strength of relationships built over many years, as well as the spiritual and emotional framework that shapes the lives of many Italian American women today.

Grief's Garden is a true story of a common man facing uncommon circumstances . His high school sweetheart and mother of his four young children loses her battle with cancer . The struggle to move on with supporting and raising his young family while trying to become whole again as an individual encounters many frustrating obstacles especially when trying to blend families. The 20 year journey climaxes in heartbreak when 3 of his adult children estrange themselves and their children from their father/grandfather. In search of answers and a path to reconciliation he explores the underlying issues of Pathological Grief, detachment, entitlement and arrested development drawing upon professional counsel and religious faith. He shares the devastating effects of estrangement, a silent epidemic facing many families who are struggling privately with the pain, helplessness and embarrassment of a nearly taboo subject in today's society....ending with thoughts on surviving the darkness of the resulting depression that walks hand in hand with estrangement

A Portable Support Group for Parents Who Have Lost a Child “A variety of backgrounds and circumstances, along with a shared dedication to speak out on a notoriously unspeakable loss, make this brave volume cathartic and comforting; grieving parents may well find it invaluable.”—Publisher’s Weekly (Starred Review) Every year, some two million parents in the US suffer the death of a son or daughter. The unnatural sequence of the child's preceding the parent in death creates a wrenching loss and overwhelming emotional and spiritual disorientation. Most of these bereaved parents find relief from their isolation only in the company of others like themselves. The Grieving Garden offers support, understanding, and, ultimately, comfort and hope from those who have sowed the same tears over the death of a child. The Grieving Garden is a ground-breaking book that invites bereaved parents into personal conversations with a diverse group of fathers and mothers who share the same loss. The text is free of distracting and heavy-handed editorializing, "expert" opinion, or unwanted advice. Instead, readers are welcomed into a community of common understanding one they may enter at will, at their own pace, for reassurance and hope.