The Hypochondriac S Pocket Guide To Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have

Hypochondriacs can now fret appropriately and factually with this pocket guide to more than 40 disgusting, horrible diseases. All entries include symptoms, a diagnosis guide, treatment suggestions, a prognosis, and—if you are not yet infected—prevention tips. Do you suffer from insomnia? Not good…soon your whole body might attack your brain. Are you bothered by a persistent fever and swelling? Beware…maggots are likely crawling beneath your skin. Have you noticed skin tenderness and discoloration? Yikes…a small horn is probably going to sprout from your head. Because it's ultra-portable, you can (and probably should) have The Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have with you at all times so at the slightest onset of an unmistakably fatal-feeling itchy rash, you can simply whip out your trusty guide, conveniently diagnose yourself, and then let the worrying begin.

Giving neurotics everywhere something to worry about, The Paranoid's Pocket Guide to Mental Disorders You Can Just Feel Coming On profiles more than 40 of the most outrageous and yet eerily familiar psychological disorders—a fascinating array of obsessions, compulsions, phobias, fixations, and full-blown mental maladies. Every disorder is well documented, including common symptoms, causes, and treatment options, along with a handy quiz for easy self-diagnosis. And in case you can't tell whether or not you're losing it, each entry includes a sample inner monologue detailing the thought processes at play—because sometimes you don't know you're crazy until you see it in writing. Hot on the heels of the equally hilarious The Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have, the Paranoid's Guide will have even the most rational thinkers second-guessing their sanity.

Hypochondriacs have long had to satisfy their needs for self-diagnosis with medical reference materials written for the masses, but this revolutionary book is dedicated entirely to the hypochondriac's unique perspective on health. The world's worst maladies, conveniently organized by symptom (real or imagined), will ignite even the mildest hypochondriac's fantasy life. We're all going to die of something—why not choose an ailment that's rare and hard to pronounce?

Sure, everyone gets sick sometimes, but do you realize that plenty of those folks also die slow, unpleasant deaths from diseases that stumped even the experts at top-notch (still privately run) hospitals? That’s right: There are plenty of illnesses that even physicians have never heard about. Nodding Disease, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, and Cutaneous Horn (yes, you grow a horn) are all featured here in pithy, energetic entries. You won’t have to worry about socialized medicine if you have this book—even if your doc could see you within a month, you might die due to his ignorance. Lucky for you and your loved ones, Ian Landau (who has no medical training but is a hell of a researcher) includes: Descriptions of each disease Background and history How to diagnose yourself and others Suggested treatments Prevention methods The book is not for the faint of heart, as it probably could cause cardiac arrest. (And you ain’t coming back from that without Ian’s help.)

If there is one thing that can help relieve health anxiety, it's finding out that you're not alone. Do you constantly get anxious about your health and seek reassurance? Have you found yourself analysing every single sensation in your body? Are you spending time on the internet always looking for answers? Do you have heart palpatations that make you think you're having a heart attack? Does that impending heart attack give you a panic attack? Are you still not dead? You can rest assured it's not just you! Philip Martins was once a hypochondriac and has survived, among other things, cancer, motor neurone disease, meningitis, multiple sclerosis and having been bitten by a mosquito once, malaria. In this book he tells you how he got through his years of health anxiety, provides some anecdotes of his crazier times to cheer you up and gives you some tips all in the hope that it can bring a little relief to help you realise you're not alone. If you have health anxiety and are looking for something to relate to then this is the book for you

In tribute to the many splendors of human sexuality, The Deviant's Pocket Guide to the Outlandish Sexual Desires Barely Contained in Your Subconscious profiles over 40 of the wildest and woolliest sexual proclivities you'll ever find, even on the internet. The human race is a species of inventors. In our few millennia of existence, we've created fire, the wheel, the printing press, vaccines, and the internet. But never is our creativity more evident than when it comes time to reproduce. For nature lovers, there's Dendrophilia (you know, tree hugging). For car people, there's the Automotive Fetish. And for those people who love stuffed animals…you'll just have to look inside. Each entry in this one-of-a-kind encyclopediaexplores the psychological underpinnings, important logistics, and typical fantasies associated with the deviance in question. For the aspiring deviant, there's even a list of useful accoutrements. Hysterical and astonishingly thorough, The Deviant's Pocket Guide is the only reference book you'll ever need.

When every hiccup sounds like the call of doom, each stomach pang hints at incipient cancer, and a headache means it's time to firm up your last will and testament, The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death. provides just the relief you need. Gene Weingarten has spent his whole life immersed in the eclectic details of bizarre symptoms, self-diagnosing every minor ache as a potentially deadly disease. Weingarten examines: The mind of a hypochondriac How your doctor can kill you Ulcers and other visceral fears The snaps, crackles, and pops of your body that spell disaster Things that can take an eye out Interpreting DocSpeak Blending the neurotic anxieties of Woody Allen, the folksiness of Garrison Keillor, and the absurdist vision of Dave Barry, Gene Weingarten conjures up a hilarious prescription for the hypochondriac that lurks inside all of us.

'I Told You I Was Ill' provides an insight into the surprising history of hypochrondria and a humorous look at modern day hypochondriacs.