The Ladybird Book Of The Sickie

THE PERFECT GIFT for hardworking colleagues, who like to pull sickies. __________________________________ 'Lawrence and Ben are enjoying a bout of imaginary food poisoning. Food poisoning is always good because it's over quickly and nobody likes to hear stories about toilets.' __________________________________ 'When Jesse gets home from a very big party, he phones his manager and leaves a message. Now he does not have to get up early to call in sick. 'Calling the office at 3:07am is exactly what someone with a real cold would do,' Jesse thinks to himself as he falls asleep on his stairs with a kebab for a pillow.' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

Can you imagine a world where there aren't just the thirty-two Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups you've seen in your local bookshop or downstairs toilet but hundreds and hundreds more? If you can't, then this book is here to imagine it for you. Here is an enormous collection of helpful guides to everything from worryingly high cholesterol to worryingly high mortgages - from teenagers you can't understand to prizewinning novels you can't understand - all presented simply and colourfully, in a way that even the most jaded, exhausted, baffled grown-up can enjoy. 'This is such a good idea I'm currently experiencing all the physical sensations of anger because I didn't think of it, whereas Jason and Joel did, the shits.' Charlie Brooker 'I do not hasten to say that these books are the new Da Vinci Code.' Aisling Bea 'These books are small masterpieces. They make me glad I learned to read.' David Quantick 'HILARIOUS. Beserkly brilliant.' Mel Giedroye

THE PERFECT GIFT for the department. __________________________________ 'People at work spend a lot of the day in meetings. Meetings are important because they give everyone a chance to talk about work. Which is easier than doing it.' __________________________________ 'Rudd attends meetings remotely from his home office. He has three telephones, two Swiss desk intercoms, a fax machine and a wall-mounted theremin. Sometimes nobody speaks to him for days.' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone moving house or worried what them next door will get up to next . . . 'Logan is reporting his next-door neighbour to the police again. This time, it's for using a hairdryer before 8am. Last time, it was for trespass by blossom. 'You again,' says the duty sergeant, and gets the forms. _____________ 'Rachel and Robert's neighbour Mrs Vavasour has complained to the council about their hedge, their cat and the colour of their front door. The morning after Rachel left her hair straighteners plugged in, Mrs Vavasour complains to the council that she was kept awake by a bright, flickering orange light and the sound of exploding wood.' This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist

THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone who likes a glass of red. And a double gin. And a vodka shot. And a flaming tequila. And a candy floss caipirinha . . . and a small Bahama Mama. __________________________________ 'A good hangover should be a total mystery to you. How did this happen? Why do you feel so ill? Pretend to yourself that you drank less than you did. Insist you stuck to beer, forgetting the champagne at the start of the evening and the round of jalapeno tequilas you did for a bet in that club next to the dual carriageway at 2am.' __________________________________ 'What a confusing world it can seem with a hangover. Sit as still as you can. Do not attempt to make any decisions. Look out of the window. Can you recognise simple shapes or colours? Is there a moon or a sun in the sky? What sort of a name might you have? Where might there be bacon?' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

THE PERFECT GIFT for people who value friendship, uncompromising love, dribble, chewed up furniture and miles and miles of walking to go to the toilet. __________________________________ 'The dog is often called a man's best friend. Dogs are reliable, loyal and loving, like all best friends. They also smell like a bobble hat full of corned beef that has been left on a parcel shelf of a locked car for a fortnight during a hot spell. But there are some things you don't mention to a best friend.' __________________________________ 'Once a week, Patsy vacuums up all the dog hair in her house. When she has finished the sofa she will do the carpets, inside the oven, in the powder tray of the washing machine, between the pages of the book she is reading, and behind the wallpaper. 'How did it get there?' laughs Patsy while coughing up a hair-ball.' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

THE PERFECT GIFT for unshakable rule abiding colleagues. __________________________________ 'Your call is important to us,' says the lady on the help-line. The call is important because it is currently making the company 48p per minute.' __________________________________ 'Sam has forgotten her password so she cannot access her e-mail account. She can reset her password using a memorable name, but she has forgotten her memorable name too, so the account locks. Sam automatically receives a link so she can reset her password. It is sent to her e-mail account.' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

THE PERFECT GIFT for the party animal . . . or at the very least, for that person you know who doesn't know when it's time to go home. ______________________ Every so often, it is nice to have a big night out. It is important to let your hair down. And for a friend to hold it out of the way later while you are sick. ______________________ Mandy has been looking forward to her big night out all week. She dances and drinks and laughs and sings. She feels like herself for the first time in days. Tomorrow every single thing she remembers doing will embarrass her to the point of physical agony. Mandy hates the real Mandy. ______________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist