The Mechanical Messiah And Other Marvels Of The Modern Age

Colonel Katterfelto has lately returned to London. He departed America under something of a cloud ... of smoke, issuing from his Spiritual Laboratory, which the townsfolk of Wormcast, Arizona, marched upon with their flaming torches. This catastrophic conflagration caused considerable concern to the pious colonel, who had been engaged in the creation of 'Heaven's last and best gift to Mankind', The Mechanical Messiah. And he was, after all, being guided in this Great Work by holy angels, communicating to him through his monkey butler, Darwin. It is 1897, twelve years since The War of the Worlds and two since Worlds War Two*. The British Empire encompasses Mars, and an uneasy peace exists between the peoples of Venus, Jupiter and Earth. In London there are many marvels of the modern age to be experienced. Amongst these is The Electric Alhambra Music Hall, where crowds thrill to The Earl Grey Whistle Test, a musical extravaganza featuring such top turns as Hayward's Acrobatic Kiwis, The Travelling Formbys and the newly-arrived Colonel Katterfelto's Clockwork Minstrels. But all is far from well in old Whitechapel, where a monster is once more abroad in the night-time streets, committing hideous acts of murder. Can this be the return of Jack the Ripper, or has something altogether unearthly materialised to spread fear, panic and mayhem? Something Hellishly evil? Famed consulting detective Cameron Bell is already on the case, but it may take nothing less than the New Messiah Himself to save London, The Empire and all of the solar system from the impending apocalypse! 'Stark raving genius' Observer *See The Japanese Devil Fish Girl and other Unnatural Attractions.

An epic in four movements, this is the third book in Robert Rankin's highly acclaimed meta-Victorian series. Comparable to Pratchett or Douglas Adams, the Father of Far Fetched Fiction has pulled out all of the stops with this riotous tale of wicked women, a dangerous detective and Darwin the educated ape. Lord Brentford has a dream. To create a Grand Exposition that will showcase The Wonders of the Worlds and encourage peace between the inhabited planets of Venus, Jupiter and Earth. Ernest Rutherford has a dream. To construct a time ship, powered by the large hadron collider he has built beneath the streets of London. Cameron Bell is England's greatest detective and he, too, has a dream. To solve the crime of the century before it takes place, without blowing up any more of London's landmarks. Darwin is a monkey butler and he also has a dream. To end Man's inhumanity to Monkey and bring a little joy into the world. Lavinia Dharkstorrm has a dream of her own. Although hers is more of a nightmare. To erase Man and Monkey alike from the face of the Earth and to hasten in the End of Days. Then there is the crime-fighting superlady, all those chickens from the past and the unwelcome arrival of The Antichrist. Things are looking rather grim on planet Earth.

The pickled Martian's tentacles are fraying at the ends and Professor Coffin's Most Meritorious Unnatural Attraction (the remains of the original alien autopsy, performed by Sir Frederick Treves at the London Hospital) is no longer drawing the crowds. It's 1895; nearly a decade since Mars invaded Earth, chronicled by H.G. Wells in THE WAR OF THE WORLDS. Wrecked Martian spaceships, back-engineered by Charles Babbage and Nikola Tesla, have carried the Queen's Own Electric Fusiliers to the red planet, and Mars is now part of the ever-expanding British Empire. The less-than-scrupulous sideshow proprietor likes Off-worlders' cash, so he needs a sensational new attraction. Word has reached him of the Japanese Devil Fish Girl; nothing quite like her has ever existed before. But Professor Coffin's quest to possess the ultimate showman's exhibit is about to cause considerable friction amongst the folk of other planets. Sufficient, in fact, to spark off Worlds War Two.

The purpose of this little book is to give a general idea of a few of the great achievements of our time. Within such a limited space it was impossible to even mention thousands more of the great inventions and triumphs which mark the rushing progress of the world in the present century; therefore, only those subjects have been treated which appeal with more than passing interest to all. For instance, the flying machine is engaging the attention of the old, the young and the middle-aged, and soon the whole world will be on the wing. Radium, "the revealer," is opening the door to possibilities almost beyond human conception. Wireless Telegraphy is crossing thousands of miles of space with invisible feet and making the nations of the earth as one. 'Tis the same with the other subjects, - one and all are of vital, human interest, and are extremely attractive on account of their importance in the civilization of today. Mighty, sublime, wonderful, as have been the achievements of past science, as yet we are but on the verge of the continents of discovery. Where is the wizard who can tell what lies in the womb of time? Just as our conceptions of many things have been revolutionized in the past, those which we hold to-day of the cosmic processes may have to be remodeled in the future.

There is big and evil magic abroad upon the face of the Earth. History has been changed. The Germans have won WWII. America is a nuclear wasteland. And worst of all, the breakfast menu at The Wife's Legs Café in Brentford is serving Bratwurst rather than the proper big boys' British banger. Something is Not Right. And when the world's all wrong and it needs setting right, who're you gonna call? Hugo Rune, that's who. A man who offers the world his genius, and asks only, in return, that the world cover his expenses. And so, with the aid of his faithful acolyte and companion Rizla, the guru's guru, also known as the hokus bloke, the Lad Himself and the Retromancer*, sets out to rewrite history the way it should be. Together they return to war-torn London, to solve the twelve cosmic conundra based on Hugo Rune's personal tarot deck, each one leading them closer to a final terrifying confrontation. They must match their wits against beautiful spies, advanced alien technology, killer robots and death rays, do battle with an ancient god, and come face to face once more with Hugo Rune's arch-enemy, the sinister Count Otto Black, all the while finding time to drink ale, talk the toot and dine out in some of London's swankiest eateries. Without ever paying the bill.

A monster in human form intends to turn Earth into a Necrosphere, a planet totally devoid of life. And there's a lost city of gold and there's millions of zombies, as well as gratuitous sex and violence, beautiful but dangerous dames, a trail of corpses-- and, of course, a really spectacular rooftop showdown.

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