The Pirates In An Adventure With Napoleon

From the author of The Pirates! In An Adventure with Scientists, now a major motion picture from Aardman Animations ad Sony Pictures

Bruised from a crushing disappointment at the Pirate of the Year Awards the Pirate Captain decides that perhaps it's time for a career change. Before long, his loyal crew, much to their dismay, find themselves en route to St Helena: a bleak speck of an island a thousand miles from anywhere. But the Captain's plan for a quiet life rearing bees is interrupted by the arrival of another visitor to the island - the recently deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Is the island's twenty-eight mile circumference big enough to contain two of history's greatest egos? Has the Pirate Captain finally met his match? And who has the best hat? The Pirates! In an Adventure with Napoleon is an exciting, unputdownable tale of lavish tea parties, planning regulations, educational museum exhibits, and raw naked political ambition. There is not much ham in this one.

It's come to my attention that the old girl's a little bit past her best. And I can hardly maintain my reputation as a terror of the high seas with bits falling off the boat all the time, can I? The Pirate Captain is in trouble. Eager to appease his crew with a boat that has a functioning mast, fewer holes and cannons that actually fire, he splashes out on the fancy new Lovely Emma, spending six thousand doubloons he doesn't have. Finding themselves in debt to the beautiful but deadly Cutlass Liz - or the butcher of Barbados, as she's otherwise known - the pirates need to raise some money fast. In a desperate race against time our heroes embark on an adventure that will take them from the shores of Nantucket to the bright lights of Las Vegas, to the ends of the earth in search of a mythical white whale, and even, perhaps, into the dark depths of madness. But hopefully they'll be home in time for tea.

I've been thinking of an adventure more along the lines of pearl-smuggling in the South Seas or discovering a lost continent. We're being sponsored, you see, so it's got to be full of glamorous locations and scantily clad women. He's conquered the seven seas, hunted Moby Dick and rescued Charles Darwin; now the Pirate Captain and his crew are off on another adventure. Their mission this time: to sail to London, buy a new suit for the Pirate Captain and maybe have some sort of adventure in a barnyard. But nothing is ever straightforward for the hapless pirates. In no time at all, the Pirate Captain is incarcerated at Scotland Yard in a case of mistaken identity. Discovering that his doppelganger is none other than Karl Marx, the Captain and his crew are unwittingly caught up in a sinister plot involving communists, enormous beards and a quest to discover whether ham might really be the opium of the people.

Just make sure we've got plenty of hams on board. I didn't really enjoy our last adventure much because we ran out of hams about halfway through. And what's my motto? I like ham! It is 1837, and for the luxuriantly bearded Pirate Captain and his rag-tag pirate crew, life on the high seas has gotten a little dull. With nothing to do but twiddle their hooks and lounge aimlessly on tropical beaches, the Captain decides it's time they had an adventure. A surprisingly successful boat raid leads them to the young Charles Darwin, in desperate need of their help. And so the pirates set forth for London in a bid to save the scientist from the evil machinations of a diabolical Bishop. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, the Elephant Man - and have an exciting trip to the zoo.

1837: the Victorian Era approaches and the golden age of piracy draws to a close. Worried that his pirates are growing bored of roaring, running people through, and sitting about on tropical beaches, the Pirate Captain decides it's time they had an adventure. A chance encounter with the young Charles Darwin leads the Captain and his crew to the fog-filled streets of London, a grisly murder and a diabolical Bishop ...

Whilst visiting their bank manager on the shores of Lake Geneva, the Pirate Captain and his crew encounter no less than the literary giants of their age: the swaggering Lord Byron, the oddly shifty Percy Shelley - and his beautiful young fiancée, Mary. Together they embark upon a journey that leads them away from Switzerland into the bowels of Oxford, and finally to the forbidding heart of eastern Europe. It is an adventure that will force the Pirate Captain to confront some important questions, namely: what is the secret behind his mysterious belly tattoo? Is 'Zombuloid, the corpse-beast' a better name for a monster than 'Gorgo: Half-man, half-seaweed'? And, most importantly - what happens when a pirate finally falls in love? Women in diaphanous nighties running down corridors! Brooding men with dark hair! Sinister taxidermy! Ghostly banging noises! The Pirates! In An Adventure with the Romantics contains all these things, as well as a bit where the Captain dresses up as a sexy fireman.

“William Dietrich is a born stylist, moving characters around on an historical chessboard with the assured hand of a master novelist firing on all cylinders. Ethan Gage is a wiry, battle-scarred hero, with great decency, who rings absolutely true.” —Steve Berry, New York Times bestselling author of The Jefferson Key From New York Times bestselling author William Dietrich, a rollicking adventure in the popular Ethan Gage series, following Napoleon’s Pyramids, The Rosetta Key, and The Dakota Cypher. From the man Library Journal calls “a leader among historical novelists” comes a grand adventure, featuring a hero as memorable as Indiana Jones or George MacDonald Fraser’s Sir Harry Flashman. American explorer, adventurer, and lover Ethan Gage has braved the sands of Egypt, the perils of the Atlantic Ocean, and the harsh wilderness of early America. Now he finds himself in a desperate race with a powerful band of North African Muslim outlaws. The prize is the Mirror of Archimedes, an ancient superweapon that now, in 1802, could tip the balance of power in the Mediterranean. Can Ethan rescue his lost love, Astiza, without betraying the cause of his own United States? Can he save the two-year-old son he only recently learned of without allowing the fiendish Egyptian Rite to dominate the world? And when the sun rises on the Mirror of Archimedes, will everything Ethan cares about go up in flames? Racing from the brothels of Paris to the canals of Venice to the dungeons of Tripoli, Gage will face his ultimate reckoning on the high seas—as he battles to prevent the destruction of the American, English, and French fleets at the ruthless hands of . . . The Barbary Pirates!