The Stupidest Things Ever Said By Politicians

...A nonpartisan hall of shame featuring the idiotic utterances, ridiculous slogans, mixed metaphors, and lame excuses that have fallen from the mouths of our fearless leaders around the world, and from the present and past (because stupidity knows no age).

Following the success of Business Babble, the award-winning journalist and the highly regarded illustrator have again collaborated to bring you a collection of the 1,000 most silly, stupid, arrogant, offensive, racist and just plain dumb remarks politicians have ever placed on public record. Subjects covered range from war, peace and economics to ``Bushisms'' and ``Quayludes.''

A collection of quotes by Democratic politicians over the past decades. For ex.: We crossed paths. Are there pictures of us dancing on a bar together? No. I don't have that,Ó Sen. John Kerry on his run-ins with George W. Bush, a Yale classmate. Being pres. is like running a cemetery: You've got a lot of people under you, & nobody's listening,Ó Bill Clinton. Flip the book over & you will find a similar collect. of quotes by Repub. For ex.: What does an actor know about politics?,Ó Ronald Reagan, criticizing Ed Asner for opposing Amer. foreign policy. You can't be pres. of the U.S. if you don't have faith. Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial & the Civil War & all that stuff.Ó George Bush, to empl. of an insur. co. during the 1992 NH pres. primary.

A hilarious bipartisan collection of rants, malapropisms, doublespeak, and just plain idiocy from lifelong politicians and Washington wannabes. Whether it's a Republican mayor on crime -- "The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe (Frank Rizzo) -- or his Democratic counterpart on the same subject -- "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country" (Marion Barry) -- political discourse is often off-course, not to mention unintentionally hilarious. Wickedly funny when read from either direction, this book presents both Republican stupidity ("Approximately 80 percent of our air pollution stems from vegetation"-- Ronald Reagan) and matching head-slappers from Democrats ("For those who died [in the San Francisco earthquake], their lives will never be the same again" -- Barbara Boxer). The 267 Stupidest Things . . is the perfect antidote to election-year bombast.

"I was dramatically shaped by my grandmother and my aunts because they convinced me there was always a cookie available. Deep down inside I'm four years old, and I wake up and think out there, there's a cookie. Every morning I'm going, you know, either it can be baked or it's already been bought, but it's in a jar . . . somewhere. . . ." — Newt Gingrich in 1994, from his Renewing American Civilization Lecture Series Picking up where its hilarious predecessor left off, this wickedly witty new treasure trove of outbursts, bon mots, and miscalculations draws from every corner of the political arena: foreign affairs, the White House, the scandals, the media, the campaign trail, and more. The laughs come from politicians past and present, including Republican presidential hopefuls Bob ("I don't think I'm mean. I don't throw things at my wife or staff.") Dole and Phil ("I'm carrying so much pork I'm beginning to get trichinosis.") Gramm. David Olive proves beyond a doubt that oral ineptitude knows no political affiliation, and that even history's most revered politicians could, at times, put foot firmly in mouth. The great Sir Thomas More once said, "Anyone who deliberately tries to get himself elected to public office is permanently disqualified from holding one." After reading this priceless compendium, we're sure you'll agree. Or perhaps President Clinton's campaign adviser, Paul Begala, put it best: "Politics is show business for ugly people." "Well, I don't have much job security." — Bill Clinton, on why he still plays the saxophone "If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle." — Hillary Clinton "I understand my critics are fixated and pathologically disoriented, but they are my opponents. Why should I try to correct them?" — Newt Gingrich "We've never had a president named Bob. And I think it's time." — Bob Dole "I've got a lot to learn about Washington. Why, yesterday I accidentally spent some of my own money." — Senator Fred Thompson "Let me win the election and after that you come ask me questions about how I run a government." — Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien "Last year I was Bambi, this year Stalin. From Disneyland to dictatorship in twelve short months." — British Labor Party Leader Tony Blair

From the moment a Founding Father first asked for a vote, politicians have been saying dumb stuff. From George Washington to George Bush (both of them!) right on to present-day pundits like Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, and Hillary Clinton, political leaders can always be counted on to say funny, exasperating, and nonsensical things, often unintentionally. In Sh*t Politicians Say, Jesse Ventura shares the most entertaining and disturbing “thoughts” from his political brethren, including these winners: “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.” —Donald Trump “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.” —Ronald Reagan “I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.” —Arnold Schwarzenegger “I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.” —Dan Quayle “A zebra does not change its spots.” —Al Gore “People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I’m not a crook. I’ve earned everything I’ve got.” —Richard Nixon “Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.” —former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld “I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.” —George W. Bush From bigoted statements to outright lies . . . flip-flopping to just TMI, Sh*t Politicians Say will provide readers with a welcome respite from the presidential campaigns.

A hilarious bipartisan collection of rants, malapropisms, doublespeak, and just plain idiocy from lifelong politicians and Washington wannabes. Whether it's a Republican mayor on crime -- "The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe (Frank Rizzo) -- or his Democratic counterpart on the same subject -- "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country" (Marion Barry) -- political discourse is often off-course, not to mention unintentionally hilarious. Wickedly funny when read from either direction, this book presents both Republican stupidity ("Approximately 80 percent of our air pollution stems from vegetation"-- Ronald Reagan) and matching head-slappers from Democrats ("For those who died [in the San Francisco earthquake], their lives will never be the same again" -- Barbara Boxer). The 267 Stupidest Things . . is the perfect antidote to election-year bombast.

A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.