Unidentified Funny Objects 9

The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! In this volume you'll find: * Overworked fairies distributing swords. * Alien yeti slackers * Elf bakers * Absconded books * Superhero dance battles * Matchmakers ... in spaaace! This anthology contains the following stories: "The Hero of Small Things" by Amanda Saville "Chai Noon" by Esther Friesner "If Pages Could Blush" by Kyle A. Massa "The Time Loop Device is Counting Down" by Beth Goder "Crouching Swan Hidden Polka" by Jim C Hines "Sgt. Yeti" by Gini Koch "The Great Beyond Commands" by John Wiswell "The Second Wish" by James Beamon "These Three Aliens Walk into a Bar" by Simon R. Green "Our Most Sincere Apologies to the People of Brazil" by Jane Espenson "Liability Insurance Policy for Immortals, Cryptids, and Other Magical Beings: Annual Newsletter" by Tina Connolly "The Shadchen of Venus" by Lavie Tidhar "Cory Sucks" by Auston Habershaw "Sunnyside Daycare Employees' Chat Log, Post Alien Takeover" by Amanda Helms "Cooking Up Trouble" by C. Flynt "Right to Remain Silent" by Jody Lynn Nye "Auntie Elsie's Compleat Guide to Heartbreak" by Tim Pratt "The Troll Bridge" by Adam Gaylord "Do Gumshoes Dream of Electric Sleep" by Dave Vierling "Hell's Bureaucracy" by David Hankins "A Crisis of Fate" by Zach Shephard

29 hilarious science fiction & fantasy stories from some of today's best speculative writers. Inside you'll find: - A zombear - Tweeting aliens - Down-on-their-luck vampires - Time-twisting belly dancers - Moon Nazis - Stoned computers - Omnivorous sex-maniac pandas - and a spell-casting Albert Einstein

Anthology of humorous science fiction and fantasy.

SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! * Superheroes mired in government bureaucracy. * Cat cat-burglars. * Grandmotherly golems. * Literal-minded self-driving cars. * Evil overlords retired in Florida. * Indifferent aliens.

The fourth volume of the annual Unidentified Funny Objects series features the theme of dark humor. What happens when you ask some of the genre's masters to interpret this theme? The enclosed twenty-three darkly humorous tales range from black comedy to biting satire to morbid irony and everything in between. Inside this book you'll find Faustian bargains gone awry, time-traveling ghosts, flawed supervillains, talking hamsters, and much more. Featuring stories by: George R. R. Martin Neil Gaiman Andrew Kaye Caroline M. Yoachim Esther Friesner Brent C. Smith Laura Pearlman Tim Pratt Piers Anthony Ian Creasey Oliver Buckram Anaea Lay Karen Haber Eric Kaplan Jody Lynn Nye Tina Gower Zach Shephard Mike Resnick James Aquilone Michael J. Martinez Tina Connolly Gini Koch Jonathan Ems

SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR * Cranky Goblin Cooks * Unscrupulous Chemists * Lecherous Space Pirates * Disagreeable Alien Symbiotes * Soul-Searching Snot Elementals The Unidentified Funny Objects series serves an annual dose of funny. zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! Our sixth volume features a Mad Amos story by Alan Dean Foster, a Harry the Book tale by Mike Resnick, and an Alexander Outland short by Gini Koch. Jim Hines reimagines a Game of Thrones with goblins in it, Ken Liu begs a sentient AI to spare him, and Esther Friesner takes us on a tour of Chelm, complete with dragons and gratuitous footnotes. There are also tales of an interdimensional secret agent, a warrior-writer on a quest from an evil god, a necromancer intent on rehabilitating the image of his profession, and many more. TABLE OF CONTENTS Foreword by Alex Shvartsman “A Game of Goblins” by Jim C. Hines “The Breakdown of Parasite/Host Relationship” by Paul R. Hardy “From This She Makes a Living?” by Esther Friesner “Twenty-Nine Responses to Inquiries About My Craigslist Post: Alien Spaceship for Sale $200, You Haul” by Tina Connolly “Tyler the Snot Elemental Scours the Newspaper, Searching for Change” by Zach Shephard “Agent of Chaos” by Jack Campbell “Display of Affection” by P. J. Sambeaux “The Great Manhattan Eat-Off” by Mike Resnick “An Evil Opportunity Employer” by Lawrence Watt-Evans “Common Scents” by Jody Lynn Nye “A Mountain Man and a Cat Walk into a Bar” by Alan Dean Foster “Lost and Found” by Laura Resnick “A Crawlspace Full of Prizes” by Bill Ferris “Return to Sender” by Melissa Mead “The Friendly Necromancer” by Rod M. Santos “An Open Letter to the Sentient AI Who Has Announced Its Intention to Take Over the Earth” by Ken Liu “Approved Expense” by David Vierling “Alexander Outland: Space Jockey” by Gini Koch “Dear Joyce” by Langley Hyde “Impress Me, Then We’ll Talk About the Money” by Tatiana Ivanova (translated from Russian by Alex Shvartsman)

UFO2 is the second annual collection of humorous science fiction and fantasy short stories. Inside you'll find: - A golem on an interstellar cruise ship - Dragon-taunting for fun and profit - Time travel gone really wrong - Cubicle farm wizardry - Alien behemoths in Central Park

SCIENCE FICTION. FANTASY. HUMOR.This is the third annual volume of Unidentified Funny Objects and it contains twenty-three humorous short stories from some of the genre's best-known authors, as well as talented up-and-comers.These are some of the unlikely characters you will encounter in the pages of this book:* Hobo Satan* Vampire novelist* Traveling robot salesman* Brain-in-a-jar superhero* Jinn trapped in a mattress