Wholeness After Betrayal

In the wake of misconduct by trusted clergy and lay leaders, members of congregations find themselves adrift. Often there are deep divisions within the church and open, direct, honest communication ceases. Wholeness After Betrayal offers an understanding of these dynamics and a process to help members take the first steps toward reconciling relationships with one another. This specialized instruction is tested and proven, having been used effectively many times in a variety of congregational settings. It holds tremendous value for institutional healing, both immediately following misconduct or even decades later.

In the wake of misconduct by trusted clergy and lay leaders, members of congregations find themselves adrift. Often there are deep divisions within the church and open, direct, honest communication ceases. Wholeness After Betrayal offers an understanding of these dynamics and a process to help members take the first steps toward reconciling relationships with one another. This specialized instruction is tested and proven, having been used effectively many times in a variety of congregational settings. It holds tremendous value for institutional healing, both immediately following misconduct or even decades later.

Other books have been written about clergy misconduct and its effects on congregations. Some are by victims. Others are written by professionals for a professional audience. Until now, however, there hasn't been a book for the congregational leaders who must deal with the fallout of clergy misconduct. Both the afterpastors--the interim or settled pastors who follow misconducting pastors--and lay leaders need guidance about how to assess and effectively respond to the misconduct, how to care for the victim/survivor, and how to carry out the mission and ministry to which the congregation has been called.

Meg is a lantern guiding women through the twists and turns along this pain-filled path. --Lynn Marie Cherry, speaker and author of Keep Walking: 40 Days to Hope and Freedom After Betrayal Meg Wilson watched her world fall apart when her husband confessed to years of sexual addiction. She has intimate knowledge of the devastation that follows--and she has come through the other side. In her groundbreaking Hope After Betrayal, Meg provides reassuring counsel, compassionate insight, and wise direction. By sharing her story, talking to other women who've been in a similar situation, and turning to Scripture, Wilson has helped countless readers through the steps to recovery--and shows how you can follow that same path out of the darkness. This newly revised and expanded edition includes new lessons Meg has learned over the last decade. A compelling final chapter by Meg's husband sheds further light on the difficult road to healing from sexual addiction, and a thoughtful new appendix addresses the effect sexual addiction has on children in the home. Hope After Betrayal is a strong and sure lifeline that thousands of women will reach for in a drowning moment. Meg offers careful, clear direction and encouragement in each chapter while unveiling the truth about sexual addiction...This valuable tool should be required reading for every wife and every mother of sons." --Robin Jones Gunn, best-selling author of the Sisterchicks Series

A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner's compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will gain clarity; reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction; feel more empowered and in control of their lives; discover whether or not their relationship with the addict is salvageable. Vicki Tidwell Palmer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) in private practice in Houston, Texas. She is the author of the blog for partners Survival Strategies for Partners of Sex Addicts.

When tragedy strikes a community, it is often unexpected with long-lasting effects on the people left in its wake. Too often, there aren’t adequate systems in place to aid those affected in processing what has happened. This study uniquely combines practical theology, pastoral insight and scientific data to demonstrate how Christian congregations can be helped to be resilient in the face of sudden devastating events. Beginning by identifying the characteristics of trauma in individuals and communities, this collection of essays from practitioners and academics locates sudden trauma-inducing tragedies as a problem in practical theology. A range of biblical and theological responses are presented, but contemporary scientific understanding is also included in order to challenge and stretch some of these traditional theological resources. The pastoral section of the book examines the ethics of response to tragedy, locating the role of the minister in relation to other helping agencies and exploring the all-too-topical issue of ministerial abuse. Developing a nuanced rationale for good practical, pastoral, liturgical and theological responses to major traumas, this book will be of significant value to scholars of practical theology as well as practitioners counselling in and around church congregations.

A Comprehensive Christian Resource for Treating Sexual Addiction and Problematic Sexual Behavior An estimated three to five percent of the U.S. population meet the criteria for sexual addiction, and many more engage in problematic sexual behavior or have been harmed by it. The statistics are startling: 77% of Christian men between 18 and 30 watch pornography monthly 35% of Christian men have had an extramarital affair 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls have been sexually abused Americans spend $13 billion a year on pornography, the regular viewing of which is linked to higher acceptance of violence against women and adversarial sexual beliefs. Therapists and pastors are not always adequately equipped to address the unique demands of competent care for those struggling with sexually addictive behaviors. Reclaiming Sexual Wholeness, edited by Todd Bowman, presents cutting-edge research from a diverse group of experts in a single, comprehensive resource intended for therapists, clergy, and others in helping professions. Contributors include Forest Benedict, Bill Bercaw, Ginger Bercaw, Todd Bowman, Marnie Ferree, Floyd Godfrey, Joshua Grubbs, Josh Hook, Fr. Sean Kilcawley, Debbie Laaser, Mark Laaser, Kevin Skinner, Bill Struthers, and Curt Thompson Reclaiming Sexual Wholeness moves beyond rote cognitive-behavioral approaches and treating sexual addictions solely as lust, adopting a biopsychosocial perspective that incorporates insights from attachment theory and interpersonal neurobiology. The result is a thoroughly faith-integrated, up-to-date resource useful for the classroom, ongoing professional studies, and as a counseling resource.

Have you been traumatized by infidelity? The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to: • work through conflicting emotions • Understand yourself and your partner • Make important life decisions Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling, and explores heart-wrenchingly familiar case studies of couples struggling with monogamy. By the end of this book, you will have completed the six stages of healing and emerged with a whole heart, a full spirit, and the freedom to love again.