Zeus Is A Dick

In the beginning, everything was fine.* And then along came Zeus. *more or less Ahh Greek myths. Those glorious tales of heroism, honour and... petty squabbles, soap-opera drama and more weird sex than Fifty Shades of Grey could shake a stick at! It's about time we stopped respecting myths and started laughing at them. Did you know Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, was born of some discarded genitals? Or that Hera threw her own son off a mountain because he was ugly? Or that Apollo once kidnapped a boat full of people while pretending to be a dolphin? And let's not even get started on Zeus - king of the gods, ruler of the skies and a man who's never heard of self-control. In fact, if there's one thing most Greek myths have in common, it's that all the drama could have been avoided if SOMEONE could keep it in their toga... Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin takes us on a hilarious romp through mythology and the many times the gods (literally) screwed everything up! Stephen Fry's Mythos by way of Drunk History, Zeus is a Dick is perfect for those who like their myths with a heavy dollop of satire. 'Who knew mythology was so bonkers? I am grateful - it had me laughing from the first page to the last.' - Miranda Hart 'It's about time someone called him out on all this' - Hera, goddess of marriage, wife of Zeus 'Worst. Father. Ever.' - Artemis, goddess of the hunt, daughter of Zeus 'Oh yeah, focus on him. I never did anything wrong. Nothing to see here' - Poseidon, god of the seas, brother of Zeus 'Just a real dick, honestly' - Many, many people

“Masterful . . . an epic tale of backbiting, shady deal-making, and greed [that] reads like a John Grisham novel.”—The Wall Street Journal A real-life legal thriller as timeless as a Greek tragedy, tracing the downfall of one of America’s most famous lawyers and exposing the dark side of Southern politics—from the author of When Evil Lived in Laurel Dickie Scruggs was arguably the most successful plaintiff’s lawyer in America. A brother-in-law of former U.S. Senate majority leader Trent Lott, Scruggs made a fortune taking on mass tort lawsuits against Big Tobacco and the asbestos industries. He was hailed by Newsweek as a latter-day Robin Hood and was portrayed in the movie The Insider as a dapper aviator-lawyer. Scruggs’s legal triumphs rewarded him lavishly, and his success emboldened both his career maneuvering and his influence in Southern politics—but at a terrible cost, culminating in his spectacular fall, when he was convicted for conspiring to bribe a Mississippi state judge. Based on extensive interviews, transcripts, and FBI recordings never made public, The Fall of the House of Zeus uncovers the Washington legal games and power politics: the swirl of fixed cases, blocked investigations, judicial tampering, and a zealous prosecution that would eventually ensnare not only Scruggs but his own son, Zach, in the midst of their struggle with insurance companies over Hurricane Katrina damages. Featuring Trent Lott and Jim Biden, brother of then-Senator Joe Biden, in supporting roles, with cameos by John McCain, Al Gore, and other Washington insiders, Curtis Wilkie’s account of this uniquely American tragedy reveals the seedy underbelly of institutional power.

Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

Nine months ago, Zeus's murder catapulted the Greek gods back into our world. Now, the Greek gods revel in their new temples, casinos and media empires - all except Apollo. There may be hope to get them under control and back where they belong, if Apollo can return Zeus to life! Unfortunately, whoever murdered Zeus will certainly kill again to prevent his return.

Romantic Comedy about Greek Gods Selfish and gorgeous Greek God Triton is cast out of Olympus after seducing Zeus' mistress and can only gain reentry if he finds a woman who loves him for his kindness and selflessness, not his beauty. When the mortal Sophia - recovering from an eye operation and virtually blind - needs a home healthcare worker, he takes on the role, hoping she will be his ticket home. While defending Sophia from an unknown adversary, Triton's protective instinct emerges. At the same time rival Gods do everything to doom him to failure. And even if Triton can win Sophia's love, will he throw it away to return home, or will he lose his own heart to the only woman who truly sees him? A Touch of Greek is the first book in the humorous paranormal romance series Out of Olympus following the romantic adventures of four Gods: Triton, Dionysus, Eros, and Hermes. Scanguards Vampires Series: Book 1: Samson's Lovely Mortal Book 2: Amaury's Hellion Book 3: Gabriel's Mate Book 4: Yvette's Haven Book 5: Zane's Redemption Out of Olympus Series: Book 1: A Touch of Greek Book 2: A Scent of Greek Venice Vampyr Series: Book 1: Venice Vampyr Book 2: Venice Vampyr – Final Affair Book 3: Venice Vampyr – Sinful Treasure Bundle (Novellas 1 – 3): Venice Vampyr – The Beginning Other Books: Lawful Escort

Who cut off Medusa's head? Who was raised by a she-bear? Who tamed Pegasus? It takes a demigod to know, and Percy Jackson can fill you in on the all the daring deeds of Perseus, Atalanta, Bellerophon, and the rest of the major Greek heroes. Told in the funny, irreverent style readers have come to expect from Percy, ( I've had some bad experiences in my time, but the heroes I'm going to tell you about were the original old school hard luck cases. They boldly screwed up where no one had screwed up before. . .) and enhanced with vibrant artwork by Caldecott Honoree John Rocco, this story collection will become the new must-have classic for Rick Riordan's legions of devoted fans--and for anyone who needs a hero. So get your flaming spear. Put on your lion skin cape. Polish your shield and make sure you've got arrows in your quiver. We're going back about four thousand years to decapitate monsters, save some kingdoms, shoot a few gods in the butt, raid the Underworld, and steal loot from evil people. Then, for dessert, we'll die painful tragic deaths. Ready? Sweet. Let's do this.

Tells the story of Zeus and his battle with his father, Kronos, and the Titans. In graphic novel format.

***THE TIMES TOP TEN BESTSELLER*** 'A dazzling psychological thriller' Sunday Times 'Deliciously sinister and obsessive ... with one hell of a twist' Observer 'Twist follows twist, like The Red Shoes rewritten by Patricia Highsmith' Mail on Sunday 'It seems so effortless .. it's brilliant and you really do not guess what's coming' Virgin Radio, Graham Norton 'Expect deceit, duplicity and one hell of a twist!' RED 'Kelly's best yet ... Genius twists and turns' Good Housekeeping 'Erin Kelly is at the top of her game. A seriously clever, and humane, novel' SARAH VAUGHAN I WATCHED HER RISE Ava has devoted her life to being the best at what she does. Now she's at the top, she has the world at her feet. I TRACKED HER EVERY MOVE Except, the feeling of success isn't what Ava expected. She's lonely and paranoid - and terrified. Because someone is watching her. A rival who wants what she has and is prepared to kill to get it. AND NOW I'LL WATCH HER FALL FURTHER PRAISE: 'Kelly's depiction of this claustrophobic and ambitious world is brutally convincing ... You don't have to be a dance expert to enjoy it' Daily Mail 'Psychological crime is the speciality of Erin Kelly, and Watch Her Fall is a prime example of her work ... bravura fare' Barry Forshaw, Financial Times 'A captivating hall of mirrors of a novel, where nothing and no one is as they seem' PAULA HAWKINS 'From the first page I was wrapped up in Ava's swooping, all-consuming passion and totally gripped by the explosive twists which held me to the very last page' ADELE PARKS 'Most ambitious and captivating book to date . . . so thrilling and unexpected that it made my head spin' LISA JEWELL 'Watch Her Fall is not only a cleverly plotted, beautifully written thriller; it is also a mesmerising glimpse behind the curtain into a world few of us will ever see' CLARE MACKINTOSH 'Superbly dark, gloriously twisted and utterly seductive - this is Erin Kelly at her mind-bending best' RUTH WARE 'Beautifully dark and complex. So good!' JANE FALLON 'A thrilling high-wire of twists and switchbacks' MARIAN KEYES 'The plot twists are abundant, the prose eloquent and vivid' Daily Express