Build A Co Parenting Team

Note: links below connect to the non-profit educational Break the Cycle! Web site (Formerly "Stepfamily inFormation"). Close the pages or use your browser ́s "back" button to return here. Typical multi-home stepfamilies are riddled with conflicts between three or more co-parents and their relatives over child discipline, nutrition, visitations, custody, hygiene, religion, schooling, hoidays, loyalties, expenses, names, responsibilities, and other topics. The scope, complexity, and persistence of these disputes among ex mates, stepparents, and relatives can significantly contribute to eventual re/divorce. (The "/" notes it may be a stepparent ́s first union). This guidebook is part of a series intended to help co-parents and supporters overcome five common hazards that combine to (1) promote epidemic U.S. re/divorce, and (2) pass on significant psychological wounds to vulnerable children. The hazards are: co-parents ́ shared unawarenesses and ignorance of key information; plus... unseen psychological wounds from low-nurturance childhoods; plus... incomplete or blocked grief in kids and/or adults, which inhibits new bonds and adult intimacy; plus... courtship neediness and romantic illusions; plus... little informed stepfamily help in the media and local community. Typical nuclear stepfamilies include three or more co-parents (bioparents and stepparents) and several minor kids shuttling between two or more homes: Parenting effectively in this environment is far more complex than in "traditional" intact biological families - which catches typical co-parents and relatives by surprise. Why this book (and series)? Families exist to nurture - i.e. to fill key needs of their kids and adults. Most U.S. stepfamilies follow the divorce of one or both new mates, most of whom are parents. Divorce suggests that their kids weren ́t well nurtured in their first family, and have many concurrent developmental + special needs to fill in their complex stepfamily.

In divorce and co-parenting, not only do parents need to deal with their own emotions, they may be faced with a daily barrages of hostile calls, texts, social media blasts, and/or emails. How can you regain a sense of control and peace for your own sake and for the kids? For more than a decade, the BIFF method of responding to hostile and misinforming emails, texts and conversations, has grown in use by thousands of people dealing with a person with a high conflict personality. This third book in the BIFF Communication series is especially devoted to parents dealing with issues in and after separation and divorce as they co-parent their children, complete with instructions in the four-step BIFF method and numerous examples for dealing with co-parent situations. When parents use this approach, not only do they feel good about their end of the written or verbal conversation, but it tends to influence the other parent to communicate more productively as well. While it's simple and practical, it's not natural for most of us because we are hooked by the emotional intensity. This book can help you reduce the conflict and regain your sanity by learning what to write and what not to write. Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm. The BIFF is a communication game changer--it works!

Note: hyperlinks below will take you to the Break the Cycle! Website (formerly "Stepfamily inFormation") that this book and series are based on. Use your browser ́s "back" button to return to Xlibris. This is the fourth volume in a series of six dedicated to breaking the epidemic [wounds + unawareness] cycle that promotes America ́s tragic divorce divorce epidemic. The prior volume, Stepfamily Courtship (Xlibris.com, 2002), outlines seven Projects to help courting couples make wise commitment decisions. This book for stepfamily coparents and supporters adds five more projects based on the prior seven ones. If couples didn't do the prior projects (which is common), they can start the first six any time. A sobering reality: if either partner made any unwise courtship choices, it's unlikely that doing these other 11 Projects will guard them and their dependents from the five hazards that promote psychological or legal re/divorce. Nonetheless, working at the the projects will give minor kids their best chance at avoiding inherited psychological wounds, and passing them on to their descendents like their unaware ancestors did. The five post-re/wedding co-parenting projects are: 8) Nourish your re/marriage and steadily keep it your second priority, after personal integrity and wholistic health - except in emrgencies. In complex multi-home stepfamilies this is hard for many couples to do; as they 9) Merge three or more multi-generational biofamilies, and evolve strategies to resolve inevitable values and loyalty conflicts and Persecutor-Victim-Rescuer relationship triangles; while you 10) (a) Build a co-parenting team with your kids' "other parents," (b) stay current on your kids' progress with their many developmental and adjustment needs, and (c) continually adjust and refine your co-parenting "job descriptions" based on your stepfamily mission statement. Because all nine of these ongoing co-parent projects are complex, confusing, and conflictual 11) Intentionally build a support network for you and your kids, and use it regularly. Finally 12) Help each other (a) stay balanced personally, re/maritally, and co-parentally each day, and (b) enjoy this whole challenging, en

"Tips for coparents to effectively build a working parenting relationship with each other and their children"--

Discover how attachment theory can help you better understand yourself and your ex, improve your co-parenting skills, and raise happy, emotionally secure kids! If you’re like most parents, you want—more than anything—for your child to feel safe, loved, and confident that their needs will be met. However, this can be difficult when you’re sharing custody with an ex. Instead of working together, you may feel at war with one another, and in the end, nobody wins—especially your child. So, how can you ensure that you and your ex are on the same page when it comes to co-parenting? With this unique and highly practical guide, you’ll learn the science of attachment theory, and how to apply it to your co-parenting relationship. Secure attachment refers to the bond between a parent and young child, which gives that child a stable and secure basis from which to negotiate life going forward. A child with a secure base can weather the storms of trauma and life changes —such as those caused by divorce—much more easily than a child who doesn’t. Co-parents who understand this principle have a significant advantage, because they can learn how to provide secure attachment for their child, even while no longer living under the same roof. You’ll learn the “principles of engagement” for successful co-parenting: Commitment: Create certainty in the midst of change by committing to show up and be present for your child, thereby creating trust and reducing anxiety. Collaboration: Work together, with a shared vision for co-parenting, to create win-win-wins for all. Clarity: Maintain clear, concise, calm, and timely communications, thereby minimizing misunderstandings and providing accountability. Consistency: Build consistent structures in both homes to create reliable and predictable environments. Connection: Co-parents stay present and mindful with their child to help them process their emotions and to build secure attachment. Community: Cultivate community and external support systems, thereby expanding the circle of love. Co-parenting is often difficult, and sometimes it can feel like a battle. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Using the insight and wisdom in this guide, you’ll learn how to build a solid and supportive co-parenting team. And the real winner will be your kid!

When a marriage ends, the most important thing divorcing parents can do is to help their children through this difficult transition and remain united as parents even if they are no longer united as a couple. In Parenting Apart divorce coach Christina McGhee offers practical advice on how to help children adjust and thrive during and after separation and divorce. She looks at all the different issues parents may face with their children of different ages, offering immediate solutions to the most critical parenting problems divorce brings, including: ·When to tell your children about the divorce and what to say ·How to create a loving, secure home if your child doesn't live with you full time ·What to do if your child is angry or sad ·How to manage the legal system, including information on family law and issues of custody ·How to deal with a difficult ex This is an invaluable resource that offers parents quick access to the information you most need at a time when you need it most.

Smile! It's not just the end of your marriage, it's the beginning of your second chance! Missy Benson has a two and a half carat diamond engagement ring with color grade H, VS2 clarity and a value of $36,000. It's absolutely gorgeous, practically flawless, and let's be honest, really big! But what the successful Chicago realtor doesn't have anymore is a husband. After 12 years of marriage, her husband, Paul, a handsome, wealthy attorney has devastated her by breaking up their marriage for Priscilla Sommerfeld, a young, personal trainer, who according to Missy's sassy assistant, J.J., looks more like a Las Vegas stripper than a fitness expert. Not sure what to do with her ring, and with no financial issues to worry about, Missy decides to put it up for sale on Craigslist. The price: 99 cents! The catch: She gets to pick the buyer. In essence, she's looking for the perfect guy, but not for herself. Her hope is to regain faith that good men do exist, and that marriages can last forever. Now referring to herself as "the divorced girl," Missy interviews dozens of young men who are vying for the huge ring. It's a contest that includes outrageous characters, hilarious and sentimental stories, and two finalists, both of whom Missy adores and who she must choose between. Then there's Parker Missoni, the sexiest contestant by far, who drives her crazy with his brutal honesty, and at the same time stops her heart with his deep brown eyes. Divorced Girl Smiling is the story of a woman's journey to do whatever it takes to heal herself from divorce. It's about acceptance, reflection, taking accountability for mistakes, and appreciating all of life's wonderful gifts. In other words, if you have the guts to put the past behind, admit your mistakes, embrace your future, and give love another chance, you will surely be a divorced girl smiling.

What if your child's "life-after-divorce" could be better than you've hoped for? As the post-divorce dust settles, your child's chances of leading a healthy, successful life are directly linked to how you and your former spouse relate. So instead of listening to statistics, read this book to discover real world co-parenting strategies from author, counselor, and co-parent Tammy Daughtry. Discover how you can make positive co-parenting work for you and your child by: Understanding how today's actions will affect your child in five, ten, and twenty years Teaming with your child's co-parent to develop strategies in the best interest of your children Helping your child feel at ease in both homes Increasing your child's self-esteem while minimizing anxiety Integrating stepparents into your co-parenting team Co-parenting isn't easy. But with these strategies for success, you'll be prepared to create an enjoyable childhood and a healthy upbringing that will impact your child for a lifetime. Take heart--the future can be better and brighter than you've dared to hope.