Confessions Of A Band Geek Mom

Stand-up comic and writer/filmmaker Stacy Dymalski learned about parenting the hard way; she became one. After 36 years of childless living spoiled her into believing happy hour was just a normal part of one's daily commute, she moved to Utah (to ski everyday, of course) and within a year got pregnant. (Isn't that what happens to any woman who moves to Utah?) Before she knew it she had two young sons and suddenly sleep won out over midnight comedy shows. Juicy Juice replaced Gray Goose vodka (although they are good mixed). Prada bags gave way to diaper bags. Showers couldn't last longer than a "Bob the Builder" video. Vacations took a back seat to music lessons, and band instruments littered the house like empty beer bottles in a college dorm. And for the first 10 years of her sons' lives she felt compelled to clean up her language (sort of). In between carpools and doing crazy stuff like lobbying for sex education in schools (so our kids don't grow up thinking the missionary position involves a bicycle and a doorbell) Stacy has documented her parenting journey in this delightful collection of laugh-out-loud stories that her children are sure to contest once they're old enough to understand the art of irony and exaggeration.

The new "Infused" edition of the New York Times best seller! This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child… and in-laws.

Just when you thought suburbia was a great place to raise your kids, along comes this surprisingly candid account of life in a neighborhood not unlike your own. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this humorous look at life in the suburbs as seen through the eyes of a stay-at-home dad. True Confessions of a Real Mr. Mom is a funny, heart-warming and honest account of one man's journey through family life and the wisdom he has gained. You'll love this delightful and often touching autobiographical tale of marriage, raising children, and coping with the trials and tribulations associated with being everyone's favorite confidant.

In this fresh and relatable, "laugh-out-loud" novel, thirteen year old Kylie Wattson exposes herself as a klutzy, nerdy, awkward teenage girl with stories to tell and lessons to learn. Through a series of quirky retellings, Kylie relates her goal of making nerdy an accessory, learning--in the end--that we're all a little nerdy, and that's okay. With witty intelligence, Kylie shares what she's learned about self-worth, acceptance, and individuality.

From the author of Models Don’t Eat Chocolate Cookies comes a middle grade novel hailed by Linda Urban as “A perfect blend of laugh out loud funny and real-world heart.” Elsie Wyatt wants to be an orchestra superstar, like her dad and grandfather. The first step? Get into a super-selective summer music camp. In order to qualify, Elsie must “expand her musical horizons” by joining her high school’s marching band. Not only does this mean wearing a plumed hat and polyester pants, but it also means she can’t play her own instrument, can’t sit down, and can’t seem to say the right thing to anyone…let alone Jake, the cute trumpet player she meets on the first day. Plus, everything she does seems to cause a disaster. Surviving marching band is going to be way harder than Elsie thought. For fans of funny, realistic, every-girl novels like Wendy Mass’s 13 Gifts and Lisa Greenwald’s My Life in Pink & Green. “It has humor, heart, and a touch of romance that will provide ample fodder for booktalks.”—School Library Journal “Marching-band kids everywhere will enjoy this believable celebration of a life-changing, musical rite of passage.”—Kirkus

After another night of girls, music and booze, seventeen-year-old pop star Darius Zaire falls out of bed and lands on the cruddy floor of his old bedroom. No mansion, no luxury cars, no platinum records. Now he's just ordinary Darren Zegers. Some kind of nightmare has erased everything that happened to change Darren the dweeb into Darius the multimillionaire. Now Darius has to face an ordinary day in the twelfth grade, suffering through remedial English and wondering what happened to the last three years, let alone all his fans and money. He desperately wants to return to his old life, but he is starting to worry that maybe this is reality, and it was his other life that was the dream.

"The Memoir Midwife" teaches you the nine specific steps needed to self-publish your book. Think of this as the self-publishing version of "What to Expect When You're Expecting." It's meant to let you know what you're in for and provide you with the confidence you need to push forward with your self-publishing goals.

A Kirkus Best YA Book of 2020 About Finding Inner Strength Wisconsin Library Association Outstanding Children's Book By a Wisconsin Author for 2021 Seventeen-year-old Rose Hemmersbach aspires to break out of small town Sparta, Wisconsin and achieve her artistic dreams, just like her aunt Colleen. Rose’s love of Frida Kahlo fuels her paint brush and her dreams to attend a prestigious art school. Painting is Rose’s escape from her annoying younger siblings and her family’s one rule: ignore the elephant in the room, because talking about it makes it real. That is, until the day Rose finds her mother dying on the kitchen floor of a heroin overdose. Kneeling beside her, Rose pleads with the universe to find a heartbeat. She does – but when her mother is taken to hospital, the troubles are just beginning. Rose and her dad are left to pick up the pieces: traumatized siblings, a Child Protective Services investigation, eviction. As Rose fights to hold everything together, and her dreams of the future start to slip from her grasp, she must face the question of what happens when – if – her mom comes home again. And if, deep down, Rose even wants her to.