Conquering Shame And Codependency

A nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships. Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships—where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another—often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be. In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.

Codependency is much more widespread than originally thought. You don’t even have to be in a relationship. Codependents have trouble accepting themselves, so they hide who they are to be accepted by someone else. Codependency for Dummies is the most comprehensive book on the topic to date. It describes the history, symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics of codependency and provides self-assessment questionnaires. The majority of the book is devoted to healing and lays out a clear plan for recovery with exercises, practical advice, and helpful daily reminders to help you know, honor, protect, and express yourself. It clarifies deep psychological dynamics that underlie codependency, yet is written in a conversational style that’s easily understandable by everyone. You will learn: How to raise your self-esteem The difference between care-giving and codependent care-taking The difference between healthy and dysfunctional families How to set boundaries How to separate responsibility for yourself and for others How to overcome guilt and resentment

Break away and recover from patterns of codependency It could start as lending an occasional hand, but over time, escalates into putting someone else above everything else—even our own well-being. Balance is needed for healthy relationships with others and ourselves. The Codependency Recovery Plan presents an enlightening look at codependency, where it comes from, and a detailed pathway out. The Codependency Recovery Plan fully explains codependency, its symptoms, and the factors that contribute to its development. It offers guidance on ways to recognize codependent behavior, become a better communicator, set boundaries, mend romantic relationships, and raise your self-esteem. Chapter exercises provide a workspace for self-reflection so that you can see your situation with fresh eyes, and gain a new perspective on your own life. Independence starts with a step-by-step plan: Step 1: Get in Touch with Your “Self”—Learn to look inward and become self-reliant. Step 2: Prioritize Self-Care—Honor and value your own self-worth and be kind to yourself. Step 3: Build Boundaries—Set limits for giving your life and love to others. Step 4: Maintain Open Communication—Speak comfortably and confidently with your support network. Step 5: Nurture Intimacy—Create healthy and constructive connections. Start building a better relationship with yourself and the people around you using The Codependency Recovery Plan.

Free yourself from codependency with evidence-based tools and exercises Reclaim your sense of self--reclaim your life. From the same author as The Codependency Recovery Plan, The Codependency Workbook is a comprehensive resource filled with research-based strategies and activities for people seeking to break out of their codependent patterns. Learn how to address mood disorders, like depression and anxiety, that often appear within codependent relationships. With this workbook, the path to recovery is clear. Discover practical exercises based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) designed to help you set goals, challenge and replace negative thoughts, identify your triggers, manage conflicts and emotions, and reduce stress. Moments of reflection at the end of each chapter provide helpful summaries and motivation to move forward in your recovery. The Codependency Workbook includes: Codependency explained--You'll get a better understanding of this condition, including a broad look at addiction and the benefits of using CBT to address these issues. Modular exercises--Triage the concerns you wish to prioritize first with exercises you can complete in any order. Inclusive approach--Secular, therapeutic activities include open discussions about all addictions (not just alcoholism). Break down the barriers to codependency recovery with realistic exercises and evidence-based tools so you can live authentically and independently. Your journey starts here.

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 Shame is the feeling of being a bad or unworthy person. It underlies all addictions. #2 People often judge us when they’re not, and we judge ourselves when they are. #3 Shame is the feeling of being a bad or unworthy person. It underlies all addictions. It is inevitable, and it is part of our human condition. #4 Shame is the feeling of being a bad or unworthy person. It underlies all addictions. It is inevitable, and it is part of our human condition.

Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault. In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences. Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination. This book is based on the author’s powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You’ll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you’ll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion—pride.

"Extremely informative and comprehensive." —Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? The world-renowned therapist and author of the groundbreaking self-help classic, The Emotionally Abused Woman, delves into one of the most destructive and powerful weapons of the abuser: shame. And reveals its most powerful antidote . . . Does your partner humiliate you, especially in front of others? Is your partner impossible to please? Are you convinced something is wrong with you? Are you too ashamed to admit you are being abused? In The Emotionally Abused Woman, therapistBeverly Engel introduced the concept of emotional abuse, one of the most subtle, yet devastating forms of abuse within a relationship. Now Engel exposes the techniques the abuser uses to break your spirit and gain control—and guides you in how to free yourself from the shame that can keep you from the life, and the love, that you deserve. By using your deepest fears against you, the abuser strips you of self-esteem, dignity, and humanity—making you feel unworthy and utterly powerless to escape. But you possess a potent tool with which to combat shame: self-compassion. In these pages, Engel shows you how to access it. Using her highly effective Shame Reduction Program, she helps you jumpstart the process of recovery by offering specific steps to help you heal and regain self-confidence. An invaluable resource for both men and women who suffer from emotional abuse, as well as therapists and advocates, Escaping Emotional Abuse is a supportive, nurturing guide for anyone seeking to break the chains of shame, and gain the emotional freedom to create healthier, lasting relationships. "A warm, compassionate, and incredibly insightful guide through the recovery journey." —Jackson MacKenzie, author of Psychopath Free “I highly recommend this book for anyone—female or male—who suspects they are being emotionally abused.” —Randi Kreger, co-author of Stop Walking on Eggshells and author of The Essential Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder “A roadmap to healing from the entanglement of shame and abuse.” —Darlene Lancer, LMFT, author of Conquering Shame and Codependency

"Prodependence," a new psychological term created by Robert Weiss to describe healthy interdependence in the modern world, turns this around. Rather that preaching detachment and distance over continued bonding and assistance, as so many therapists, self-help books, and 12-step groups currently do, prodependence celebrates the human need for and pursuit of intimate connection, viewing this as a positive force for change. Simply stated, prodependence occurs when attachment relationships are mutually beneficial--with one person's strengths filling in the weak points of the other, and vice versa. And this can occur even when an addiction is present