Farting Better When Your Ass Is Used To Farting You Can T Keep It Quiet The Best Guide On How To Fart Perfectly Farting Like No On

Would you like to learn how to best harness your farts for a genuinely explosive effect? Or maybe you'd like to understand the art of hiding them to avoid embarrassing situations? Then this guide is for you... The latest sensational effort from master Mao Tze Tze, the book you've been waiting for has finally been published: a breath of fresh air in the world of aerophagic literature. Have you ever considered that you could harness your flatulence for the benefit of a cleaner world? Farting is indeed a talent that is sometimes misunderstood. It has always been a subject of interest in science with the latest research even revealing that farts are a real renewable energy source. So, 'learn the art and put it aside'! In 'Farting Better', you'll discover all the facts behind perfect farting - allow yourself to be guided by Mao Tze Tze's seal of approval and you'll learn how to fart properly. Have a look at what you'll find inside... - The story of the world's most famous fartist - The Chemistry of Farts - How to stop farting too much - The art of hiding farts from your partner - Types and interesting facts about farting - Perfecting farting and channelling it to your liking - Jokes to make farting more natural for you. ... and much more! ★This book is also useful as a gift for your girlfriend, mother-in-law or friend.★ Add this book to your cart and get ready to be carried away!

"Don't mistake silent farts for weakness. Smart people don't fart out loud." "Good things come to people who wait, but better things come to those who fart." Don't buy this book! This is one of the sillliest and most immature books ever published. It's a complete waste of money. You'll probably hate yourself if you spend money on this ridiculous book, filled with fabricated inspirational quotes that no one ever said. Puerile fart jokes and absolutely nothing else. However ... If you're an immature and puerile person who thinks farts are funny, there's a chance you'll laugh your ass off reading this flatulent book.

This is the only book on the subject of farting you will ever need - or probably want. Farts are a fascinating phenomenon on many levels. A fart can be funny, repulsive, embarrassing, rude, or even dastardly (in the case of a silent one). Farts can also provoke a variety of reactions. Some will laugh, some will be indignant, and other people will simply stop coming around. But the undeniable truth about farting is that everybody does it. Yes, even women.

For those who delight in the rude, who have fun with the foul, nothing could be more entertaining than this unique look at the world’s most embarrassing sound and aroma. Illustrated with hilariously subtitled images from silent and other movies, it offers pure, unadulterated amusement. Peruse the 2,000-word glossary of various “farts” and “farters.” Find out about Farts in History, and how they changed the world. “The Way of the Third Eye” provides a religious and martial arts guide to farting prowess. To fart or not to fart: that is the question, and a “social directory” answers it. Top Twenty lists present the best fart-related films, books, and songs. Interspersed throughout are boxes featuring facts, quotes, and real-life farters such as Mr. Methane.

If you thought there was only one type of fart, get ready to be blown away! Like a beautiful snowflake, every fart is unique. From the ever-so-dainty Pipsqueak to the mighty window-frame-rattling Thunderclap, there's a whole world of bottom-burps to savor in this informative and revealing dictionary, along with a plethora of butt-trumpet facts. Ranging from how to fart and get away with it to the worst places to fart, you'll realize you didn't know the first thing about flatulence!

Joke book about farts, offering information on just what a fart is and how to perform certain humorous moves in association with one's farts.

Discover the funniest, most hilarious things to say to cut through the embarrassment of cutting the cheese with this guide to the perfect remarks to say after you fart. Everybody farts! But nobody knows what to say when it happens...until now! It’s inevitable. There will come a time when you just can’t hold it in any longer. And then, a fart. You’ve been there before and you will be there again. But what can you do in that situation? How can you break the awkward silence and move on with life? Cover it up? Look for someone to blame? Take responsibility for it and face the music? This cute and funny gift book explores over 100 potential fart remarks that are sure to bring the right amount of humor to a variety of fart-filled circumstances. Never again will you be frozen in place and silent with embarrassment, or loudly and unjustly accusing your neighbor of being the one who “dealt it.” Whether you’re sitting in the bathroom stall, driving in the car, or working in the office, this book provides a colossal collection of clever comments that are sure to clear the air.

You're on a date, sitting in math class, or just in a room full of people in a really quiet place and you feel the urge to pass gas. In an ideal world, you would be able to just run off and let the fart out of your system, but you may not always have the option. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is to hold in your fart to avoid embarrassment. So how do you do it?Have you ever suffered from gas during class or school? Remember that farting is not a sign of unhealthiness. It happens to everyone. Still, it's embarrassing. Follow these simple steps to try to cover up your fart. This book will answer your questions and show you the methods: How a fart works How to hold your fart for long periods of time How to stop your gut from making a whale sound from holding in a fart How to manage to fart when you start living together as a couple How to stop farting during sex ...and many more!