Grave Danger Confessions Of A Dork Lord Book 2

This hilarious, illustrated middle-grade sequel, combining the humor of Diary of a Wimpy Kid with the action of The Last Kids on Earth, follows a hapless warlock-in-training as he struggles to live up to his great and terrible destiny. Remember Wick? Son of the Dark Lord, heir to the throne of black and broken glass, and next in line to be the leader of the Grim World? Well, after a major spell gone wrong, he finds himself kicked out of his own castle and shipped off as an exchange student. As if Middle Ages School wasn't hard enough already! Follow Wick through the pages of his journal as he comes up with a genius plan to defeat his foes, achieve greatness . . . and maybe even make a new friend in the process.

Despicable Me meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid in this hilarious illustrated middle grade adventure that follows a hapless warlock-in-training as he struggles to live up to his great and terrible destiny. Meet Wick. He's the son of the Dark Lord, heir to the throne of black and broken glass, and next in line to be the leader of the Grim World. Too bad he's stuck in Remedial Spell Casting (he can barely even cast the fart-revealer spell), he's allergic to fire and brimstone, and the bullies at school insist on calling him Dork Lord. Full of humor, hijinks, and lively illustrations, Confessions of a Dork Lord follows Wick through the pages of his journal as he comes up with a genius plan to defeat his foes, achieve greatness . . . and survive Middle Ages School. "I loved every page, and your kid will too!" --Melissa de la Cruz, bestselling author of the Descendants series "It's not easy being bad. But this book will give you a head start." --Pseudonymous Bosch, bestselling author of the Secret series "Hilarious! Not to be missed!" --Eoin Colfer, bestselling author of the Artemis Fowl series

Hilarious, non-stop adventure, a mysterious jewel heist, and a detective team like no other make this a must-have middle grade series starter. Perfect for fans of A Series of Unfortunate Events and Enola Holmes. After twelve-year-old John Boarhog’s mom dies, the last thing he wants is to be schlepped off to the Jersey Home for Boys, where kids are forced to make skinny jeans for hipsters and are fed nothing but kale. Instead, he makes himself a snug home in the ceiling of the New York Museum of Natural History, where he reads anything he get his hands on and explores the artifacts afterhours. But when a rare Egyptian ruby—the highlight of the museum’s new exhibit—goes missing, John is accused of the crime. That is until the unpredictable Inspector Toadius McGee sweeps in to wrestle control of the case, certain that the true culprit is a notorious criminal he’s been tracking for years. John quickly becomes the Watson to Toadius’s Holmes as they race from Broadway to back alleys to a speak-easy that only serves root beer. And along the way, John uncovers secrets about his own past, including that he’s a lot more involved in this web of endearing ne'er-do-wells than he ever could have imagined. A love letter to classic middle grade, Egypt's Fire introduces a remarkable new duo that will steal your heart as surely as it leaves you begging for their next grand adventure. A Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The thrilling sequel to the beloved worldwide bestseller Ready Player One, the near-future adventure that inspired the blockbuster Steven Spielberg film. NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY THE WASHINGTON POST • “The game is on again. . . . A great mix of exciting fantasy and threatening fact.”—The Wall Street Journal AN UNEXPECTED QUEST. TWO WORLDS AT STAKE. ARE YOU READY? Days after winning OASIS founder James Halliday’s contest, Wade Watts makes a discovery that changes everything. Hidden within Halliday’s vaults, waiting for his heir to find, lies a technological advancement that will once again change the world and make the OASIS a thousand times more wondrous—and addictive—than even Wade dreamed possible. With it comes a new riddle, and a new quest—a last Easter egg from Halliday, hinting at a mysterious prize. And an unexpected, impossibly powerful, and dangerous new rival awaits, one who’ll kill millions to get what he wants. Wade’s life and the future of the OASIS are again at stake, but this time the fate of humanity also hangs in the balance. Lovingly nostalgic and wildly original as only Ernest Cline could conceive it, Ready Player Two takes us on another imaginative, fun, action-packed adventure through his beloved virtual universe, and jolts us thrillingly into the future once again.

Acclaimed New York Times selected "best book of the year," The Indian in the Cupboard, joins The Return of the Indian, and The Secret of the Indian for this eomni special. With magical and fantastical elements, these three extraordinary novels have withstood the test of time to become beloved classics. Young readers are drawn to the endearing characters, the fast-paced and convincingly portrayed action, and themes of friendship, responsibility, and burgeoning independence. This eomni edition will surely take a prominent place on everyone's virtual bookshelves!

The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

Avi charts the turning points in seven young lives in this extraordinary collection of short stories. In the overlapping years when childhood and adolescence blend and shift like waves and sand, nothing is certain and everything is changing. Now award-winning author Avi creates seven astonishing portraits of life in the middle-school years. In these stories you will meet, among others, William, of "What Do Fish Have to Do with Anything?" who wonders why he shouldn't ask questions that have no answers. Is it because he might discover the truth? A minister's son, the baddest of the bad, is dared to be good in "The Goodness of Matt Kaizer." And in the chilling tale, "Pets," Eve is haunted by the ghosts of her cats. Always with a surprise built in, an angle unseen, these are stories that step just beyond the edge of the everyday.

Michael Johnston brings you the first in a new epic fantasy series inspired by ancient Egyptian history and King Lear. The ruling family of the Soleri Empire has been in power longer than even the calendars that stretch back 2,826 years. Those records tell a history of conquest and domination by a people descended from gods, older than anything in the known world. No living person has seen them for centuries, yet their grip on their four subjugate kingdoms remains tighter than ever. On the day of the annual eclipse, the Harkan king, Arko-Hark Wadi, sets off on a hunt and shirks his duty rather than bow to the emperor. Ren, his son and heir, is a prisoner in the capital, while his daughters struggle against their own chains. Merit, the eldest, has found a way to stand against imperial law and marry the man she desires, but needs her sister’s help, and Kepi has her own ideas. Meanwhile, Sarra Amunet, Mother Priestess of the sun god’s cult, holds the keys to the end of an empire and a past betrayal that could shatter her family. Detailed and historical, vast in scope and intricate in conception, Soleri bristles with primal magic and unexpected violence. It is a world of ancient and elaborate rites, of unseen power and kingdoms ravaged by war, where victory comes with a price, and every truth conceals a deeper secret. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.