Growing Yourself Back Up

Someone pushes your buttons. You feel rage, fear, sweaty palms, unbidden tears—you feel like a kid. We've all experienced moments when we lose control of a situation and ourselves. Now, in Growing Yourself Back Up, the first book to explain the idea of emotional regression to the general reader, bestselling author John Lee identifies the circumstances that cause these seemingly uncontrollable feelings and shows how they are directly tied to our experience as children. No adult, explains Lee, need ever experience the helpless feelings of childhood again. Here are his proven methods and visualization exercises, developed in his popular workshops, for recognizing, preventing, and diffusing regression in ourselves and others. He teaches, for example, that adults cannot be abandoned, they can only be left; if we're feeling abandoned we're regressing. He also reminds us that no matter how overwhelmed we are, adults always have options; if we believe we don't, we're in a regression. Growing Yourself Back Up will show you how to: * develop strong emotional boundaries and convey them to others * learn the Detour Method that reverses regression * confront without regressing * communicate with the authority figures who push your buttons * minimize regression at family functions Lee offers hope—as well as practical strategies that work—for conquering those childlike feelings of powerlessness that are almost always rooted in regression.

To be human is to be in relationships. We can’t survive without them but it’s in relationships that we can so easily get unravelled. Some relationships just seem to do us in. Either we feel like we lose ourselves or feel burnt out from futile efforts to make things right for another. In our relationships we can experience the very best of ourselves and the very worst. The message of Growing Yourself Up is that you can’t separate understanding the individual from understanding relationships. All of life’s relationships are integral to increasing self-awareness and maturity. And it’s not necessarily the comfortable relationships that promote personal growth. In this 2nd edition of the bestselling book, Jenny examines how to help others without fostering dependency, and how to determine what kind of help you or others want from therapists. This is in response to the many lay and professional people who have found this book valuable personally and want to know how to help others grow. Drawing from Bowen family systems theory, the book takes you on a journey through each stage of life to see predictable patterns of relationships and to show how to use this knowledge to make purposeful adjustments in yourself; as well as lending a mature helping hand to others. The result is a sturdier self, sturdier relationships and a refreshing new way to view life’s challenges and opportunities.

Growing Up Again offers guidance on providing children with the structure and nurturing that are so critical to their healthy development -- and to our own. As time-tested as it is timely, the expert advice in Growing Up Again Second Edition has helped thousands of readers improve on their parenting practices. Now, substantially revised and expanded, Growing Up Again offers further guidance on providing children with the structure and nurturing that are so critical to their healthy development -- and to our own. Jean Illsley Clarke and Connie Dawson provide the information every adult caring for children should know -- about ages and stages of development, ways to nurture our children and ourselves, and tools for personal and family growth. This new edition also addresses the special demands of parenting adopted children and the problem of overindulgence; a recognition and exploration of prenatal life and our final days as unique life stages; new examples of nurturing, structuring, and discounting, as well as concise ways to identify them; help for handling parenting conflicts in blended families, and guidelines on supporting children's spiritual growth.About the Authors:Jean Illsley Clarke is a parent educator, teacher trainer, the author of Self-Esteem: A Family Affair, and co-author of the Help! for Parents series. She is a popular international lecturer and workshop presenter on the topics of self-esteem, parenting, family dynamics, and adult children of alcoholics. Clarke resides in Plymouth, Minnesota.Connie Dawson is a consultant and lecturer who works with adults who work with kids. A former teacher, she trains youth workers to identify and help young people who are at risk. Dawson lives in Evergreen, Colorado.

The author of The Flying Boy describes how repressing anger can have profound effects on personal health and guides readers step by step through the process of getting past their fears. “Facing the Fire is the best book on anger I have read; it is responsible, honest, practical, and a good read. I know the techniques Lee describes work, and the exercises alone make it a valuable book. I will use Facing the Fire personally and professionally.”—Dr. Patricia Love, author of The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life Do you believe: Anger is a “negative” emotion? “Nice” or “emotionally sophisticated” people don't get angry? Anger will disappear when you have understood intellectually what causes it? You won’t be angry if you just learn to forgive? If so, you are not alone. Anger is the most misunderstood and, consequently, painful of all our emotions. But denying, suppressing, and avoiding our own and others’ anger can have unfortunate results: weakened immune systems, numbing addictions, stormy relationships, lowered self-esteem. Now, John Lee, the nationally renowned speaker, teacher, and author, shows you a better way of dealing with anger. Based on his work with clients and his own experiences with anger, he: • Uses real-life scenarios to help you understand what anger is, what causes it, and why it cannot and should not be avoided • Carefully guides you through a process of confronting and getting past the fears—of losing control, of alienating people, of hurting yourself or someone you love—that keep you from honestly experiencing and accepting your anger • Gently demonstrates ways in which you can express anger constructively—from talking it out to pounding your pillow • Demonstrates why another person’s anger, if it is expressed appropriately, need not be threatening or harmful to you—but in fact can help you “Anger is our most misunderstood emotion. It is a fire that will either consume or purify. In this book, through effective and practical exercises, John Lee carefully guides the reader into a healthy relationship with this powerful emotion.”—Wayne Kritsberg, author of The Invisible Wound

A record of one man's journey to find his "true masculinity" and his way out of co-dependent and addictive relationships. It's a book for all men and women who grew up in dysfunctional families and are now ready for some fresh insights into their past and their pain. It's a story about feelings - losing them, finding them and finally expressing them. Here you will find people you know; will discover a way out of the pain and see that it really is OK to express yourself without fear. The book is about grieving, a very misunderstood process often confused with self-pity. Open the doors to understanding - men will understand themselves and each other, and women will more deeply understand men, learn how to be with wounded men and still take care of themselves.

A large segment of the population struggles with feelings of being detached from themselves and their loved ones. They feel flawed, and blame themselves. Running on Empty will help them realize that they're suffering not because of something that happened to them in childhood, but because of something that didn't happen. It's the white space in their family picture, the background rather than the foreground. This will be the first self-help book to bring this invisible force to light, educate people about it, and teach them how to overcome it.

One of the start-up world’s most in-demand executive coaches—hailed as the “CEO Whisperer” (Gimlet Media)—reveals why radical self-inquiry is critical to professional success and healthy relationships in all realms of life. Jerry Colonna helps start-up CEOs make peace with their demons, the psychological habits and behavioral patterns that have helped them to succeed—molding them into highly accomplished individuals—yet have been detrimental to their relationships and ultimate well-being. Now, this venture capitalist turned executive coach shares his unusual yet highly effective blend of Buddhism, Jungian therapy, and entrepreneurial straight talk to help leaders overcome their own psychological traumas. Reboot is a journey of radical self-inquiry, helping you to reset your life by sorting through the emotional baggage that is holding you back professionally, and even more important, in your relationships. Jerry has taught CEOs and their top teams to realize their potential by using the raw material of their lives to find meaning, to build healthy interpersonal bonds, and to become more compassionate and bold leaders. In Reboot, he inspires everyone to hold themselves responsible for their choices and for the possibility of truly achieving their dreams. Work does not have to destroy us. Work can be the way in which we achieve our fullest self, Jerry firmly believes. What we need, sometimes, is a chance to reset our goals and to reconnect with our deepest selves and with each other. Reboot moves and empowers us to begin this journey.

If he had been with me everything would have been different... I wasn't with Finn on that August night. But I should've been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it's not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the facts. What they do not know—the cause of the argument—is crucial. So let me tell you...