Medium Sized Book Of Humour

Thoughts I've been carrying around for 45 years have finally come out in a constructive fashion.

Focuses on why we laugh, what we laugh at, and who we laugh at.

My name is Tim Clark, and I'm 46 years old. By today's standard, middle aged I suppose, and being in the middle is something I've grown very used to over all of my years. I was the middle kid in my family, medium-sized, and of average intelligence. By all accounts, by any standard one could measure by, I'm the personification of the average Joe. The short stories in this book are all true and told to the best of my recollection. One hundred percent of the characters were created by God himself and presented here for your enjoyment. My hope is that you enjoy reading them but not because of the things that have happened to me, but that they may help you recall the stories of your own life and that you'll come to the same conclusion that I have. If your looking for something truly extraordinary in your life, keep in mind that the bathroom mirror is only a few steps away and keep in mind also that you'd look silly with a shaved head and a tattoo. Give this book a read and have a few laughs at my expense. I promise I won't get mad.

A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

“With this charming, sardonic debut, stand up comedian and actor Todd Barry makes readers laugh as hard as the audiences at his shows” (Publishers Weekly) in this hilarious book of travel essays from his time on tour in the US, Canada, and Israel. Hello. It’s Todd Barry. Yes, the massively famous comedian. I have billions of fans all over the world, so I do my fair share of touring. While I love doing shows in the big cities (New York, Philadelphia), I also enjoy a good secondary market (Ithaca, Bethlehem). Performing in these smaller places can be great because not all entertainers stop there on tour; they don’t expect to see you. They’re appreciative. They say things like “Thank you for coming to Hattiesburg” as much as they say “Nice show.” And almost every town has their version of a hipster coffee shop, so I can get in my comfort zone. My original plan was to book one secondary market show in all fifty states, in about a year, but that idea was funnier than anything in my act. So, instead of all fifty states in a year, my agent booked multiple shows in a lot of states, plus Israel and Canada. Thank You for Coming to Hattiesburg is part tour diary, part travel guide, and part memoir (Yes, memoir. Just like the thing presidents and former child stars get to write). Follow me on my journey of small clubs, and the occasional big amphitheater. Watch me make a promoter clean the dressing room toilet in Connecticut, see me stare at beached turtles in Maui, and see how I react when Lars from Metallica shows up to see me at a rec center in Northern California. I’d love to tell you more, but I need to go book a flight to Evansville, Indiana.

This comprehensive joke writing masterclass has been devised for beginners and experienced joke writers alike. The techniques you will learn can be used again and again to write funny and original material. You hold in your hands the key to unlocking your inner comedy genius.

Only in Ireland – the funniest, wildest and most absurd stories from Ireland's local newspapers For anyone with a sense of humour and a taste for the absurd, here are the best of the unique, hilarious stories from towns and villages the length and breadth of the country that make the headlines in the local newspaper ... and nowhere else. Read all about the dogs in Mountmellick forced to wear nappies, the Kerry boat builder who travelled 23 minutes back in time, the pub thieves who escaped through Limerick prison, the Corkman whose most treasured possession is his bucket from the Pope's 1979 visit and many, many more. Medium-Sized Town, Fairly Big Story showcases the best of Ireland's distinctive humour, personality and wit. This book is a window on the real soul of Ireland, a snapshot of the way we were, the way we are and, hopefully, the way we'll always be. 'Open this book on any page and you'll smile. This book will sit proudly in my toilet for many years to come.' Hector Ó hEochagáin 'Ireland's famous wit and charm is often most evident in our local papers and Ronan has unearthed the best of it for this great book.' Bressie 'I was laughing just reading some of the headlines!' Gerry Duffy, bestselling author of Who Dares, Runs and Tick Tock Ten 'This is a rale good book. A week never passes that I don't buy a few local papers and Ronan has done a savage job bringing some of the best stories from them together here.' Mick Foster, one half of Foster & Allen 'This book is a great validation of the importance of local newspapers.' Tony Allen, the other half ... 'It really is the perfect gift for a loved one living abroad or anyone at home who loves reading about what makes Ireland tick!' Ireland's Eye

An amazing collection of thousands of jokes - great for any occasions or just to get a great belly-laugh.