Responding To Abuse In Christian Homes

Domestic abuse is a horror. It lurks beneath the surface of our collective existence, sometimes raising its ugly head where least expected-in the church or within families of faith. Are we-individually or collectively-ready to respond? What can, or should, congregations and their pastoral leaders do? And, as we survey the Christian landscape across the United States and Canada, are we as the community of faith stepping up to the challenge presented by violence in the family? There is no easy answer to the problems that surface when abuse impacts the Christian family. But each of the authors contributing to this volume believes fervently that it is imperative that followers of Jesus and their spiritual shepherds respond to the cries for help. To respond well necessitates both knowledge and a willingness to act. This book is here to help. It represents a collective effort to bring all of us a step farther in our journey of walking with Christ over a sea of troubled waters. None of us know as much as we should, but all of us can learn from one another. Throughout the collection we provide an opportunity to examine a diversity of perspectives, with the hope that each will in some way advance our understanding of the complexity of domestic violence issues in our midst-within our churches and the communities where our churches minister.

ÐAs my father abused me he quoted Bible verses to show how bad I was. ÐEach Sunday I'd go to church with my family and hear that God loved me and was watching over me. Then we'd go home and I'd get abused again and wonder why God didn't protect me from these people who went to church. --anonymous survivors This book by a psychotherapist specializing in sexual abuse confronts harsh realities. But Dr. Heggen also offers hope that confronting broken sexuality will bring healing--for survivors of abuse, for perpetrators, for the church.

In January 2004 a newly founded evangelical organization called PASCH was formed. The word denotes the Passover or time of new beginnings--when God kept people safe in their own homes before leading them into freedom from abuse and oppression. Yet the word PASCH also stands for Peace and Safety in the Christian Home. PASCH began as a small group of therapists, sociologists, domestic-violence experts, clergy, biblical scholars, survivors--and dedicated Christians. In essence, PASCH was born out of the cries, confusion, and frustration of the people of God. As we encountered many horrifying situations of domestic abuse in Christian homes, those of us who seek to address various aspects of the issue concluded that we needed a fellowship of concerted study, prayer, and action. It was the dream of Catherine Clark Kroeger that an edited book might emerge from the 2005 and 2006 PASCH conferences in order that the papers, presentations, and discussions might be widely available. We found that to make that happen, we needed to work together: that each of us possessed one piece of the puzzle, and that by God's grace we could collectively begin to put the pieces together. The topic of abuse is ugly, which is why so many Christians shy away from discussing it. But in this volume we have tried to present an accurate, faith-based analysis of abuse in the Christian family context. We hope that various chapters stimulate discussion--sometimes debate--and in so doing prompt pastor and people to action. We call on you the reader to consider the various ideas and perspectives offered throughout the book. Hopefully each chapter will prompt you to consider afresh how you conceptualize violence among families of faith. Like you, the reader, the contributors to our collection come from various faith traditions, work in different contexts, and see the issue in part based on their own narrative and training. Yet, despite our differences--and our ongoing debates--we are unanimous that violence has no place in the home. Every home should be a safe place; every home a shelter. When abuse occurs in families of faith, it is the responsibility of the church to offer compassion and support to victims and to call those who act abusively to accountability and justice. Our edited collection includes ∑ Dan Allender speaking from the heart about the impact of the fall on relationships between men and women; ∑ Al Miles reflecting on his pastoral experience of the difficulties and opportunities of speaking out against violence in Christian families; ∑ Bruce and Karen McAndless-Davis offering one couple's story of the long journey toward accountability and dramatic change; ∑ Julie Owens retelling her own dramatic story of abuse, the life imprisonment of her ex-partner and what she wished every pastor knew about domestic violence.

Dealing wisely with domestic abuse in the church

Domestic Violence is prominent among families in many churches. However, more times than not, when victims finally break their silence and confide in their Pastors, or someone in leadership, they are being given the advice to remain in an abusive relationship, because to divorce would not be pleasing to God. Silent Cry within the Church is geared toward violence among Christian couples, as well as, the children in the home who witness the violence. This book was written to not only shed light on Domestic Violence in Christian homes, but to show the correlation between child abuse and those who become perpetrators of Domestic Violence later in life. Contained within the pages of Silent Cry within the Church are the true testimonies of what victims of Domestic Violence have experienced in the church after bravely speaking out. In addition, Connie shares her family’s story of what happens when the victim does not speak out, and the church chooses to ignore the signs of abuse. Enclosed is also a wealth of knowledge surrounding Domestic Violence, including resources for getting help, the NC Domestic Violence Laws and a section offering words of encouragement for victims and survivors of Domestic Violence. Whether a victim, perpetrator, or child, the answer to violence within the home is the same for all—Jesus Christ. He alone is our deliverer and healer of the broken heart.

Weaves together biblical exposition and practical application to demonstrate how emotions relate to the Christian life. Emotions are a vital part of what it means to be a human being made in the image of God and redeemed in Jesus Christ. But often our emotions confuse and mislead us. So what is the proper place for emotions in a Christian's walk of faith? In Feelings and Faith Brian Borgman draws from his extensive biblical knowledge and his pastoral experience to help readers understand both divine and human emotions. After laying a biblical foundation he moves on to practical application, focusing on how Christians can put to death ungodly emotional displays and also cultivate godly emotions. This biblically informed, practical volume is helpful for pastors, counselors, and serious-minded Christians who wish to develop a full-orbed faith that encompasses their emotional life.

These national guidelines from the Church of England are designed to inform, direct and equip those working in churches at a local level about domestic abuse. They are designed for all who may be entrusted by victims, survivors or perpetrators to hear their stories and who want to offer the most appropriate care.

The very concept is at best difficult for most believers to wrap their minds around. The family designed by God, is to be a place of safety and love... not hurt and shame. Yet we are painfully aware that spousal abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect does happen in Christian homes. We, the church, need to know how to respond in care, compassion, and justice. In this small but packed book, Dr. Stan DeKoven, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and International educator presents the key principles and concerns to be addressed by professional and lay leader alike, based upon his textbook, "Family Violence: Patterns of Destruction." This book will help victims, when the paraprofessional and clergy minister with grace when violence occurs in the family. Dr. Stan DeKoven is the Founder and President of Vision International University. After many years as a successful Christian family counselor, he expanded the work of Dr. Ken Chant into a dynamic university program with colleges in over 80 nations around the world. Dr. DeKoven is the author of more than 35 books and numerous study guides in counseling, leadership and practical theology.