Summary Of Attached By Amir Levine

“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider's guide to understanding a partner's brain and promoting love and trust within a romantic relationship. Readers learn ten scientific principles they can use to avoid triggering fear and panic in their partners, manage their partners' emotional reactions when they do become upset, and recognize when the brain's threat response is hindering their ability to act in a loving way. By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a ""warring brain"" mentality and toward a more cooperative ""loving brain"" understanding of the relationship. Based in the sound science of neurobiology, attachment theory, and emotion regulation research, this book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.

Do you have trouble saying "no," or constantly sacrifice your own needs to please others? If so, this evidence-based workbook will help you set healthy boundaries in all aspects of your life—without feeling guilty or afraid. If you find yourself feeling responsible for others’ happiness, worrying about letting people down, or struggling to speak up for yourself, you probably have difficulty setting healthy boundaries. Establishing clear personal boundaries is essential to creating and nurturing mutually respectful relationships based on equality. Setting limits can also protect you from getting involved in exploitative relationships, and help you avoid toxic personalities who don’t have your best interests at heart. This evidence-based workbook will show you how to set healthy boundaries across all aspects of life—without sacrificing your kindness or compassion for others. You’ll learn to define your boundaries and discover why they’re so important for your emotional well-being. You’ll also find a wealth of tips for maintaining boundaries in a "constantly-connected" world, strategies for what to do when people get upset or threatened by your assertiveness, and ways to make sure your needs are met. If you’re tired of feeling guilty or afraid of putting your mental and physical health first, are ready to take back control of your life, and create healthy and balanced relationships, this book will show you how to step up and set limits, assert yourself confidently, and realize your full potential.

Unlock the secret to loving and lasting relationships! This book is for anyone who desires closeness, especially in the most intimate relationships: marriage, parenting, close friends, and ultimately with God. The answer to why people feel and act the way they do lies in the profound effect of a child's bonding process with his or her parents. How successfully we form and maintain relationships throughout life is related to those early issues of "attachment." Author Dr. Tim Clinton is recognized as a world leader in mental health and relationship issues—and he knows intimately what it is like to feel unloved. The child of a mentally ill mother who locked him in a closet and a father who was frequently gone, Clinton struggled with attachments for many years before discovering the secret to loving and being loved. Citing four primary bonding styles, you will learn: Why we love, feel, and act the way we do How to conquer depression, anxiety, anger, and grief How to be a sensitive, secure parent to your children How God’s love is enough to penetrate the brokenness and remove negative emotions from your life If you have come out of a painful, damaging, or traumatic past, reading this book will teach you how to experience the love and closeness you long to feel.

Lose weight. Act confident. Play hard to get. This approach to dating doesn’t lead to love, it leads to insecurity and loneliness. In Deeper Dating, psychotherapist Ken Page offers a new path to finding meaningful and lasting relationships. Learn how to attract people who love you for who you really are, become more self-assured and emotionally available, and lose your taste for relationships that diminish your self-esteem. With exercises, practical tools, and inspiring stories, Deeper Dating will guide you on a journey to find the love—and personal fulfillment—you long for.

The concluding chapter reflects on the key issues addressed, considers the deeper philosophical implications of current work in the field, and identifies pivotal directions for future investigation."--BOOK JACKET.

An entertaining and inspiring account of conquering the fear of rejection, offering a completely new perspective on how to turn a no into a yes. Jia Jiang came to the United States with the dream of being the next Bill Gates. But despite early success in the corporate world, his first attempt to pursue his entrepreneurial dream ended in rejection. Jia was crushed, and spiraled into a period of deep self doubt. But he realized that his fear of rejection was a bigger obstacle than any single rejection would ever be, and he needed to find a way to cope with being told no without letting it destroy him. Thus was born his "100 days of rejection" experiment, during which he willfully sought rejection on a daily basis--from requesting a lesson in sales from a car salesman (no) to asking a flight attendant if he could make an announcement on the loud speaker (yes) to his famous request to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the shape of Olympic rings (yes, with a viral video to prove it). Jia learned that even the most preposterous wish may be granted if you ask in the right way, and shares the secret of successful asking, how to pick targets, and how to tell when an initial no can be converted into something positive. But more important, he learned techniques for steeling himself against rejection and ways to develop his own confidence--a plan that can't be derailed by a single setback. Filled with great stories and valuable insight, Rejection Proof is a fun and thoughtful examination of how to overcome fear and dare to live more boldly.

“Sam Keen is one of the most creative, profound thinkers of our time. I personally have learned and benefited immensely from his books. He brings to the men's movement a new kind of practical wisdom that should help both men and women.”—John Bradshaw, author of Homecoming How does one become a “real man”? By joining a fraternity? Getting a letter in football? Conquering a lot of women? Making a lot of money? With traditional notions of manhood under attack, today's men (and women) are looking for a new vision of masculinity. In this groundbreaking book, Sam Keen offers an inspiring guide for men seeking new personal ideals of strength, potency, and warrior-ship in their lives. What does it really mean to be a man? Fire in the Belly answers that question by daringly confronting outdated models that impoverish, injure, and alienate men. It shows instead how men can find their own path to understanding the unique mysteries of being male and in the process rediscover a new vitality and virility that will energize every aspect of their lives. Here is a look at men at work, at play, at war, and in love, moving from brokenness to wholeness and building nurturing, satisfying relationships with one another, their mates, and their families. At no time in history have there been so many men looking for new roles, new attitudes, and new ways of being. In this powerful and empowering book, author Sam Keen retells for modern times the ancient story of the search for what it means to be a man—a man with fire in his belly and passion in his heart. “This book taught me things i didn't know, thawed out some feelings that had been frozen, and made me remember things I thought I wanted to forget. The growing men's movement has added a voice and a book that captures the problems of being male and the promises of manhood achieved. I didn't want it to end.”—John Lee, author of The Flying Boy