The Book Of Big Excuses

Need to weasel your way out of blame? Or explain some strange behaviour? This is the book for you - for every type of situation, here are excuses from the historical to the hysterical.

Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's easier with The Little Book of Big Excuses, with hundreds of excuses for things you did, things you didn't do, things you did wrong, and things you never want to hear about again. First things first: "Fake Don't Flake." In here are your excuses for being late for or not showing up to any number of places for any number of reasons--grandma's birthday party, work, home, weddings, dentists appointments. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" is where to look when you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name--again. Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. If you need to learn how to say "I'd Love to, but"--the art of articulating just why you can't do most anything you don't want to do--in any language, this is the book for you. Demonstrate your incompetence. When someone asks you to bring those complicated hors d'oeuvres, show up half an hour late with half the ingredients. Bonus section here: how to get someone else to do all the work while you still get the credit. "Delivery Subsystem Failure--Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!" Never, ever again will you want for an excuse for not writing, calling, IMing, or emailing. Fake communication breakdowns make fail-safe excuses for a myriad of don't wannas and didn't do its. "All's Fair in Love" contains excuses for not calling, not going on the second date, forgetting the birthday or anniversary of the one you love. Plus how to retreat with remorse, even from the altar steps. Hint: You could have your mother or your manager phone it in. That's what Julia Roberts did. * Hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations, plus "The Excuse Clinic: How to Make Lame Excuses Walk and Okay Excuses Sing." * Life is serious business, people, so pay attention. Let Addie help you off the hook.

Late for school? Didn't do your homework? Need a bigger allowance? Don't want to clean your room? Garfield helps children explain all this and more in the newest humor book staring America's favorite fat cat. BandW illustrations.

At the age of 24, working with his wife at a car wash, Larry Winters was struggling to get by. He decided he needed to make a change for the better, so he seized control of his life and, day by day, built his own business. Along the way, he learned many lessons about sacrifice, personal responsibility, determination and independence Live the Dream: No More Excuses, is Winters' inspiring story of his journey from a young man with no ambition to a man in control of his financial destiny. He uses examples from his own life to teach readers how to gain financial freedom for themselves. Most importantly, Winters stresses how self limitation is damaging and holds people back, keeping them from achieving the successful lives they desire. Live the Dream provides an inspirational blueprint for readers to gain financial freedom, and build their own businesses -- to give up excuses and achieve their life goals, all while staying grounded in what really matters: family, friends and faith. Larry Winters' powerful motivational style will have readers ready to seize the day and live their dreams.

This fabulously fun flipbook allows you to generate over 100 million excellent excuses for all occasions. Wacky, zany, and sometimes plain silly, this book will ensure you'll always have the right answer for anything!

Ever been caught with your trousers down (literally or metaphorically) and needed a good excuse? Look no further, A Little Book of Excuses will have excuses to cover every situation: 'I can't come in to work today because I'm stalking my ex-boss who fired me for not showing up for work.' 'I've used up all my sick days... so I'm calling in dead.' 'She meant nothing to me.... other than a night of wild passion that i will remember to the end of my days and against which i will measure all other women.'

This classic Berenstain Bears story is a perfect way to teach children about trying new things and the importance of physical fitness! Come for a visit in Bear Country with this classic First Time Book® from Stan and Jan Berenstain. Sister has hurt her ankle! The good news is that it gets her out of gym class . . . a class she hates. Once it heals, will Sister leap back in, or will she stay sitting on the sidelines.