Too Good To Leave Too Bad To Stay

There are many books that promise to help you fix a bad relationship. This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should even try—or if you need to go. Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems: • What sins are forgivable and which ones are unpardonable? • Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself? • What is your sex life really like, and how important is it? • Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable? Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.

A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of men and women caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair reaches into their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She gives readers everything they need to cut through the thickets of fear, hurt and confusion to find their ways to happier, more solid relationships with the person who's right for them. For example, Kirshenbaum identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they're in and what it means. Is it a: --"See-if" affair? --Ejector-seat affair? --Distraction affair? --Unmet-needs affair? --Panic affair? Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as: --What am I missing in my marriage? --How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange? --How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both? She leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.

A guide to restoring trust in broken relationships from a renowed couple’s therapist. Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged. In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.

Too Good to Go, Too Bad to Stay is a simple, comprehensive guide that offers a 5-step plan to help men and women heal from a toxic relationship, and know if they should stay or go. Toxic relationship behaviors are insidious in nature and slowly creep into relationships. They may start with jealous rage or controlling behavior and can include, but are not limited to unrealistic expectations, isolation, blame, hypersensitivity, dual personality, criticism, and contempt. Can a relationship like that get better? Is it bad enough that it’s time to leave? Psychotherapist and spiritual healer Joanne King offers men and women in toxic relationships simple ways to create healthy, loving relationships. Through cultivating self-awareness, gratitude, and self-compassion, readers learn to live life with purpose and intent and gain an understanding of how to determine whether to stay or go—and live their best life ever.

How do two well-meaning people who genuinely care about each other end up in a damaged, unsatisfying relationship? Every couple faces conflict. Most of the time, the root of the problem is that we’re not getting our needs met. And most of the time, we first try to remedy this with reasonable requests—or hints—and a kind tone. But when that fails, we feel disempowered, which leads to sighs, eye rolls, silences, subtle put-downs, insults, and even threats. These are power moves. And while we often use them without realizing it and without intention, the result is the same—our partner feels disempowered and will try to re-empower themselves. And so the endless, and endlessly destructive, dynamic takes hold. Relationship expert Mira Kirshenbaum, bestselling author of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, reveals a better way: a three-step method for conflict-free problem solving. By recognizing each partner’s power moves, we can instead find mutually satisfying ways to heal our hurts and meet each other’s needs. Non-judgmental, compassionate, and wise, this is an indispensable guide to help couples end the negative cycle and get back to the loving understanding that brought them together in the first place. “Mira Kirshenbaum’s words of wisdom are an inspiration to everyone who reads them.” —Deepak Chopra

A controversial look at whether a marriage can be saved—or if its “time to go.” For the millions caught in unhappy marriages, consumed by sadness, anger, and fear, the question haunts: “Should I divorce?” Now, in their insightful new book, a husband-and-wife team of marriage experts helps readers find the answer by taking them through ten steps to determine if their relationship has reached the breaking point. While Drs. Birnbach and Hyman do not advocate divorce, they point out that the most desirable situation—a happy long-term marriage—may simply not be possible in some cases. The book also discusses how the lives of people who stay in chronically unhappy marriages compare with those who split up. Filled with poignant case studies, cutting-edge research, and a 100-question self-assessment to determine if its “time to go,” this unique guide dispels the myths about divorce and enables readers to recognize if there is still hope . . . or if they (and their families) are better off apart.

On Divorce, the Break Up, and a Broken Heart Originally published in 1987, and continuously in print since then, Coming Apart has been an important resource for hundreds of thousands of readers experiencing painful breakups. Whether going through a divorce, separation, or break up, bestselling author, Daphne Rose Kingma, offers the tools and validation needed to move forward. Bad breakups and stressful situations. Love is great; a broken heart, not so much. Usually accompanied by insomnia, loss of appetite, and depression, the end of a relationship is a hard time for anyone. Getting over a break up requires grit and understanding. This breakup first aid kit helps you get through heartbreak without falling apart and with your self-esteem intact. Uncoupling and understanding. While only time can heal wounds, understanding what transpired in each of our relationships is what allows us to finally let go and move on. With a refreshing perspective on relationships, Coming Apart helps us understand that all relationships come with lessons to be learned. So, rather than obsess over your ex, explore the critical facets of relationship breakdowns: • Why we choose who we choose • What relationships are really about • The life span of love • How to get through the end • A personal workbook to process and move forward With a foreword by the author of Conscious Uncoupling, Katherine Woodward Thomas, this new edition is sure to impress fans of, How to Survive the Loss of a Love, Getting Past Your Breakup, The Breakup Bible, Uncoupling, and other divorce books for women.

We just don't know how to make each other happy any more." ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love?" We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad." Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. We just don't know how to make each other happy any more." ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love?" We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad." Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems.