Why Love Hurts And Why Self Love Is The Key

You might think, It's all very well saying 'self-love', but what does that mean, how do I actually go about doing it, and what does it have to do with my current problems? Self-love is not generic; it's as unique as your fingerprints and needs to be applied according to the battles that you're facing. This book is designed to wake you up, taking you on a journey where we break down why self-love is fundamental to your relationships and why getting 'woke' is the key that will revolutionise your love life. Discover why having 'a certain type' is a problem, how you inadvertently screw yourself over, and the unconscious processes that keep you repeating the same cycle again and again.You need this book if you:Feel baffled by your relationships and don't understand why loving someone results in so much pain.Settle for far less than you need and tolerate nonsense in the name of love.Struggle with having boundaries and feel that your partner (or ex) mistook your kindness for weakness.Always put your partner (or ex-partners) needs first and still end up feeling unwanted or unappreciated.Have started to become secretive about your love life and as a result, feel isolated and anxious.If you've answered, 'yes' to any of these, this book will provide the solace, comfort and insights that you have been looking for.Engaging, practical exercises expose the excuses that often keep you stuck, plus you will also gain invaluable insight into the process of change, how it occurs, why it's so hard and what you need to do to attain the love, that you know, at some level, you deserve. You will be guided and encouraged to see yourself as a work-in-progress so that you can choose self-compassion over self-condemnation. Light is at the end of the tunnel, and change is possible.More on the bookWhy Love Hurts is inspired by both my personal and professional experiences. Back in the late 90's I was in a 'give my all' relationship that resulted in domestic abuse. That experience changed my life exponentially and inspired my career. Today, I am a psychotherapist in private practice, and I am proud to bring my ideas and vision together in a book that comes from the heart, that breaks down why love hurts, what we can do about it, and how the change process really looks like.Bringing together years of knowledge and insights into an incredibly empowering read that has the potential to change your life, you will move beyond traditional self-help material and have an opportunity to do a deep dive into the unconscious dynamics that inform your intimate relationship patterns. This will provide you with crystal clear clarity about what steps need to be in place for you to revolutionise your life for you to experience the healthy, wholesome love that you know you deserve.

Few of us have been spared the agonies of intimate relationships. They come in many shapes: loving a man or a woman who will not commit to us, being heartbroken when we're abandoned by a lover, engaging in Sisyphean internet searches, coming back lonely from bars, parties, or blind dates, feeling bored in a relationship that is so much less than we had envisaged - these are only some of the ways in which the search for love is a difficult and often painful experience. Despite the widespread and almost collective character of these experiences, our culture insists they are the result of faulty or insufficiently mature psyches. For many, the Freudian idea that the family designs the pattern of an individual's erotic career has been the main explanation for why and how we fail to find or sustain love. Psychoanalysis and popular psychology have succeeded spectacularly in convincing us that individuals bear responsibility for the misery of their romantic and erotic lives. The purpose of this book is to change our way of thinking about what is wrong in modern relationships. The problem is not dysfunctional childhoods or insufficiently self-aware psyches, but rather the institutional forces shaping how we love. The argument of this book is that the modern romantic experience is shaped by a fundamental transformation in the ecology and architecture of romantic choice. The samples from which men and women choose a partner, the modes of evaluating prospective partners, the very importance of choice and autonomy and what people imagine to be the spectrum of their choices: all these aspects of choice have transformed the very core of the will, how we want a partner, the sense of worth bestowed by relationships, and the organization of desire. This book does to love what Marx did to commodities: it shows that it is shaped by social relations and institutions and that it circulates in a marketplace of unequal actors.

Tackling relationships, career, and family issues, John Kim, LMFT, thinks of himself as a life-styledesigner, not a therapist. His radical new approach, that he sometimes calls “self-help in a shot glass” is easy, real, and to the point. He helps people make changes to their lives so that personal growth happens organically, just by living. Let’s face it, therapy is a luxury. Few of us have the time or money to devote to going to an office every week. With anecdotes illustrating principles in action (in relatable and sometimes irreverent fashion) and stand-alone practices and exercises, Kim gives readers the tools and directions to focus on what's right with them instead of what's wrong. When John Kim was going through the end of a relationship, he began blogging as The Angry Therapist, documenting his personal journey post-divorce. Traditional therapists avoid transparency, but Kim preferred the language of "me too" as opposed to "you should." He blogged about his own shortcomings, revelations, views on relationships, and the world. He spoke a different therapeutic language —open, raw, and at times subversive — and people responded. The Angry Therapist blog, that inspired this book, has been featured in The Atlantic Monthly and on NPR.

Are you lost in your relationship? Or Are you looking for love, true love?Maybe you have settled for "good enough" because you think you can't ask for more from love? You can't seem to rekindle the passion or you've suffered from a broken heart or trauma that made you close off your heart to protect it.You might be searching for that elusive special someone but you're unsure what to do or you don't have the confidence to try? If you answered yes to any of that this book is for you.Inside relationship expert, author and coach Melody Chadamoyo shares her own love story, a story of love, passion, heartache, loss, self-discovery, and the lessons she's learned along the way.You'll discover how to apply these lessons in a step by step way and how you can apply them to not only find lasting love, true love but also in a way that enables you to love the most important person in your life - yourself.Split into 4 easy parts: In Part 1 Melody shares her story of why love is not enough to make a marriage last. After marrying the man of her dreams 2 years later she was extremely unhappy in her and seriously thinking about divorce. She blamed her husband for her unhappiness but he wouldn't or couldn't change. She decided to take responsibility for her own happiness. She joined the gym, started meeting up with friends and dancing as well as going back to reading. She discovered that she had lost herself and had no idea what to do as a wife that would not make her and her husband miserable. Her realization that men and women don't see the world the same way started her on a path to learn how to have relationships with men that make them feel more intimacy and her more valued.In Part 2 the book goes deeper into the importance of practicing self-love. You can't give what you don't have so before you expect love from others need to grow in loving yourself and then share with others. What is the self and how do you ensure you love yourself? There are examples that show you some of the actions that show you're not loving yourself and when you are. Self-love means loving even the bits about you that you don't like. Loving yourself is the step towards acceptance of yourself and others. It leads to unconditional love.Part 3 shows the difference between the traditional conditional love we have been taught and the real authentic true love. Love is what makes life worthwhile. It is also a choice. Loving consciously and accepting a person for who they are is practicing true love. You need to let go of the need to control others to allow them to be whom they are meant to be. Melody shares practical ways of how you can begin to do that. Part 4 helps you take self-love and true love and marry them to create blissful and amazing relationships. You get the tools to use to build your relationships so that they thrive and full of joy.

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A special 25th anniversary edition of the beloved book that has changed millions of lives with the story of an unforgettable friendship, the timeless wisdom of older generations, and healing lessons on loss and grief—featuring a new afterword by the author “A wonderful book, a story of the heart told by a writer with soul.”—Los Angeles Times “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher, or a colleague. Someone older, patient and wise, who understood you when you were young and searching, helped you see the world as a more profound place, gave you sound advice to help you make your way through it. For Mitch Albom, that person was his college professor Morrie Schwartz. Maybe, like Mitch, you lost track of this mentor as you made your way, and the insights faded, and the world seemed colder. Wouldn’t you like to see that person again, ask the bigger questions that still haunt you, receive wisdom for your busy life today the way you once did when you were younger? Mitch Albom had that second chance. He rediscovered Morrie in the last months of the older man’s life. Knowing he was dying, Morrie visited with Mitch in his study every Tuesday, just as they used to back in college. Their rekindled relationship turned into one final “class”: lessons in how to live. “The truth is, Mitch,” he said, “once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” Tuesdays with Morrie is a magical chronicle of their time together, through which Mitch shares Morrie’s lasting gift with the world.

A New York Times bestseller and enduring classic, All About Love is the acclaimed first volume in feminist icon bell hooks' "Love Song to the Nation" trilogy. All About Love reveals what causes a polarized society, and how to heal the divisions that cause suffering. Here is the truth about love, and inspiration to help us instill caring, compassion, and strength in our homes, schools, and workplaces. “The word ‘love’ is most often defined as a noun, yet we would all love better if we used it as a verb,” writes bell hooks as she comes out fighting and on fire in All About Love. Here, at her most provocative and intensely personal, renowned scholar, cultural critic and feminist bell hooks offers a proactive new ethic for a society bereft with lovelessness--not the lack of romance, but the lack of care, compassion, and unity. People are divided, she declares, by society’s failure to provide a model for learning to love. As bell hooks uses her incisive mind to explore the question “What is love?” her answers strike at both the mind and heart. Razing the cultural paradigm that the ideal love is infused with sex and desire, she provides a new path to love that is sacred, redemptive, and healing for individuals and for a nation. The Utne Reader declared bell hooks one of the “100 Visionaries Who Can Change Your Life.” All About Love is a powerful, timely affirmation of just how profoundly her revelations can change hearts and minds for the better.

Be the best version of you that YOU can be. How can you learn to truly love yourself? How can you transform negative emotions into positive ones? Is it possible to find lasting happiness? In this book, Instagram guru Vex King answers all of these questions and more. Vex overcame adversity to become a source of hope for thousands of young people, and now draws from his personal experience and his intuitive wisdom to inspire you to: - practise self-care, overcome toxic energy and prioritize your wellbeing - cultivate positive lifestyle habits, including mindfulness and meditation - change your beliefs to invite great opportunities into your life - manifest your goals using tried-and-tested techniques - overcome fear and flow with the Universe - find your higher purpose and become a shining light for others In this book, Vex will show you that when you change the way you think, feel, speak and act, you begin to change the world.

At the end of the last century, the idea of self-esteem became enormously influential. A staggering amount of psychological research and self-help literature was published, and before long was devoured by readers. Self-esteem initiatives permeated American schools. Self-esteem became the way of understanding ourselves, our personalities, our interactions with others. Nowadays, few people think much about the idea of self-esteem—but perhaps we should. Self-Esteem: An American History is the first historical study exploring the emotional politics of self-esteem in modern America. Written with verve and insight, Ian Miller’s expert analysis explores the critiques of self-help which accuse it of propping up conservative agendas by encouraging us to look solely inside ourselves to resolve life’s problems. At the same time, he reveals how African American, LGBTQ+ and feminist activists endeavored to build positive collective identities based upon self-esteem, pride and self-respect. This revelatory book will be essential reading for anyone with an interest in the history of mental health, well-being, emotions in the United States’ unique society and culture.