Why Men Hurt Women And Other Reflections On Love Violence And Masculinity

This book seeks to imagine the possibility of a more loving masculinity in a society where structural violence, failures of government and economic inequality underpin much of the violent behaviour that men display. Enriched with personal reflections on his own experiences as a partner, father, psychologist and researcher in the field of men and masculinities, Why Men Hurt Women and Other Reflections on Love, Violence and Masculinityis Kopano Ratele's meditation on love and violence, and the way these forces shape the emotional lives of boys and men. At the core of these critical and deeply insightful texts is the question of why men hurt women they love. Ratele contends that many men in our society suffer from a painful, unrecognised, yet consequential love hunger that sets in during boyhood. This need for love may lie at the root of some of the male violence that damages the lives of women, children and men themselves.

Using conversations, observations, and reflections, psychologist Kopano Ratele meditates on love, violence and masculinity. This book seeks to imagine the possibility of a more loving masculinity in a society where structural violence, failures of government and economic inequality underpin much of the violent behavior that men display. Enriched with personal reflections on his own experiences as a partner, father, psychologist and researcher in the field of men and masculinities, Why Men Hurt Women and Other Reflections on Love, Violence and Masculinity is Kopano Ratele's meditation on love and violence, and the way these forces shape the emotional lives of boys and men. At the core of these critical and deeply insightful texts is the question of why men hurt women they love. Ratele contends that many men in our society suffer from a painful, unrecognized, yet consequential love hunger that sets in during boyhood. This need for love may lie at the root of some of the male violence that damages the lives of women, children and men themselves. Blending academic analysis and rigor in a readable narrative style, Ratele illuminates the complex nuances of gender, intimacy and power in the context of the human need for love and care. While unsparing in his analysis of men's inner lives, Ratele lays out a path for addressing the hunger for love in boys and men. He argues that just as the beliefs and practices relating to gender, sexuality and the nature of love are constantly being challenged and revised, so our ideas about masculinity, and men's and boys' capacity to show genuine loving care for each other and for women, can evolve.

Revised and updated to include current studies, politics, and discussions, The Macho Paradox is the first book to show how violence against women is a male issue as well as a female one -- and how we can come together to stop it. Written by pioneering anti-violence educator Jackson Katz, The Macho Paradox incorporates the voices and experiences of women and men who have confronted the problem from all angles, the discussions surrounding currents events in politics and pop-culture, and where the violence is ignored or encouraged in our upbringing. Katz also offers cogent explanations for why so many men harass and hurt women, and he shows what can be done to stop the violence. By working together as allies, Katz shows how all genders can end the abuse and mistreatment of women.

A fully revised and updated edition to a classic bestseller, The Macho Paradox is the first book to show how violence against women is a men's issue—and how all genders can come together to stop it. From the #MeToo movement to current discussions about gender norms in schools, sports, politics, and media culture, The Macho Paradox incorporates the voices and experiences of the women, men, and others who have confronted the problem of gender violence from all angles. Bestselling author Jackson Katz is a pioneering educator and activist on the topic of men's violence against women. In this revised edition of his heralded book, Katz outlines the ways in which cultural ideas about "manhood" contribute to men's sexually harassing and abusive behaviors and that men have a positive role to play in challenging and changing the sexist cultural norms that too often lead to gender violence. This important book for abused women covers topics ranging from mental and emotional abuse to sexual harassment to domestic violence and is a vital read for women with controlling partners or as a self-help book for men. Praise for The Macho Paradox: "A candid look at the cultural factors that lend themselves to tolerance of abuse and violence against women."—Booklist "If only men would read Katz's book, it could serve as a potent form of male consciousness-raising."—Publishers Weekly "These pages will empower both men and women to end the scourge of male violence and abuse. Katz knows how to cut to the core of the issues, demonstrating undeniably that stopping the degradation of women should be every man's priority."—Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Praise for The Macho Paradox "An honest, intellectually rigorous and insightful work that challenges readers to truly engage in a political discourse that can change lives, communities and nations." --Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes "Jackson Katz is an American hero! With integrity and courage, he has taken his message--that the epidemic of violence against women is a men's issue--into athletic terms, the military and frat houses across the country. His book explains carefully and convincingly why--and how--men can become part of the solution, and work with women to build a world in which everyone is safer." --Michael Kimmel, author of Manhood in America, spokesperson, National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) "If only men would read Katz's book, it could serve as a potent form of male consciousness-raising." --Publishers Weekly "This book leaves no man behind when it comes to taking violence against women personally....After reading this book you can see how important it is to be a stand-up guy and not a standy-by guy, no matter what race or culture you come from." --Alfred L. McMichael, 14th Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps and now serving as the Sergeant Major of NATO "A candid look at the cultural factors that lend themselves to tolerance of abuse and violence against women." --Booklist "These pages will empower both men and women to end the scourge of male violence and abuse. Katz knows how to cut to the core of the issues, demonstrating undeniably that stopping the degradation of women should be every man's priority." --Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

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Men, Masculinities and Intimate Partner Violence examines how gender and other social identities and inequalities shape experiences of, and responses to, violence in intimate relationships. It provides new insights into men as both perpetrators and victims of violence, as well as on how to involve men and boys in anti-violence work. The chapters explore partner violence from the perspectives of researchers, therapists, activists, organisations, media as well as men of different background and sexual orientation. Highlighting the distinct and ambivalent ways we relate to violence and masculinity, this timely volume provides nuanced approaches to men, masculinity and intimate partner violence in various societies in the global North and South. This book foregrounds scholarship on men and masculinities in the context of intimate partner violence. By doing so, it revitalises feminist theorising and research on partner abuse, and brings together the fields of masculinity studies and studies of intimate partner violence. The book will be a vital resource for students and scholars in criminology, gender studies, psychology, social work and sociology, as well as those working with men and boys.

Men are commonly expected to act "masculine" (e.g., self-sufficient, stoic, strong, dependable, brave, tough, and hard-working) while avoiding stereotypically "feminine" traits (e.g., emotional expressivity, empathy, and nurturance). Few, however, realize that these qualities--when taken to the extreme--can cause emotional constriction, substance abuse, depression, aggression, and violence in many men. Further, even though most men are not violent, decades of research has shown that masculinity is distinctly related to sexual and gun violence and men's poorer health. Considering how girls and women have benefitted from decades of conversations on navigation of their gender in a changing world, similar processes are urgently needed for boys and men. The Tough Standard connects the dots between masculinity and the present moment in American culture (defined by high-profile movements such as Me Too, March for Our Lives, and Black Lives Matter), synthesizes over four decades of research in the psychology of men and masculinities, and proposes solutions to corresponding social problems.