I Just Want To Pee Alone

Subtitle on cover: A collection of hilarious essays about motherhood.

Motherhood is tough. You'll laugh or cry, so you might as well laugh. I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is the third book in the New York Times bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series! Motherhood is STILL the toughest - and STILL the funniest - job you'll ever love. We know that raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful - TGIF means nothing to a mother! You said it before and you're saying it again, "I STILL just want to pee alone!" I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is ANOTHER collection of hilarious and heartwarming essays from 40 MORE of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat Bad Parenting Moments Let Me Start By Saying The Sh*tastrophy. Featuring essays like: It's Not Pee. It's You. Open Letter to My Daughter: My Mother was Right and You Should Think I Am, Too. And Then God Laughed Flames, Knives, and Fear: A Family Dinner Let's Piss Off the Babies

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

The second volume in the best-selling I Just Want to Pee Alone series! Don't get us wrong, we love the men in our lives -- we do (most of the time). It's just that sometimes we would like them to go away. Not forever or anything like that. Just for an hour ... or a day ... or a weekend. We want some time to ourselves to read a good book or take a walk or do anything other than try to make a dent in the never ending mound of dirty clothes that keeps piling up on his side of the bed. We just want to be alone. All alone. Is that too much to ask? I Just Want to Be Alone is a collection of humorous essays from 37 of the most Super Cool Lady Writers you'll find on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Baby Sideburns, A.K. Turner, My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream, and Bad Parenting Moments.

I Just Want to Be Perfect is the fourth book in the bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. It brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect. The cult of perfection is a thing. As women, we are constantly inundated with "helpful" and/or "ah-may-zing" tips to improve our looks, please our men, raise the next Einstein (in a wheat-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free environment), and feng shui the crap out of our homes. Whether it's the hot new diet that involves only eating what you can forage from the floor of your minivan, bleaching everything from your hair to your teeth to your butt hole, or clearing your clutter by mindfully thanking your ratty underwear for its long, dedicated service before you toss them, we've all tried something to be more perfect. We all try strive for perfection and balance in our lives, and most of us fail--spectacularly. These are those stories.

From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.

3 Day Potty Training is a fun and easy-to-follow guide for potty training even the most stubborn child just 3 days. Not just for pee and poop but for day and night too! Lora’s method is all about training the child to learn their own body signs. If the parent is having to do all the work, then the child isn’t truly trained, but with Lora’s method your child will learn when their body is telling them that they need to use the potty and they will communicate that need to you.

Parenting humor