You Re The Reason Mommy Drinks

Everyone thinks it, but nobody says it. Finally, there's an author with the courage to write what everyone's been thinking. You're the Reason Mommy Drinks is a children's book that is definitely not for children. But it will leave every mother worldwide nodding her head in agreement.

A wickedly funny look at the challenges of new parenthood. With cocktail recipes. Being a new mom is “AHHHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?” hard. Why are all these tiny clothes so expensive? Who wrote these mind-numbing board books? Will Mommy ever carry a purse again that’s not a diaper bag? And how is she even functioning off so little sleep? Reasons Mommy Drinks is a fresh, insightful, and hilarious collection of the various struggles faced by new parents—from mommy groups and single-people envy to the end of maternity leave—with a well-deserved cocktail recipe to go with each one. This must-have resource will help sleep-deprived new moms survive the baby years with their sense of humor, if not their lives as they once knew them, intact.

A wickedly funny look at the challenges of new parenthood. With cocktail recipes. Being a new mom is “AHHHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?” hard. Why are all these tiny clothes so expensive? Who wrote these mind-numbing board books? Will Mommy ever carry a purse again that’s not a diaper bag? And how is she even functioning off so little sleep? Reasons Mommy Drinks is a fresh, insightful, and hilarious collection of the various struggles faced by new parents—from mommy groups and single-people envy to the end of maternity leave—with a well-deserved cocktail recipe to go with each one. This must-have resource will help sleep-deprived new moms survive the baby years with their sense of humor, if not their lives as they once knew them, intact.

Make every day funny with the riotous journal companion to Gill Sims' smash hit Sunday Times bestseller Why Mommy Drinks. You're the proud owner of a journal called Why Mommy Drinks, so you almost certainly have no time at all for meditation, mindfulness or self-care (either the self-help sort or the euphemistic sort). This journal isn't about promising to make you a better person, or a happier one, or a thinner one or even a wiser one, because there's nothing wrong with the person you are. What it will do, is give you somewhere you can record your memories for the year. Or you can just skip straight to the drink recommendations at the end of each month. Totally up to you. Tired of the daily school drop off struggle? Needing a cold glass of pinot after parents' evening? Mommy knows exactly how you're feeling. Recount and reflect on the ups and downs, the joys and the trials of motherhood with this honest and laugh-out-loud companion. Featuring charming illustrations and creative prompts, as well as Mommy's hilarious reflections throughout the year, this journal is the perfect gift for Moms everywhere.

Why Mommy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation Peter and Jane.

More than 175 martinis just for moms! You're at every game, performance, and practice. You weather colds, flus, and strep throat better than anyone. You can finish a diorama in two hours flat. Isn't it time you had your own happy hour? Filled with more than 175 refreshing martini recipes, this collection gives you a reason to take a seat and just unwind. Featuring simple instructions that can be done in a matter of minutes, you will: Relax tubside with a Bathtub Gin(ger). Relish the view of a spotless bedroom with a Hurricane Martini in hand. Savor bedtime with a Relaxing Tea Martini. Reward yourself with a Cucumber Martini after getting the kids to eat their veggies. Celebrate fitting into your skinny jeans with a Thin Gin. With The Big Book of Martinis for Moms, you'll always have the perfect answer for every joy and accomplishment motherhood has to offer!

Why Mommy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation Peter and Jane. Boy Child Peter, Girl Child Jane and Daddy have exciting adventures with Mommy. Daddy likes gadgets. Peter and Jane like starting fires, trying to kill each other and driving Mommy to drink. Written from the point of view of an exhausted mommy at the end of the day, it's honest, it's funny, and it's a little bit sweary. It is Mommy's 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel at a future of people asking if she wants to come to their yoga class, and book clubs, where everyone is wearing statement scarves and they are all 'tiddly' after a glass of Pinot Grigio. But Mommy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who 'live for their children', boasting about Boy Child and Girl Child's achievements. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering FML over and over, and then remembers the gem of an idea she's had...

Pull Mommy back from the edge with this irreverent adult coloring book! MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the adult coloring book for the delightfully impolite. For the rare moments you have to yourself, enjoy the calming act of coloring with a little dose of sass. This collection of beautiful designs and fun illustrations are paired with the very best of all our worst thoughts, from “I child-proofed my house, but they still get in,” to “Home is where the vodka is.” Each hilariously captioned design is printed on sturdy, tear-out pages perfect for amusing decoration or passive-aggressive gift-giving. When you want to unwind with coloring but aren’t in the mood to embrace sunshine and daisies, MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the perfect adult coloring book to let you speak your native sarcasm!